Dirty Little Secret
by Nissa Fox
Summary: Bleach AU: Grimmjow is the most popular student in Karakura High. When he learns a secret about his ex-best friend, Ichigo he makes it his duty to keep it hidden. But does he really want his help or will something else come from it? Grimmichi, story heavy (if you are just looking for smut then this won't interest you), lemon in the later chapters. Rated M for swearing and smut.
1. Chapter 1

So after my last story I said that I was planning to take a break so I can focus on some of my other hobbies...Well, I haven't been known for being truthful. Here is another story that I hope is a bit better written after my first story. Please enjoy since I worked really hard and make sure to tell me how you feel.

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach I wouldn't be writing this.

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Chapter 1

It isn't a party until Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez walks in. The house can be jammed with sweaty high schoolers grinding up against each other, blasting music that made the house shake and ears pop, and enough alcohol to kill two elephants, but once Grimmjow makes his presence known that is when things get really crazy. Any crazy party story that has been born from Karakura High in the past three years has originated from the crazy shit that has come from Grimmjow's presence at a party.

The crazy story about the skinny dipping in the neighbor's pool? Grimmjow's. That time where the school hottie, Rangiku Matsumoto got so drunk that she took her top off and had people do jello shots off of her stomach? Grimmjow's. That time an innocent movie night turned into everyone watching porn that eventually led to an orgy. Mother fuckin' Grimmjow's.

Grimmjow was the most attractive and popular kid in school, a living legend. He used to be the star of the football team, but left it because it became too boring and going to practice became such a bother. Walking down the hall made people's heads turn. He never had to bully anyone to give them their homework, girls would just throw their answers at him without asking for anything in return. Life was easy. He never had to put an ounce of effort into anything.

The party of the week was going to celebrate Tier Harribel's birthday. She was his ex after only one week of dating and the breakup was still pretty fresh. Grimmjow was never thought of as a nice guy, but every now and then he was willing to do a little bit of charity, especially if it was to someone he has wronged in the past. It wasn't a good idea to be on bad terms with Tier Harribel, she was dangerous and fought dirty and breaking up with her the day before her birthday was a pretty shitty thing to do, but if Grimmjow didn't show up to her party then it was really going to suck.

Grimmjow being him wanted to avoid her at all costs and later she will learn that the reason why her party was so badass was because he has graced it with his presence. But also Grimmjow being him wanted to get laid at all costs and he couldn't exactly do that when all the girls who were potential enough for him to bang were at her house. The pros and cons of showing up aside there were plenty of people so the chances of their paths crossing was small even if he does create a large commotion.

Well, that was his hopes at least, but the moment he stepped through the doors of Harribel's luxurious home and taken in the already electrifying party he came face to face with a tan beauty with blond hair the color of corn and impossibly green eyes. Her face showed no emotion, not that it was a big difference from how she usually was. Despite the common sense of turning around and leaving before spiking major drama Grimmjow let himself in with a big toothy smile and evil eyes.

"Hey, Hal." Grimmjow said as confident as ever as if it wasn't a crime to walk into his ex's party that he just broke up with without even bringing a present or a drink to supply even more life into the chaos.

Harribel's nose scrunched up at the nickname that Grimmjow used while dating her, but her expression quickly reverted back to the expressionless one that she produced before. "Grimmjow," She responded. No nickname, no tears, no viewable resentment, just the way Grimmjow liked it.

"What exactly do you think you are doing here?" She asked the blue haired former jock, squinting her eyes and crossing her arms over her oversized chest, a chest that Grimmjow has become _well_ acquainted with.

"Breathing life into your stupid party, no need to thank me," Grimmjow said in his usual cocky voice that has become a trademark for him, confident, attractive, powerful.

Harribel bit down on her lips, restraining herself from screaming at him. If she went ballistic it would be clear that he had the upper hand. "It would have been better if you weren't here." She scowled, gripping her arms tightly so that they would leave small marks on them with her talon like nails.

"I'm not asking for your permission." Grimmjow retorted pushing his way past her and entering a swarm of people, continuing to advance through the swaying crowd of sweaty bodies. She couldn't even call after him. No one dared to fight Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez in his element. It would make more sense for her to leave her own party then to try and kick him out. The best she could do is try to enjoy the rest of her night and cry about it while she cleaned up the huge mess the party will make before her parents come home.

He made his way to the table of drinks which has included a bowl of mystery punch that he knew better than partaking it. He may have been the life of the party always, but he never knew what kind of reaction he would get from playing with that wild card. He downed two cups of bitter alcohol without taking note of what exactly drinking. With a slight burn in the back of the throat he deemed himself smashed enough to pick up the pace of the party.

He destroyed sexy Mila in a game of beer pong without needing to take a single sip. It was a good thing too since he was already more smashed than he should be. Girls are always excited to take up a challenge with Grimmjow since they think that if they get him anymore drunk they could have him on his back with them on top, but she was clearly new to parties if she thought she could take down Grimmjow even if he was already past his limit when it came to drinks.

She would have been easy to take into another room to have his way with her, but he decided to leave her to the wolves. There were plenty of guys there who came with the soul intent of losing their virginity that night and with sexy Mila drunk enough to not even stand up straight much less judge who was hot or not he can make some dreams come true that night. It wasn't a major story to create, but it was enough to be viewed as a hero in the eyes of those losers who still relied on their right hand as their primary method of getting off.

That seemed to be the least Grimmjow could do for the night, and probably all he could do. He may have reached his limit. He was usually a good drinker, but he didn't know why he was pushing himself past his limit. He made his rounds and once he made a rotation he scooped up two more drinks which he downed faster than what was probably wise earning him a pounding headache.

The loud music that was blaring through the overhead speakers causing the house to vibrate and hum along to the song that can only be heard at clubs wasn't helping to remedy his head either. Grimmjow's head pounded faster to the beat of the music and made it impossible to hear his own thoughts.

Things turned worse when he turned a corner to try and find a more silent location of Harribel's house. His head came in contact with what felt like stone. "Hey," came a loud obnoxious voice in response that only made his headache throb as added punishment. Grimmjow rubbed his head and opened one eye that he didn't realize was closed. He looked up at the girl who seems unphased by the fact that their foreheads collided. "Are you doing alright, Grimm? Did you run into Harribel yet?"

Grimmjow groaned at his supposed best friend's questions that put strain on him. Why must she ask him to use brain activity even if they were relatively easy questions to answer?

"Yeah, I did." Grimmjow groaned. "But don't worry; she's got nothing on me."

Nelliel pouted, pursing her lips out and crossing her arms over her oversized chest just like how Harribel did. Grimmjow half expected her to start tapping her foot as well. He was reminded how motherly Nel could be sometimes and how she has warned him that it may be dangerous to get on Harribel's bad side so he should avoid dating her.

He has heard horror stories of the people who have wronged her that make him shudder, ruined reputation, destroyed belongings, and one of the boys she has dated even ended up in jail. He has never been one to deny beauty though and neither was the thing in his pants. They have had a lot of fun together until Grimmjow couldn't deal with commitment anymore and broke up with her before he could end up cheating with her. The problem was that his timing was terrible, right before her birthday.

Grimmjow groaned in response to the lecture that he knew he was about to get. He absentmindedly twirled the remainder of the drink in his cup around. "She's smart. She knows that if she does anything bad to me I can hit her ten times worse. She knows who I am and she knows better than to cross me."

Nel's rosy lips curled into a disgusted snarl at the sound of Grimmjow's drunken cockiness. If observed closely you can see that pity was hidden in her big brown eyes. "It is undeniable that you are a powerful force at school, but I worry about you sometimes. It isn't impossible to gain a bad reputation and I'm afraid that if something happens you'll end up getting hurt." She started to lecture, resting her hands on her hips as she started to monologue about how she loves him and didn't want any harm to come of him and how he needs to learn how to actually use his brain instead of thinking with his dick.

Grimmjow has heard this a million times and his head was not ready to have this conversation again. His head wasn't ready for anything. He was too drunk and bothered to have to deal with this kind of shit. He needed to stop her before he was stranded there for the rest of the night with her going off on him.

"Shit, it's your ex." Grimmjow said pointing at the huge crowd of people that seemed to be more focused on the pounding beat of the music then anything they had to say. "You've got to hide." He said faking urgency, pushing her lightly on her back to lead her into the more unoccupied parts of the house. It wasn't a complete lie. He may have not seen her ex, but her ex was sexy Mila's best friend so if Mila Rose was there that means that he was there too. After Nel was properly alone Grimmjow peaked around the corner to look at the crowd, searching for a person who seemed nonexistent.

"Shit, I can't see him. I'll try to get closer." Grimmjow nodded, putting on his best helpful friend act. "Stay here."

Grimmjow headed back towards the crowd of people, but before he could rejoin the party he made a quick turn and exited down a different hallway. Nel wouldn't see him if he headed down that way instead. She would figure out that he has lied to her eventually after he doesn't come back. He has done this before since he learned better than to dump a drink on her shirt to get her to go away. It wasn't the best experience, his body and wallet has never suffered so much before.

It wasn't long until all of the alcohol he has allowed into his system traveled down to his junk. He needed to take a leak and though he has been to Harribel's house multiple times his intoxicated mind made it hard for him to tell where he was. Once he was drunk his sense of direction was just as bad as Zoro's from _One Piece._ Heck he could probably compete with him.

He headed down an unlit hallway. He opened a random door hoping that it was the bathroom or at least give him some indication where he was. The lights were off when he entered the room. Grimmjow squinted his eyes to try to make out the shapes of the room before his intoxicated brain caught up to him and he realized that he could just turn on the lights. He reached his hand out to the side and groped around to find the switch. Light illuminated the room, bathing it in a bright white light that irritated Grimmjow's eyes and causing his headache to groan in response.

That was when his head jerked as a loud banging sound erupted next to him. Grimmjow jolted at the sound and his head whipped around causing his vision to swim. Blinking a few times was able to clear the stars dancing in his eyes. He observed the abnormality that he has not noticed before. He wasn't on the ground floor like he thought he was at one point he must have walked upstairs without realizing it during his quest to find a bathroom and found his way to Harribel's bedroom.

How long was this quest to find a bathroom exactly? The fact that he wasn't where he thought he was may have been strange, he couldn't underestimate his drunk self's sense of direction or perception of time, but the even stranger sight was the chair that was leaned up against Harribel's closet door. Coming from that said closet door was the sound of banging. He light was turned off in there, but there was clearly someone that was trapped inside and the fact that the lights in Harribel's room were turned off gave the perception of being alone.

Grimmjow pondered the idea of leaving and allowing whatever prank was made to carry out. It may have been funny if whoever it was in there was forgotten and everyone left while the poor kid was still in there and while Harribel is cleaning up she is left with one last surprise. As funny as that would be Grimmjow's curiosity was getting the better of him as he pondered who was unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of such a cruel, uncreative prank.

Grimmjow responded to the banging on the door and pulled the chair that was holding the doorknob in place away from the door. As soon as the sound of the chair sliding across the hard wood floor became audible the closet door swung open and a sigh escaped the victim's mouth and his eyes scanned upwards to meet Grimmjow's.

It took Grimmjow a moment to recognize who was standing in front of him and he immediately wanted to beat himself up for not recognizing him right away. On the other hand the victim looked half tempted to close the door again and wait for him to leave, but Grimmjow was having none of it.

"Ichigo?" He asked curiously, the name sounding odd as it slipped from his mouth. He hasn't heard that name in a long time much less spoke it.

The boy scrunched his eyebrows closer together as irritation became visible on his face. Grimmjow was debating whether the irritation came from him being locked in a closet or having to have Grimmjow be the one to rescue him. He sincerely hoped it was the closet, he was too drunk to deal with Ichigo's lack of respect.

Opposite from Ichigo, Grimmjow was just straight up confused. He couldn't tell how they ended up in this position. He hasn't seen Ichigo in a long time, he assumed that he transferred or something and he didn't hear a word since it just seemed like he dropped off the face of the Earth. Not only that, the Ichigo he knew was feisty and would never end up in a position where he was on the receiving end of a prank. He didn't know who did that to him, but the guy that picked a fight with him must have been huge or Ichigo must have let himself go.

Ichigo hasn't said a word. His face was downcast, staring at Grimmjow's shoes deeming them more worthy to look at then his face. His fists were clenched tightly and he waited for Grimmjow to move out of the way so that he could step out of his prison without having to get any closer to him.

Ichigo hasn't said a word to him during this entire exchange almost as if he has forgotten how to speak, the possibility of that being unlikely as he remembered the many verbal arguments he has gotten into with him. Ichigo used to be his best friend throughout their childhood and through middle school. Their powerful friendship didn't exactly carry through high school though. Grimmjow joined the popular crowd when he was recognized as worthy and then eventually took over. Ichigo on the other hand focused more on his studies and joined more difficult classes. Despite being relatively attractive he gave off an air that he looked down on those around him that approached him with less than pure intentions.

The differences in interest slowly broke them apart until their friendship was left as just a memory. It's been a long time since Grimmjow has even seen his striking orange hair in the hallway or at the cafeteria much less talked to him. They barely even made eye contact, crossing paths without meeting. Despite them not talking to each other anymore Grimmjow wasn't purposely trying to separate himself from Ichigo nor was he willing to give him up as a friend so seeing him on the receiving end of a prank made him genuinely uncomfortable, scratch that he was furious.

"Who did that to you?" Grimmjow growled. Any sign of him being under the influence was gone. His determination to beat the shit out of the person who shoved Ichigo in there was more powerful than the alcohol he consumed. Okay, he was clearly still under the influence and the alcohol that traveled to his junk miraculously traveled upwards to his head and fists. His face was red in fury that made complete sense to his drunken mind.

Ichigo cocked his head to the side as he studied the man standing in front of him and then shrugged as if he wasn't entirely surprised by his angry response. "Some assholes, just forget about it." Ichigo responded, speaking for the first time and getting impatient with Grimmjow who still hasn't moved out of the way to allow him to step out of the closet, having to resort to shoving Grimmjow aside so that he could just get the hell out of that room.

Grimmjow caught him by the shoulder while Ichigo attempted to shove past him. He eyed his former best friend skeptically as if the answer would appear on his face if he held him there long enough, but since that wasn't working he resorted to words. "Which assholes?" Grimmjow asked insistently with a slight slur in his words. "Why the fuck would they do that to you?"

Ichigo ignored him; his eyes downcast not meeting Grimmjow's unclear blue eyes that were obvious evidence of how intoxicated he was. Grimmjow shook him to try and get an answer, but all it did was make Ichigo sway back and forth and return his eyes back to Grimmjow with his eyebrows a bit more scrunched up.

Grimmjow growled in response, clenching his jaw tight as he took a large purposeful step towards Ichigo causing him to have to back up until his back hit the wall. He grabbed a fist full of his shirt around the collar causing part of his smooth toned stomach to become bare. Most of the kids in Ichigo's nerdy class would have been hyperventilating by now. A big buff former football star pinning them against the wall, the king of the school, _the Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez_ locking them in place, but this wasn't some loser kid in some AP advanced biology class. This was Ichigo and Ichigo doesn't step down from a challenge especially if the challenger was him.

Ichigo glared into Grimmjow's eyes, attempting to convey a message to Grimmjow's mind directly which clearly wasn't in the right frame of mind. The message was probably something along the lines of 'if you want your friends below your waist to stay intact then you better let me go.' He gripped onto the wrist that was holding him in place ready to pry him off of him if things get dicey or he needs to take more assertive actions that were more related to his telepathic threat that didn't get through to him.

Despite Ichigo clearly being unamused by Grimmjow's forward actions that can be seen as threatening Grimmjow continued to interrogate Ichigo, "If you don't tell me who did that to you then you can bet your ass that I'm throwing you back in the closet." He threatened not really sure if continuing the bullying on this now stranger was the best course of action when he was in fact trying to learn who did this to him so that he could teach them a lesson. He kind of contradicted himself and it seemed that Ichigo picked up on that because his immediate response was to roll his eyes and to pry his hand off of him.

Grimmjow only tightened his grip on him, but Ichigo shut his eyes and bit his lips. "Grimm," Ichigo pleaded using his old nickname. Hearing that one syllable was enough to pull at Grimmjow's heart strings causing him to loosen up his grip "it would be better for the both of us if you just forgot that you saw me here." Ichigo insisted. Ichigo allowed his hand to fall from Grimmjow's wrist, letting it fall to his side. His face was unscrunched, not holding any signs of hostility that was there before. He gave Grimmjow an almost pleading look and without realizing it Grimmjow's own hand dropped and he took a step back so that Ichigo can let himself off of the wall.

Ichigo let himself off of the wall and made a beeline past Grimmjow out of the room without so much as saying a goodbye or a thank you. Even though Grimmjow was furious at whoever did that to him he couldn't help stare at the door frame that his former best friend walked through.

He couldn't recall a time that Ichigo has ever looked at him like that. Ichigo without having his eyebrows knit together and having a somewhat gentle expression like he cared for Grimmjow's wellbeing. Then there were the words that Ichigo said to him. What did he mean that it would have been better for him to forget that he was there? Like hell he was able to let that go. He was the king of Karakura High and if someone was going to mess with his former best friend then they were going to pay. He didn't want to let people see Ichigo as weak. They didn't know shit about him and what he was capable of not that he had much to say either.

If Ichigo didn't want to tell him anything then so be it. Heck even if he wanted to keep away from Grimmjow and never allow him the opportunity of being friends again then that was his decision too. That doesn't mean that Grimmjow was going to sit back and allow people to mess with him. Messing with him was his responsibility and that was only because that was his way of showing his best friend any form of affection. If he couldn't do it then nobody can.

He may have not seen Ichigo in years. He was surprised to see him at a party of all places since it didn't really seem like his kind of scene. It was a bummer too. He was attractive if he wasn't such a nerd and went to more parties he would have definitely been popular. His bight orange hair was more vibrant than Grimmjow's. His face was a lot softer than his and he gave off the impression that he was a nice guy even if he did have a bad habit of frowning that didn't seem to have disappeared during the three years they have been separated. He grew taller, not quite as tall as Grimmjow, but comparing the two of them would be unfair. His legs traveled for miles and it made him look graceful. Then there was his body. It is magnificent. It's toned, and muscular even if he was a bit skinny. Grimmjow was amazed that someone was able to get the upper hand on him since he was always able to put up a fight when Grimmjow roughhoused with him in middle school. He would hate to see what the other looked like if Ichigo actually did put up a fight. Women would be throwing themselves at him and maybe, just maybe Grimmjow would be willing to share.

Seeing him again may have been a sign to get his best friend back. Drag him away from his beloved books and get his mind off studying for a while. It seemed that some good has come from coming to this party even if he didn't get laid. It may have not been too late to check that off of his checklist, but he knew that even if he did try he wouldn't be really into it. There was no way he could get his mind off of what just happened.

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 **A/N: Fun fact for new readers: I like reviews a lot. Follows and favorites are fun too, but I like reviews a lot. So old and new readers please make sure you leave a review. It's the most concrete evidence I have that people are actually reading the stuff I put out.**


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so surprised by the nice response I've been getting for this story. Thank you so much. I love hearing from you guys even if there are only a few of you. Here is an extra long chapter

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Chapter 2

Ichigo knew that he shouldn't have gone to that party. He already had a hard time saying no which made it nearly impossible when his favorite student that he was tutoring insisted on him coming. Even though he tried to explain to her that it wasn't exactly his scene she insisted on introducing him to her friends so they can possibly help him get rid of his virginity.

He didn't know how she found out that his virginity was still intact since he has never brought it up. Despite it now apparently it being a sin to be a high school senior who isn't sexually active he hasn't really taken too much interest in abandoning his virginity, but he already knew that she had the wrong idea about his interests. It's not like he made those said interests well known. He kept mostly to himself and he only told his immediate family and his best friend knew about them.

His best friend Rukia said he would be fine and that he should see what it was like to experience a party since it was so far out of his comfort zone. She always tried to encourage him trying new things, but he always thought he would pick up something like tabletop board games or web design. Parties weren't exactly what he had in mind when shopping for new hobbies.

All he wanted to do was spend his night with a book and maybe a cup of tea if he wasn't too lazy to prepare one, but while he was changing into his sweatpants to spend the rest of the night in bed he got a text from his student, Harribel reminding him that he better come. She always insisted that he was so uptight and that he would have fun if he learned how to live a little. He didn't know how to explain to her that spending his night in sweats without any obligation to anyone but himself was his idea of a good time.

When he tried to refuse she pulled the birthday card and he found himself sighing and changing into clothes that he thought was more appropriate for a party. He may have had to make a Google search and dig through his closet a bit, but he was able to find something somewhat appropriate to wear.

He should have turned back as soon as he entered the party. By the time he has gotten there the party was in full swing and it reeked of alcohol and body odor. The music boomed in his ears and made him crave his quiet room. If the music wasn't so loud he could have sworn that he could hear his book that he was so close to finishing call out to him. Each body that swayed and knocked into him made him feel more and more claustrophobic. He made a plan find Harribel and say happy birthday. As soon as he did that he was going to book it, run back home and shower while sitting in the fetal position for the rest of the night no matter how much water is wasted.

Then he slipped. He should have listened more to his own common sense than get influenced by those around him. He got lost in the party the crowd swayed and the only way to prevent more bodies from falling on top of them was to sway with it. Some guy grabbed a hold of him and started to grind against him. He didn't know how to react so he just stood their awkwardly as the admittedly attractive guy had his fun with him in the middle of the crowd without any regard to how they looked at him or how he felt. Despite the so called dance floor being dark he could still make out the moving shapes and the guy he didn't recognize. Everyone seemed a bit too busy with their own business to notice what was going on. Ichigo tried to articulate that he wanted to leave, and he wasn't sure whether he said something to make him misunderstand or that guy was too under the influence to comprehend what he was screaming over the loud music.

The guy took Ichigo by the hand, the first time Ichigo has ever held hands with a boy. Maybe he should have pulled away, but he was curious about where things were going. He blamed the party. He thought that he was taking him to a more silent part of the house so that they could talk and maybe even learn his name. That was when the guy slurred that he wanted to have sex with him making Ichigo swallow the lump in his throat. He never so much as had his first kiss yet here he was getting offered to skip right to the last chapter.

He should have seriously known better. Life doesn't just give you what you want and neither do parties. When the guy flicked the lights on in a solitary room in the house that was far from the bustling noise that took place down below he found that he wasn't alone with the guy, but shared the space with not only the boy who has been making a move on him, but two more guys that he has recognized as members of the football team. From the looks on those guys' faces he knew that he wasn't skipping ahead, or skipping _way_ ahead anytime soon, not that he had any intention of doing so.

Ichigo turned around to see the guy that brought him there blocking the door. It took him a moment to recognize the guy as one of those so called popular kids. Ichigo had to rack his brain to remember the name of the not so significant guy who has tricked him. It was Tesra, right? Not that it mattered; he should be more focused on the state of his own life rather than some name.

If the guy standing in front of Ichigo wasn't so freakily tall they would have been standing nose to nose. The lanky tall guy he recognized as Nnoitra. He used to be on the basketball team, but he was way too aggressive for it so he joined football so that he could be as violent as he wanted until they gave him a penalty. He heard that Tesra followed his every command. It would make sense that Nnoitra was the ring leader behind this little prank. The guy standing next to him was the notoriously violent Kenpachi Zaraki. Ichigo has forgotten the number of people he has injured in the games he have played nor has he really thought much about it until now.

Nnoitra took a fist full of Ichigo's hair, forcing him to look up at him. "Looks like we fished up a fag," he hummed. Ichigo gripped onto Nnoitra's wrist and glared at him with fire in his eyes and eyebrows pushed together. His father would be so disappointed to see him frowning all the time. He always insisted that he was going to get frown lines if he kept it up. "A feisty one at that." He laughed.

"I was just going to tell your friend that I was planning on leaving. I didn't choose to get dragged here." Ichigo said directing most of what he was saying to the boy standing behind him as to remind him rather than pay any mind to the guy pulling at his scalp.

Nnoitra glanced at Tesra. His eyes widened when the lean jock glared at him with so much malice that Ichigo could feel it resonating off of him in waves. He was pale and his eyes shifted from every person in the room. "He didn't push me off when I danced with him nor did he object when I said that I wanted to have sex with him or took him here." Tesra said defending himself, trying to vocally use Ichigo as a shield.

"Guess you didn't get the memo." Nnoitra cooed, gripping onto Ichigo's cheeks making them push forward in front of the rest of his facial features and making his lips look more like they belong to a fish. "No fags allowed."

Ichigo didn't keep up with the sports in the school even though the schools hierarchy is determined by the sports you play, the people you fuck, and the parties you throw yet he knew the stories that came from these two guys. Looks like he was in trouble and he knew better than to fight a battle he couldn't win. He was out numbered so he knew that the best way to walk out of the party with minimal injuries was to surrender.

He felt super lame being trapped in the closet with something as small as a chair blocking his way out. He felt weak allowing two monstrous guys put him in that position. They shoved him around a little and there will probably be some light bruising under his clothes, but other than that he was relatively unhurt.

The lights were turned off in the closet and then the room, not even allowing a little light to leak in from the outline of the door. He was left alone in the dark. He got tired of knocking, hoping that someone would hear him. He sat on the floor, right next to Harribel's impressive shoe collection waiting for some sign that someone would walk in and hopefully not to make use of the bed. He texted Harribel where he was, but she didn't even open the message. He lost track of how long he sat there, his phone died while he was in an intense game of _Fire Emblem Heroes_ and no one wore watches anymore and even if he did it would be too dark to read it so he was just left sitting there counting prime numbers.

Around the time he lost count light illuminated the outline of the closet door he was trapped behind allowing light to pour in the darkness that he was trapped in, a sign that someone walked in. He pounded on the door to give a sign that he was there before the room was left abandoned again. There was a moment of silence before he heard the chair sliding out from under the door knob before he opened the door himself, not realizing how anxious he was being in the small space until he was given the option to leave.

It would have been less embarrassing if it was anyone else, but no it had to be his old best friend that has abandoned him for popularity. Okay, it was unfair to blame him for that since it was more of a mutual thing and he could be held at fault just as much. They hung out less and less until they were nonexistent in each other's lives. It wasn't either of their faults that they had different interests. Ichigo was interested in books, his studies, and securing a proper future for himself while Grimmjow seemed a bit more interested in fucking any moving thing with a vagina. Their friendship ended healthily and they winded up never having to see each other. Sometimes he would notice Grimmjow's blue hair bobbing above every other head at the school and Ichigo may or may not look downward when he saw him as to hide his own head of hair that acted like a beacon.

Grimmjow seemed surprised to see him like he was a ghost of his past yet Ichigo cringed at the sight of him. Grimmjow must have thought that Ichigo disappeared or maybe he has forgotten him already and seeing him there was a reminder that he had a friend that he no longer existed even though he knew him for practically his entire life.

The worst part was that Grimmjow acted like how he did when they were still friends. Even though he was drunk he recognized Ichigo immediately and demanded to know who shoved Ichigo into the closet. He wanted to protect him just like how he used to insist when they were still kids. There was no way he could let him do that. He wasn't planning on telling him anything. He didn't need a drunk man to defend his honor much less if that drunk man was his former best friend. He was able to escape Grimmjow's investigation once he let him go and all that was left was to leave the party which wasn't too difficult since it was starting to get late, but even as he left he could tell that Grimmjow wanted to keep talking to him, find out what happened, or maybe even try to catch up with him.

Adding to the worst part was that Ichigo kind of wanted to do the same. He wanted to find out if Grimmjow was able to stay out of trouble without him there. He was tempted to tell him the people who dared bully him so that he could let Grimmjow at them like a wild dog. He may have even wanted to rekindle the friendship that he tried so hard to forget, but he knew better than to get involved with him. If he went back to him then he would be brought into the limelight. He could become popular and even though that may have seemed like the dream to some people who shared the same social standing as him it wasn't his dream. He just wanted to remain unnoticed. The less people who know him the less people there are to drag him out of his comfort zone or learn about his secret. He didn't need his old friend and he definitely didn't need to worry about his old feelings on top of that.

He hoped that Grimmjow was too intoxicated to remember anything on Monday morning, but his hopes were dashed when he noticed people staring at him as he walked through the hallways. The only thing that makes people notice him was the bright color of his hair, but these stares weren't the same as the ones he has received before. There was an air of enmity in their eyes, casting him out as an 'other.' Not accepted. Harribel's party was supposedly big even by this school's standards so the rumors about him must have spread somehow even if Grimmjow didn't make his rescue public. At this rate everyone at the school was going to learn what happened, not just the popular cliques that gossiped like it was essential as breathing, but losers and maybe even the faculty.

Hate mail was shoved into the vents of his locker causing a few slips of paper to fall out when he opened it all labeled 'fag.' He never came out. Never felt it safe to come out. He hated how he was forced out of the closet because of an assumption and rumor spread about him. The irony of all of this was that the bullies that discovered his sexual orientation locked him in a closet, but at the same time forcefully dragging him out by his hair. There was no point in trying to claw the hands that gripped him since everyone can hear him screaming so all he could do was allow himself to be dragged through the dirt and hope that the pain would eventually stop.

He made it to his first period class early. AP English class was his favorite since it revolved around his favorite subject. He loved books and nobody was going to bother him when he was the smartest and most intimidating person in the room for a class that was already difficult to begin with. There weren't a lot of people in his class since there weren't a lot of people who wanted to take AP classes during their senior year. Also it was hard to bully him when his teacher was in the front of the room with a book of literature open and held in front of his nose especially since Ichigo was his favorite student.

He sat silently at his desk; usually he would open a book of his own or ogle at Mr. Ukitake who was no doubt one of the most attractive people he has ever seen. He was almost 18 he was allowed to have a crush on an older man. Mr. Ukitake noticed him staring off into nothing and he gave Ichigo a light smile before standing up and taking long strides to reach Ichigo's assigned desk.

"What's wrong, Ichigo?" He asked without getting too close to his student.

Ichigo blinked as his attractive teacher questioned him directly, pulling him out of his daydream. Ichigo never showed a glum face in his class even though he didn't exactly consider himself a happy person. "I'm fine." Ichigo reassured.

Mr. Ukitake looked at him skeptically, but then shrugged, knowing that Ichigo wasn't exactly planning on having a heart to heart with him right before class started. Maybe he could impose on him later. He reached into his bag and handed Ichigo a book. "I don't know what's bothering you, but I personally find it comforting to get lost in another world. You can borrow that book from me for a while." He said with a sympathetic smile on his face while he leaned against another student's unoccupied desk.

Ichigo quizzically flipped the book over and examined the cover. " _Romeo and Juliet?_ " Ichigo questioned. In the list of literature related clichés this was towards the top and it didn't help that he was receiving this book from the teacher that he had a crush on. He felt his nose scrunch up and a smile attempt to pull at his face as he looked at the book that his teacher lent him. Wasn't that a good sign that he was lending him one of his own possessions? Even so he shouldn't look so happy. "I've already read this one more than once, sir." Ichigo said holding the book back to his professor. Ichigo's mind immediately went dark as he realized what he was doing. Is he some kind of idiot? Just take the damn book! Don't give it back.

Ukitake shrugged and pushed the book back into Ichigo's chest. "I find it the most comforting to revisit stories you have already read. Maybe you'll find something there that you haven't noticed before."

Not giving Ichigo time to respond Mr. Ukitake turned around to take his seat back at his desk. His white hair swayed behind him moving elegantly behind the thin framed man. He took a seat back at his desk, reopened his book and gave Ichigo another gentle smile.

Ichigo was in awe as his teacher quickly changed gears and buried himself back in his book as if he has never left. Ichigo stared at the book in between his two hands. He stared at the cursive writing at the front of the light pink book. _Romeo and Juliet_ wasn't exactly his favorite out of Shakespeare's plays. Call him cliché, but he really enjoyed _Hamlet_ or _Macbeth_ and even if the complex wording of the bard can occupy him it wouldn't do much to take his mind off of things.

He opened the book and tried to focus on it. Hell he wanted to enjoy it. His crush freaking handed the book to him despite him probably reading it himself, sacrificing his beloved reading time to lend the book to a student that he had no obligation to except to teach him and give him a grade.

His peace was disturbed when his best friend Rukia came charging into the room. He grabbed Ichigo by the back of his collar and pulled him back without even muttering a greeting, nearly causing him to fall backwards on his chair or tear his shirt. He quickly scrambled from his seat while Ukitake looked up from his book at the commotion that Rukia was causing and chuckled at Ichigo's sudden surprised expression at his best friend's intrusive actions. He was used to this sight since they shared the same class and Rukia can cause quite a commotion with Ichigo at the other end of it.

Ichigo stood to his full height to break Rukia's grip on his now crumpled up shirt and followed her out. She led him to the stairway that no one uses. People tend to use it to smoke in between classes and teachers don't care enough to stop them since it was too much of a bother to punish every student who did that. At least it was a good quiet place to talk.

"When did you come out?" Rukia asked insistently. She looked like she was about ready to flip some tables which only meant that she has heard some of the indecent things people have been saying about him and she needed to find a way to take out her anger in a nondestructive way. She should have figured out by now that he didn't come out using his own volition, but she definitely needed to yell about it to someone and who better to complain about to then Ichigo himself.

"It's clearly new to me too." Ichigo said rolling his eyes. "I didn't come out. It's a rumor. Things will settle down if people ever learn that it isn't true."

Rukia growled at Ichigo's nonchalant response. It was obvious that she was irritated with Ichigo's response. She knew that he was acting like it wasn't a big deal for her own sake so that she wouldn't have to worry about him, but that part of Ichigo did wonders to piss her off and Ichigo was well aware of what she was thinking, but he still couldn't help himself. She crumpled her hands into fists, stood on her toes to make up for her short height so that she can at least reach Ichigo's height slightly, and knit her eyebrows together so that hers matched Ichigo's.

"But it is true. You don't have much of a reputation so it will be a lot harder to convince people that you are straight." Rukia fought. She made valid points. The only way he could really clear the rumor was to make himself more well-known and date a girl, two things he wasn't exactly interested in. He missed becoming one of the shadows that walked the school silently excelling in his classes. He was probably going to be valedictorian, but even if he was he would refuse the position so that he wouldn't have to give a speech and leave the school relatively unnoticed.

He took the risk of becoming a tutor and accepting a popular girl to be one of his students just so he can earn a little extra cash. He should have been colder to her so that he wouldn't come off as so lovable. She wouldn't have insisted on him coming to her party to help him lose his virginity that he never told her about. Seriously it was embarrassing enough to see all of her missed messages when he got home asking if he was okay and if the rumors are true. He didn't want to become her friend. He had no intention of making friends at school. Sure he loved Rukia, but she would never do anything to hurt him.

Before Ichigo could say anything the bell rang signaling that it was time for them to head back to class. Ukitake wouldn't be strict on them since they were in class before and Rukia only dragged him out to try and cheer him up. Ichigo let out a sigh that was almost as long as the bell ringing. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other while Rukia turned her head towards the floor. He clicked his tongue and faced the door that lead to the stairway exit. "We should probably head to class. I want this day to be over with already."

Ichigo knew it was going to be a shitty day, but he didn't expect it to be as bad as it was. By lunch time he was hiding in the library. The library was a sacred ground for him. He already read half of the books in the fantasy and sci-fi section and he didn't regret a thing. The best part of the library was that it was silent and only people like him that were passionate about reading ever went there. Even people who also took hard classes just like he did didn't go there, preferring to study at home and not during their lunch period. There he was able to escape the reality of the outside world. Those popular kids stayed out of the library like demons would to a church. The difference was that they were welcome there since the library is for everyone.

It was too bad that Ichigo was reminded of that a little too late. Hovering above him was one of the very people he has been attempting to avoid. He hasn't run into him in years of semi avoiding him yet here he was towering above him as he attempted to sink further into his book, hoping to hide inside which was probably not the best idea since the book that he has picked up off the shelf was _The Shining_ and a horror story wasn't exactly the best book to Blue Skidoo inside of. Still hiding inside of that hotel may have been better than what was about to happen if he stayed there.

"This is where you've been hiding for the past three years?" Grimmjow growled above him yanking the book out of Ichigo's hands not even being considerate enough to place his finger in between the pages so that he wouldn't lose his place. He observed the black book and grimaced at the title. "You know that there is a movie for this right?" He asked like he was proud of himself for recognizing the title of an incredibly famous horror film that was based off of the novel he was holding.

Ichigo frowned and lifted his hand above his head without voicing anything, requesting for Grimmjow to hand his book back. Grimmjow did the exact opposite of oblige, holding the copy of the famous story further away from him so that he could talk to Ichigo without any distractions. He slid in the seat next to him causing the chair to make a small sound while it dragged across the carpeted floor. Ichigo glared at him to make it clear that he wasn't welcome, but he clearly didn't take the hint. It seemed like he could stick his nose where it didn't belong even when he was completely sober not that that was anything new.

"Are those rumors true about you?" Grimmjow asked cutting right to the chase. Ichigo sighed tempted to leave his temple to spend the rest of his lunch period at his other hiding place, but decided against it knowing that Grimmjow would just follow him. So Ichigo decided to indulge him a bit if he knew more then maybe he would finally leave him alone.

"Which ones?" Ichigo asked playing innocent yet not meeting Grimmjow's eyes so that he wouldn't be able to read him. He glanced over at the librarian who seemed too focused on her own book to notice him looking for a way out of that awkward situation. Yet Miss Ise gingerly flipped a page and adjusted her glasses, not paying attention in the slightest to her favorite regular.

"The ones about you being…you know." Grimmjow hesitated at the last second substituting the final word as if saying it would summon Voldemort which only did wonders to Ichigo's depleting patience.

"Say it." Ichigo growled in a low raspy voice that was just an octave higher than being low that he wouldn't be able to hear. "I dare you."

Grimmjow's eyebrows knit together to compete with Ichigo's own. He leaned in closer to Ichigo's face, but didn't take his eyes off of Ichigo's amber ones. "Gay?"

Ichigo smirked. "Yup." He said simply, his facial features not softening to accommodate for the smirk on his face making his expression borderline evil. Surely that was enough to scare him away, right?

Grimmjow's eyes shot upward. "Since when?" Grimmjow exasperated, raising his voice a little too much for a library. Miss Ise shot him an angry glare as an immediate response, but when she noticed him sitting next to Ichigo her expression changed to one of confusion. She looked into Ichigo's eyes and mouthed the words 'what's wrong?' which Ichigo responded to by waving his hand as if to tell her not to worry about it. She hid herself behind her book, raising her eyes right above the pages to spy on the two high schoolers. "I leave you alone for three years and you turn gay."

Ichigo shuttered at the misconception about homosexuality making him turn away from the blue haired tyrant that decided to impose on his quiet life. Miss Ise even heard that one from the background and momentarily gripped her book tighter.

After the initial shock Ichigo's face turned blank displaying a poker face that hopefully Grimmjow wouldn't be able to see past. He may have been very good at reading his thoughts when they were younger, but it has been years now so maybe things have changed. "Grimmjow," Ichigo said flatly, completely void of emotions.

"Seriously, where did this come from?" Grimmjow insisted on running his mouth. Ichigo contained his urge to roll his eyes. "When did you start liking dick?"

Ichigo was at his limit. He gripped the hair above his forehead and lightly let it go making it scrunch into a mess before he rested his hand on his forehead and slowly, almost lazily dragged it down his face. "Okay, I answered your question." Ichigo breathed out quickly checking his phone to see how much time he had left in the day before he could just go home. "Now, can you give me my book back so you can leave and never talk to me again?" Ichigo outstretched his palm, requesting once again for him to have his book back.

"How can you be so calm about this?" Grimmjow growled refusing again to give Ichigo the simple pleasure of his horror story about a homicidal manic terrorizing a family. He was starting to understand the feeling of his bloodthirsty tendency after every word Grimmjow said. Seriously why was this this guy so hell-bent on prying into his life? He should have been scared away by now.

"I've had to deal with it my entire life." Ichigo answered quickly like the faster he answered Grimmjow's questions the faster he would leave him alone. "Just drop it, okay?"

Grimmjow stretched out his legs underneath the table, lightly brushing up against Ichigo's feet momentarily causing Ichigo's legs to feel stiff as a reaction. It seemed like there was no sign of him leaving any time soon. "If you don't want to be bullied then why don't you just be straight?"

Was he really planning on having a full blown conversation about this? "Oh my God, you're a genius!" Ichigo nearly shouted gripping his hair in both of his hands, looking at Grimmjow with wild eyes and his mouth hanging open in mock surprise. "Why don't I just magically start liking girls? That's so simple. In fact, why stop there? What if poor people just stopped being poor? Or how about assholes just start being nice? Oh and maybe you can try saying something smart?" Ichigo exploded in a fit of sarcasm.

Miss Ise's eyes grew at the sight of Ichigo's outburst. Heck the few other regulars in the library found themselves looking over to spectate the show that should have come with playbills. Usually Ichigo was so calm and collected yet here he erupting from something this almost stranger said. Grimmjow blinked a few times to register the words that Ichigo enunciated, taking a while for them to get through his thick skull. His face formed a weird grimace processing the insult that this loser hoisted at him like it was no big deal. Ichigo had guts, that hasn't changed.

"How would you know if you were even gay?" Grimmjow asked. "Have you ever had sex with a girl?" He continued deciding to take pity on his former best friend rather than introduce him to a world of pain.

Ichigo rolled his eyes at Grimmjow's stamina. He definitely had more tolerance to stupidity than he did, but it would make sense that he were immune since he was the source of stupidity in this pointless conversation. He has never talked about his own sexuality so much and he was starting to find it draining. Why would anyone care so much to hear this shit?

"Have you ever eaten insects?" Ichigo asked.

"No, gross." Grimmjow said blinking, not really knowing where that question came from.

"Yeah, that 'gross' you just said is similar how I feel about the idea of sex with women. Eating insects isn't uncommon. In plenty of countries people eat insects every day and even during festivals." Ichigo explained. He could correct Grimmjow and tell him that actually plenty of people eat insects unknowingly since insects tend to be an ingredient in a lot of dyes used for candy, but being a know-it-all would deteriorate his main point. "Guess what also isn't uncommon. Homosexuality."

He really hoped that Grimmjow would get the point eventually. He hung his head downward in exhaustion. He looked at the table right below him. The table was practically asking him to bang his forehead against it so that he could knock himself out so he wouldn't have to continue this stupid conversation.

"Can you please leave me alone now?" Ichigo asked holding his hand out to request his book for the third time.

Grimmjow looked at the book that he was holding seemingly having forgotten that he was holding it, that bastard. He placed it on the table with his hand on top of it so that Ichigo still couldn't get it.

"Why are you so desperate to get rid of me?" Grimmjow asked. His facial features lightened and even though he was looking into Ichigo's eyes his own seemed to hold some sort of sadness. He didn't expect Grimmjow to start crying in the middle of the library, but Ichigo could tell that he was upset with him being shoved away, but what Ichigo took away from those words was the realization that Grimmjow knew he was being shoved away yet he still refused to leave.

"Because we aren't friends," Ichigo explained. "We can't be friends." His words cut like a knife and his eyes crinkled up and his mouth twitched to form a slight frown. If he said those words then even Grimmjow would understand that he is unwanted.

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 **A/N: Remember to review, favorite, and follow to fuel me with motivation to keep working even if I already have plenty.**


	3. Chapter 3

You guys are amazing. I've never felt so motivated to write a story, which is crazy considering how busy I have been. Thank you to the ones who have been leaving reviews.

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Chapter 3

Grimmjow expected today to be just another drowsy Monday. He hated going to the school that he was supposedly the king of. People either loved or feared him, great, but he couldn't exactly enjoy his reign when he spent most of his time in class with a teacher droning on and on about useless shit he doesn't care about.

The day started a bit more interesting than he thought it would though. From the time he entered school he could hear whispering. The whispering was a bit too quiet to hear for a normal person, but he was able to make out one common word from the new hot rumor that has been spreading around like wild fire. He wouldn't care under normal circumstances, but his ears perked up when he heard the name 'Ichigo.' It wasn't exactly a common name and he only knew one person who had it.

He zeroed in on the girls dressed in slutty clothing that were gossiping like they had no other interests but talking about other people that they had no relation to. He has forgotten the girls' names and he wasn't sure if he even knew them to start with, but they definitely knew who he was. Their faces turned red and mouths hung open when he leaned against the beige lockers next to them and requested to join their conversation. As soon as he questioned them they filled him in, excitedly adjusting their jewelry, clothes, and hair nervously while blabbering on hoping to seem attractive enough for them to be blessed with his number or a night spent with him. They may have been granted such pleasures if they didn't tell him something that instantly put him in a bad mood.

Those rumors couldn't have been true. He knew Ichigo his entire life and never once did he get the impression that he was into dick. He thought that he was like him. Maybe he didn't crave pussy as much as he did, but that didn't mean he was gay. Those girls didn't give him any context of where these rumors may have originated from so for all he knew they could have been made up. He told himself that, but he couldn't stop thinking about it.

His classes whooshed by without him retaining a single thing as he continued questioning the Ichigo he thought he knew in his head. He thought back to the times they played video games together or the times Grimmjow has gotten into trouble and Ichigo had to take care of him. The times that Grimmjow used to sneak out in the middle of the night to ride his bike over to Ichigo's and stay with him all night just talking…okay that memory was a little embarrassing so he didn't think about that one for so long. Still during all of those memories he's never gotten the impression that he liked dudes. Playing through his memories again he never got the impression that he liked girls either which only made him more confused.

The bell rang alerting him to go to his next period where he would typically go to the cafeteria to eat lunch. Before he could he went to the bathroom to relieve himself, but he couldn't even do that in peace. Scribbled across the walls in black marker were the words 'Ichigo Kurosaki likes dick' and next to that writing were crude drawings that made Grimmjow's blood boil. No matter where he went or where he looked he kept on being reminded of the orange haired kid that was left as a lost memory. He wished he was reminded of him in a less toxic way that didn't make him want to put a hole in the wall.

The only way he can lower the temperature of his blood was to talk to Ichigo himself and find out how all of this was happening and if all the rumors were true. He needed to know whether Ichigo was normal or not. He didn't see him at school in years so he didn't know exactly where to look for him. He was smart so he was probably in the hallways that held the more difficult classes, but he never so much has seen him in the cafeteria nor was he aware about how someone with such brightly colored hair eluded him for so long.

He didn't even have a clue on where to start looking for him first, but since it was his lunch period he was free to go where he wanted. He wasn't sure if Ichigo was in class or hiding in a bathroom somewhere, but he needed to look for him or else he will never leave his mind. He started with the most obvious place to look even if it was a place he has only stepped foot in once.

He swung the doors open to the library and he easily spotted his old best friend buried in a boring looking book. It didn't exactly look like a textbook or a book that was required for class so that must have meant he was reading it for pleasure. He never understood why Ichigo insisted on spending his time scanning words on a page instead of watching moving pictures on a screen or going to parties where he can actually socially interact with people. He was so lost in it until Grimmjow was standing above him. Without even looking up Ichigo sank into his seat further, his face coming closer to the pages as if he wouldn't recognize him if his face was hidden.

Grimmjow yanked the book away from him which only proved to irritate his ex-best friend. Ichigo looked up at him with his signature scowl on his face. The sight made a small smile tug at his lips as he recognized the expression that used to be his goal to form as a kid.

Grimmjow wanted to question him about who was spreading these rumors and who was bullying him, but the thoughts that has been spiraling in his head seemed to come out first and he found himself shell-shocked to learn that those cruel rumors that were being spread around about him, rumors that he was completely convinced were untrue and just some cruel joke indeed had some fragment of truth. He couldn't believe that someone he has known his entire life was into dudes. Isn't that gross?

The more he talked about it with Ichigo the more he learned that Ichigo wasn't just pulling his leg to try and scare him away. It was clear that he was unwanted, but since when did he ever listen to what Ichigo wanted. So he kept on prying and shoving aside all his efforts to get rid of him while he held Ichigo's beloved book captive. It eventually led to Ichigo saying some pretty rude things. "Because we aren't friends," he said. "We can't be friends." He said. Since when was it Ichigo's decision to decide what Grimmjow can do? He was the king of Karakura High and if he wanted to help his old friend or even rekindle their friendship then that was his decision. All Ichigo could do is pay attention.

"That isn't your decision to make." Grimmjow found himself saying bluntly. Sliding the book off the table and placing it into his black backpack. "I'm going to make it so that everyone stops bullying you and you're going to let me."

Grimmjow threw his bag over his shoulder and Ichigo stared at him in silence with a mixture of irritation and awe. "If you want your beloved book back then you better come to my house after school." He ordered before walking towards the doors of the library leaving Ichigo empty handed. It would have been a smooth powerful exit except that the sensors started to go off at the front of the library alerting that someone was trying to leave with a book that hasn't been checked out yet causing Ichigo roll his eyes. "I didn't take the book out yet, dumbass."

Grimmjow shook his head to hide the small blush on his face that came from the failed dramatic exit. The librarian studied him with a critical eye that was hidden behind glasses as he stomped over to the table at the front and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket to fish out his student ID that he only carried around just because it was a rule. He never had a need to use it until now. He slammed it and the book on the table in front of her rather than politely handing it over. She checked it out painfully slow as if she were teasing him. She studied his ID even though she was well aware that he was a student, examining the photo that looked like a mug shot that he still managed to look attractive in. She handed the book and ID back to Grimmjow politely rather than mimicking his rude manor.

Ichigo watched him take out the book that he was planning on taking with him. He glanced at the librarian who just smiled at him sweetly. Ichigo mouthed some words to her that Grimmjow couldn't make out and she just shrugged in response. It creeped Grimmjow out to know that Ichigo had grown so close to a woman who worked in the school library enough to have some unspoken language with each other. Did he have any other friends? Was Ichigo's case worse than he thought? Grimmjow threw the content in his book bag, not even bothering to put his ID back in its proper place before storming off leaving Ichigo alone at his table in a staring match with the librarian.

The rest of the day continued just like the first half. He couldn't get Ichigo out of his mind, but there were new elements that came from his knowledge. Ichigo was gay. He needed to learn how to accept that. Fine, he didn't agree with Ichigo's preference, but he couldn't sit back and watch him get bullied anymore. He needed a plan. He needed to convince the entire school that Ichigo was straight. Ichigo was a cool guy, attractive and had a smart mouth even if Grimmjow found his preference to be gross. If he wasn't such a bookworm then he would probably be pretty popular. People must have picked up on that which is probably why the rumor about his sexual preference spread so fast.

Grimmjow was left with nothing to do, but hope that Ichigo took the bait and went to his house after school. He didn't mean any harm to him he just wanted his life to be peaceful and maybe catch up with him. He didn't know if Ichigo was happy being away from him, but he doubted it. Who would be happy being away from him? He had it all and everyone wanted to be his friend and then Ichigo let all of that slip through his fingers. It was a good thing that Grimmjow was gracious enough to grant him a second chance, a chance that he kept pushing away. It was too bad for him that he wasn't going to let him pass it up. If Ichigo didn't go to his house willingly after school then he was going to go to his and drag him.

The extra weight in his backpack was a reminder of the words that he and Ichigo exchanged. Ichigo was always good at acting even if Grimmjow had a magic power to be able to see through him. Ichigo said those harsh words, but he seemed like he was sincere and was desperate to get away from him. Why was he so focused on pushing him back? It looked like he would have to find out more after school.

School ended like it normally did. He drove home like he normally did, but he couldn't focus on anything once he got to his house. He tried to watch television, but couldn't focus on any of the words that were said. He paced around and checked his phone for the time. Why didn't he make a set time for when Ichigo came over? Was it okay if he just went over to his house and dragged him over? His thoughts were interrupted when the doorbell finally rang.

Grimmjow smiled cockily when he opened the front door of his house and viewed his childhood best friend standing right in front of him gripping one of his arms that rested in front of him with his head down not willing to look up. It was a familiar sight since Ichigo was a small kid. When he was younger he was especially shy around Grimmjow's parents despite them being so friendly towards him so it was common to see him in that timid posture when he opened the door. Eventually Ichigo grew more comfortable around his parents, but seeing Ichigo stand like that reminded him that he was the same person that he has spent most of his life with. Either Ichigo really wanted that book that Grimmjow took out at the library or he really couldn't keep away from Grimmjow in the end.

Grimmjow opened the door wider allowing Ichigo to step in. Grimmjow suppressed his childish urge to tackle Ichigo in a hug or jump up and down like a child who was really excited to start his play date like he may have done way in the past. He didn't realize how much he missed Ichigo's presence until he was standing inside of his house, kicking his shoes off at the front even though there was no rule in his household about doing so and walking over to the living room and dropping his bag on the couch. It felt natural. He hasn't stood in his house for three years, but Ichigo seemed to have instinctively done what he usually did when he came to visit him.

Ichigo sat down at the long kitchen table arms crossed in front of him with his chin resting on top, his legs underneath the chair toeing the carpeted floor his facial expression was relaxed like he was tired or he felt comfortable in Grimmjow's home despite being away for a long time. He sat there silently waiting for Grimmjow to sit in front of him so that he could speak first. He sat in his usual seat in front of him, noting how he even sat in the chair he used to sit in when he came over for dinner.

Grimmjow groped around in his mind for the right words to say as Ichigo studied him, waiting, expecting something from him. Then it registered. He didn't have a plan. Why did he invite Ichigo over again? He even rented a book out in the library to use it as bait to make him come over. What was he even doing when he was pacing around the room or going through the day with the only thoughts in his mind relating to the guy sitting right in front of him? He decided to just wing it.

"So Ichi, I thought of a way to stop people from spreading the rumor or bullying you." Grimmjow started. It wasn't a complete lie. He was playing with some ideas throughout the school day, but he never really thought about actually perusing them.

Ichigo lifted his head slightly from off the table so that he was able to talk yet he didn't say anything. He just waited for Grimmjow to continue. He hasn't said anything since he came here, not even a greeting, cocky bastard.

"We just need to convince everyone that you are straight." Grimmjow suggested. He expected a positive response from Ichigo, but it didn't seem to invoke any sort of reaction from him. So he decided to go into a bit more detail of his improvised plan. "I'm not sure if you have noticed or not, but I am pretty popular. I'm bound to have a friend that is willing to pretend to be your girlfriend." Grimmjow hasn't brought up the idea to any of his friends, but he was pretty sure that Nel would be more than willing to help him out if he asked nicely.

Ichigo sighed and rubbed one of his fingers over the back of his other hand. "I'm aware of your social standing Grimmjow." Ichigo said practically through his teeth, not making eye contact with him and not using the nickname he used to call him when they were children taking away any air of familiarity. "But I'm not interested. I'm a wallflower and wallflowers are boring to mess with. I won't cry nor retaliate. They will get bored of me within a week if you leave me alone and I won't have to owe you any favors." Ichigo responded to him as if Grimmjow was trying to make a deal with him that he wasn't planning on taking. Why was it so hard for him to take his offer? He could help him and he wasn't exactly planning on getting something in return. Okay, maybe he wanted Ichigo to come over more often. He missed his company and he was one of the only friends he has ever had that he actually felt comfortable talking to about real shit.

"Why can't you trust me?" Grimmjow pressed leaning a bit over the table to get closer to the guy sitting opposite him.

"Why should I?" Ichigo retaliated. "We haven't spoken to each other in three years. I'm practically a stranger to you." Ichigo's feet shifted so that they were flush against the floor in front of him and he leaned in further, challenging Grimmjow.

"No you aren't." Grimmjow argued practically spitting, his eyebrows scrunching together, palms flat against the table as he rose to his feet to lean even closer to Ichigo. "Just because we haven't talked in three years doesn't mean that I dislike you. You haven't exactly spoken to me either and you're the one pushing me away so you don't get to act like the victim."

Ichigo's eyes softened and he retreated. His feet swung back under his chair and he leaned back slowly receding so that his frame hit the back of the chair. He looked away from Grimmjow like the corner of the table was far more interesting than Grimmjow's eyes that were probing into him, tearing him apart to figure him out, but Grimmjow wasn't finished talking yet.

"Seriously, what made you disappear? You never text me and you don't even say hi to me when we do see each other at school eventually I stopped seeing you all together." Grimmjow ranted making Ichigo cringe and squirm from the glare of his watchful eyes. "Please tell me why you have been avoiding me." He threw his hands up in the air at his last request making Ichigo flinch like he expected him to be hit.

There was a moment of silence between them. Grimmjow's gaze never left Ichigo's retreated figure that still refused to look at him. He bit the bottom of his lips like his teeth were the thing that was keeping him from spilling everything and his eyes shifted to look at everything but Grimmjow.

Grimmjow sighed and he got up. Ichigo flinched again and scooted his chair away from him. He tried not to take offence by the smaller man's subtle attempt to stay at a distance away from him. He purposefully walked towards him stopping right in front of him. He squatted slightly so that their eyes were level. Ichigo's eyes shot to him in response to their now small gap between them before he quickly turned his head away from him.

"Come on Ichi." Grimmjow said lightly, almost like a hum that can barely be heard unless one purposefully listened for it or one were only a few inches away from him. "There has to be a reason."

Ichigo was silent for another second before he responded in a voice that competed with Grimmjow's in terms of quietness. "You aren't going to like it so forget about it." He whispered still refusing to meet his eyes.

Grimmjow's eyebrow perked up, semi excited that he was able to finally get some kind of response from the reluctant male that hinted at opening up. This was the first time Ichigo has implied that he would actually tell him stuff that he isn't sure is safe to say out loud. Before he was trying to scare him away when he came out about his homosexuality and he argued like the feisty Ichigo that he used to know and now he was hesitating whether or not he should come out to him about a secret just like he used to. It felt nostalgic and actually pleasant. He was acting like they were friends again, telling each other secrets that they didn't feel safe saying to anyone else.

"Try me." Grimmjow said vowing in his mind that he was going to accept anything that Ichigo said without holding anything against him if the answer was reasonable. He watched Ichigo expectantly waiting for him to feel comfortable enough to come clean about his avoidance and his particularly cold shoulder.

Ichigo mumbled something under his breath that Grimmjow couldn't make out despite their incredibly close distance. Ichigo's ears turned slightly red and he turned away.

"What?" Grimmjow asked simply causing Ichigo to gasp when he realized that he had to say it again. Grimmjow shoved his ear practically in Ichigo's face so even Ichigo's breathing was audible to him. Ichigo back away instinctively so that his ear wouldn't threaten to brush up against his lips.

"I said that I used to have a crush on you." Ichigo responded in a monotone voice that was clearly audible this time. His face was now bright red and he couldn't meet his former best friend in the eye. His mouth formed a grimace, sucking his lips into his mouth so that they formed a thin line.

Grimmjow jolted away with his own small blush on his face, his heart skipping a beat at the words. "What?" He asked again, but this time for different reasons. His face was directed towards Ichigo studying any evidence that he was bullshitting him, but he couldn't find any. The view that filled his perception was Ichigo's bright pink face that seemed to have heat resonating off of it.

"Please don't make me say it again." Ichigo begged squeezing his eyes shut his body leaning as far away from Grimmjow as possible without having the chair that he was sitting on tip over.

"Since when?" Grimmjow asked, his mouth hanging open asking the question faster as if the quicker he got his words out the faster he would have all the answers. "When did this happen?"

Ichigo refused to meet his eye, but he answered with less hesitation in his voice then his first confession. "I don't know." He admitted. "I think it started around middle school and it confused me back then since I haven't exactly come to terms that I was gay yet. After that I was ashamed so I had a hard time talking to you and it wasn't like you made any efforts to talk to me either."

Grimmjow was silent for a few minutes as he processed the information. It was hard for him to fully believe that his old best friend was into dick. He reminded himself over and over in his head that Ichigo himself admitted that he was a homo, but it hasn't fully registered until Ichigo confessed that he used to have feelings for him.

"Do you still-?" Grimmjow started to ask before getting cut off.

"Oh God no," Ichigo responded quickly, not allowing Grimmjow to finish his question. He answered without even putting too much thought into it. "I have enough self-respect to not fall for an asshole."

Grimmjow's heart sank from hearing Ichigo's true feelings. He didn't know why it hurt so much to hear him say that probably because he hated to hear Ichigo coming out about how he now viewed him. Maybe Grimmjow wasn't exactly the nicest guy, but he never did anything to him to intentionally hurt him. All he wanted to do was help and maybe even reenter his life.

"Now that you know my secret can you please leave me alone?" Ichigo asked.

Grimmjow caught himself grimacing at Ichigo's last question. Was this guy seriously still trying to push him away? He told him why he was avoiding him for the past three years and he already admitted that he didn't like him anymore so there was nothing to be embarrassed about now.

"I just need to make it through one more year of high school with no more drama." Ichigo admitted. "I can't do that if you keep hanging around me."

"No way in hell." Grimmjow growled. Ichigo's reason for running away was stupid and not allowing him to help was only going to end up hurting him so he was going to keep pushing. "I'm not going to sit back and watch you get bullied." Grimmjow said narrowing his eyes.

Ichigo sighed, crinkled his eyebrows, and clicked his tongue. "Looks like you're going to have to." He said sliding the chair back away from Grimmjow to give him some space to get up without making any physical contact to the ex-jock that was still squatting in front of him.

Ichigo walked back to the front door grabbing his bag on the way. He slid his shoes on and looked back at Grimmjow who followed him slowly. "If that's all you wanted to do then I'm going to have to ask you to stay out of it." Ichigo said opening the door that led outside. "Please avoid talking to me unless you have to. I really can't deal with any extra attention." He said right before slipping through the door and closing it lightly behind him.

Grimmjow watched him leave from the window. Ichigo didn't seem to have a car or a bike for that matter, going home by foot. If Ichigo needed it he could have given him a ride. It would have given him an excuse to talk with him longer, maybe even make his car smell like him a little, a familiar, innocent that came from his childhood. Ichigo was the same person he was back then, strong, unwavering eyes, his usual confident voice becoming vulnerable only in front of him, and comforting smell that he can recognize at first whiff.

There was no way he was going to lose his friend over something stupid and there was no way he was going to allow him to get hurt by anyone. It was his job to protect him. Just because he took a small break doesn't mean that he quit. Grimmjow crinkled his forehead, reached into his back pocket, and pulled out his phone. He clicked around on the screen a little before holding the device to his ear.

"Hey Nel, I'm going to need a favor."

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 **A/N: Reviews=Motivation. The more reviews I get the more motivation I have to write. The more I write the more chapters I'll have to post. The more I post the faster you read. It's pretty simple and everyone will be happy.**


	4. Chapter 4

That wasn't too long of a wait right? I don't know I lost all track of time. I've been busy lately, but I was able to make some time for editing. Enjoy the next chapter.

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Chapter 4

Common sense has been eluding Ichigo more and more often lately. He knew better, but he couldn't turn down a challenge. Grimmjow checking out the book he wanted was the equivalent of him taunting him to come through. Even the librarian, Nanao Ise recognized it as she wore a self-satisfied smile as she watched Grimmjow storm out of the library causing a way larger commotion than necessary. It was a library. Even if he made a small commotion he would have been heard.

Ichigo shot her a glare and she held her hands up in self-defense with a small smirk. "He seems like a real charmer." She commented out loud, making the sarcasm in her tone apparent. "I wonder if he realized that we have two copies of _The Shining._ " She said mostly to Ichigo then to herself. Ichigo knew that she was letting him know about the extra copy for him. She wanted to see if he was going to take out the other copy or follow through with Grimmjow's challenge.

It took a lot to get Nanao's interest. She tended to be strict and only really loved the students who became regulars at the library who appreciate books as much as she does. Ichigo was defiantly one of her favorites, enough to tell him to call her by her first name. Ichigo found it weird at first, but then he couldn't help seeing her as a parental figure or at least see her as a big sister.

Ichigo huffed out a hot breath and marched over to the book shelf, scanning through the other thrillers and picking out the title under Stephen King's name. He marched right back over to where Nanao was sitting and handed the book over to her and his student ID.

Nanao looked over at him unconvinced. She knew him for a long time. He has hid in the library during his lunch period for years and he even spent time there after school sometimes so she had plenty of time to get to know him. She knew that he was hardheaded and had a soft spot for books. She was also very well aware how competitive he could be so she knew that this wasn't going to be some exception and Ichigo knew that she was unconvinced with the bullshit that he was showing her. Did everyone know how to read him or was someone supplying lessons?

She asked him one time why he always came to the library instead of actually eating lunch like a normal high school student and he admitted that he always went to the cafeteria the first day of school and he would see that he shares the same lunch period with someone he was trying to avoid. Oddly enough that very person he was trying to avoid took out _The Shining_ prior to Ichigo. She probably figured that out by the way Ichigo acted when they shared the same room. It was clear that there was some discomfort that made Ichigo act unlike his usual quiet character to reveal something that only one person can draw out.

Unlike Grimmjow's day the rest of Ichigo's came too fast. Before he knew it he was faced with the decision of whether or not he was going to follow through with Grimmjow's challenge. He had the book he wanted to take out already in his bag so he didn't need to worry about taking Grimmjow's copy. So the real question was whether or not he actually wanted to go. The answer was obvious except for the fact it was embarrassing.

He rang the doorbell to a house that was in the opposite direction of his own. He could have asked Grimmjow for a ride afterschool, but there was no way he was going to ask any favors from that bastard. This was just another chance to push him away, hopefully make Grimmjow not want to see him anymore.

As expected Grimmjow opened the door with a cocky smile stretched across his face. He must have thought that he was able to get Ichigo over there by exploiting his weakness, leaving him no choice but to come over. It was the better alternative than letting him know that he came over willingly even if it wasn't too great of an option.

He refused to give him a friendly greeting when Grimmjow gave him enough space to enter his familiar household. Even though the he hasn't been there in years he did his usual ritual as if it were mundane. It was worked into his memory so it was practically second nature. He found himself sitting and waiting for Grimmjow to fill him in on why he requested for him to be there. Then he filled him in with his stupid plan which Ichigo reacted to negatively. Seriously, why should he start overcompensating now? It's not like anyone would care more or less if he pretended to be straight. Everyone would have forgotten about him in a week.

Ichigo was telling the truth. Things would have been better off if Grimmjow left him alone. He didn't need the extra attention. He was fine being a shadow of the school where no one knew him. The rumor being said about him was a minor setback from his ideal peaceful graduation but it would disperse when nothing interesting really came from it. He tried to push away, but Grimmjow kept on coming on stronger, making things even harder for him. Then he started to investigate him on why he was avoiding him he had him figured out.

He already had a hard time keeping things a secret from the blue haired asshole; it was one of his weaknesses. So in a last ditch effort for trying to push him away, maybe even making him scared of him he told him the truth. It seemed to have backfired on him though. Rather than coming on strong Grimmjow was reacquainted with his shyer and more vulnerable side and just like when they were younger Grimmjow wouldn't back off. Ichigo reminded him the reasons why he should have kept away and then practically ran from his house beating himself up the entire time as he grabbed his bag, put his shoes on, and headed out the door.

It wasn't halfway through his walk that he realized that he should have taken the book back from Grimmjow. He thought about turning back so that he could maybe convince him that the real reason why he went to his house was to get it, but it would be like reentering a warzone. He could end up getting his own head blown off if he went back. There was no way that Grimmjow was going to let him leave a second time.

The Ichigo from three years ago would have probably gone back. He would have got the thing that he has forgotten at his house which only extended their time together for a few hours which later would result in him coming home late and getting lectured by his father. He had a hard time leaving Grimmjow's house back then, but right now he couldn't bear being there for another minute. If he stayed there any longer he would have fallen back into his old habits. He already reverted back to his old self back then, telling Grimmjow his secrets without any thought on how it could hurt him in the future. If he went back then he wouldn't be able to leave and he would end up reverting back to his old self that he tried so hard to get rid of.

Ichigo didn't believe in any gods, but that night he prayed to every god that he could think of from every religion that he knew about for a peaceful day at school the next day. He prayed that the news about his homosexuality would die down and people would lose interest. He prayed that Grimmjow would actually take his advice and stay away from him, but mostly he prayed that his old crush on his ex-best friend won't resurface.

He was reminded again why he didn't believe in religion that morning. More hate mail fluttered out of his locker landing at his feet. He sighed, picking it up and tossing it into the trash, ignoring the boys standing by it mocking him by making kissy sounds. The hate mail was bearable. The high schoolers acting like grade schoolers were bearable. The hot girl with teal hair wearing a crop top standing next to his locker with a big smile on her face waving at him like she was excited to see him, yeah, that one was unbearable.

Ichigo looked over his shoulder to see if the 'Ichi' she was referring to was actually him, but no one else responded to her calls. Actually, that wasn't entirely true. People were responding alright. Guys were muttering about a certain 'lucky bastard' and others looked at him with their heads cocked to the side as they questioned the rumor they heard about him.

He hesitantly walked over; trying his best not to trip over his own feet or anyone else's feet who were putting up an effort to make him fall flat on his face.

"Hi?" He asked questioning the girl he recognized, but couldn't place a name on. He didn't have a lot of time to react though. She smiled at him sweetly and planted a sweet chaste kiss on his cheek which caused him to blush instinctively. Before pulling away she leaned close to his ear and whispered an introduction.

"Hi, I'm Nel. I'll be your fake girlfriend for as long as you need me. Please treat me kindly." She said in a sweet voice which made it seem like destroying Ichigo's normal life was a game to her.

Ichigo jolted away, nearly hitting his head against hers. Her smile never left her face as she dodged his unintentional attack like a ninja. Ichigo whipped his head from left to right noticing the people staring at them, the jealous glances, the whispering, those are exactly the things that he _didn't_ want to happen.

Ichigo leaned close by himself and Nel cocked her head to the side cutely, studying his actions with her big brown eyes. "Did Grimmjow put you up to this?" He asked under his breath in a low whisper. It wasn't even first period yet and he was already so tired. The nearly empty hallway started to fill up with people as first period drew nearer and curious onlookers continued to watch to see who the apparently famous Nel did next to the rumored gay loser.

"Yup!" She answered excitedly like a child who was proud to know the answer to a difficult question in class. She leaned in closer to Ichigo and whispered so that her breath would make contact with his lips. "So don't freak out about this, okay?"

Ichigo didn't have time to question what she meant by that statement before she closed the gap between their lips. If Ichigo wasn't sure he was gay before that kiss with Nel was all he needed to push away any suspicions. Her kiss felt wrong, not because she did it without asking him first, but because it felt unnatural, like they shouldn't belong there. There was no love behind it only amusement, making the kiss feel misguided even if he were to pretend that it wasn't a girl kissing him. It made his palms sweat, his head spin, and his stomach hurt. He wanted to take it back, tell her to leave him alone before she was able to do anything.

Ichigo resisted every instinct in his body that told him to pull away. He knew that this shouldn't have been happening and everything would have been better if Grimmjow just decided to leave him alone. It would have been better, but it already happened. Grimmjow insisted on inserting himself into his life so now he had to learn how to play with the cards he was dealt even if he was internally screaming for having his first kiss stolen from him.

Her hair tickled his shoulders and left them tingling when she pulled away when the warning bell rang alerting everyone that class was going to start in five minutes. She hopped away with her arms behind her back and smiled sweetly swaying to one side examining the blush that was left on Ichigo's face.

"I'll see you at lunch, Ichi." She said before waving and then trotting away. Ichigo's face was stuck completely in awe as he registered what just happened. A bunch of people were staring at him and he needed to shake his head so that he could remember where he was. He considered skipping class and going to the nurse's office instead. It wouldn't be a complete lie that he was feeling sick, but he knew he needed to act normally and hiding in the nurse's office wasn't exactly the most normal thing he could do. It was also hard for him to skip Mr. Ukitake's class. He wouldn't be happy with himself if he missed his daily dose of hottest teacher in the school.

As soon as he sat down Rukia noticed something was off. Ichigo hasn't noticed that his skin was paler by the time he has gotten to class, but he just brushed her off and told her not to worry about it. He assumed it was from the shock of being kissed. He didn't expect his day to start like that and he already feared for how it was going to continue or where he will end up by the end. He opened up his bag and noticed the small pink book inside. The sight of it made him smile. A gift from his favorite teacher that has wiped away the crush he used to have on Grimmjow and reminded him that he was worth something so he should aim higher than some asshole.

Apparently there were some gods that took pity on him that day. As he shacked up in the library now gingerly holding the copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ that Mr. Ukitake lent him instead of the horror story that he rented out the day before. The book reminded him of Grimmjow and he didn't need to be reminded of his failure last night that only became truly evident that morning.

He sat down and opened the book to indulge himself in the familiar tale that he has heard over and over again since he was a child. As if he were summoned from the book Mr. Ukitake pranced right through the front doors of the library, his snow white hair that traveled a mile down his back swayed behind him. He had a small smile on his face as if he were coming home. He spotted Ichigo attentively reading the play he has lent him and the smile on his face grew wider as he approached the table that he was sitting at.

"I hope things are looking up for you, Ichigo." He said observing the book that Ichigo was holding delicately in his hands as if it were a baby bird that can get hurt if he applied anymore pressure. "I always flip through Shakespeare when there is something on my mind and I need a distraction."

Ichigo smiled at him lightly, enjoying the polite company that contradicted to the unwelcome company that he received the other day. His smile was too dim to match the smile that his favorite teacher had which managed to light up the entire room. He didn't smile often since he was known for being intimidating, but he couldn't help his expression from softening at the sight of his favorite teacher who made his heartbeat irregular.

Ichigo pointed out some specific lines that he has not noticed before, taking Mr. Ukitake's advice to look for things he hasn't noticed before in the story. He captured his teacher's attention that gingerly took the book out of Ichigo's hands and pointed to his favorite line in the scene that Ichigo was on. Ichigo was happy that he was viewed highly by such an intelligent man who loved books as much as he did and appreciated all kinds of literature. He couldn't stop himself from blushing at the next line that Ukitake pointed out to him that talked about Romeo's undying love for Juliet.

They could have continued on like this, getting lost in the story and enjoying the company, losing track of time, but that ended when the door swung open revealing a plenty pissed off Grimmjow. He stomped over to Ichigo's table, knocking Ichigo and Ukitake out of their admiration for the classic tale in the form of a play. He pulled back the seat Ichigo was in causing Ichigo to yelp as a response and jolt forwards instinctively glaring back at the person who surprised him, but Grimmjow was unphased by the aggressive reaction.

"We were supposed to meet up for lunch." Grimmjow glowered gripping Ichigo by the shoulder. "Quit running away."

Ukitake blinked a couple of times in confusion at the sight of the student he has never met before tilting his head and observing his interactions with his favorite student. He observed the tall loud student before smiling and inserting himself into their one-sided conversation that looked more like a scolding. "Oh, are you Ichigo's boyfriend?"

Ichigo's skin grew pale and his mouth hung open in complete and utter shock. "N-no sir, he's just an idiot that has been harassing me lately."

Grimmjow growled at Ichigo's description of him which caused the teacher to laugh at what seemed like a light hearted conversation. "Sorry if I misunderstood your relationship. It just looks like you two get along really well."

He peeked at his watch and gasped as he realized just how much time he has spent in the library talking to one of his brightest students. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly as he explained that he lost track of time. He paced to the nonfiction section of the library and quickly returned with a book, bringing it to Nanao and checking it out relatively quickly despite the quick conversation he had with her. He turned around and waved to Ichigo and his mistaken friend before leaving them behind.

Ichigo slumped forward in his seat and sighed, dragging the book across the table in front of him. Ichigo rested his head on his hand as he stared at the door his teacher walked through. Grimmjow's lips immediately grimaced when he recognized the star struck look in the other's eyes.

"Wait, you don't have a crush on that guy do you?" Grimmjow asked slowly, trying the words out in his mouth while asked the question. He glanced over at Ichigo who had a small blush on his cheeks despite the rest of his expression not projecting any evidence of that nature.

"So what if I do. It's none of your business." Ichigo stated glaring at Grimmjow who has been grimacing and discriminating against him during the small exchange.

"Dude, he's ancient." Grimmjow groaned, closing his hands to form fists, forming a more confident argument. "He's like 30 and that's not even mentioning the fact that he is a guy."

Ichigo rolled his eyes annoyed that he is going to have to remind his ex-friend again of a fact that he has been rejecting. "Maybe you have forgotten that _I am gay._ " Ichigo annunciated each syllable of the reminder so that he could truly beat it into his blue head. "Also he looks incredibly good and I am almost of legal age." Ichigo said feeling the need to add that multiple reasons to justify his crush as healthy.

"Yeah whatever, I just hope you realize that not everyone is a homo like you." Grimmjow grumbled, taking Ichigo by the wrist to lead him towards the doors of the library. The words hit Ichigo hard causing Ichigo's eyes to greet the floor as Grimmjow lead him out of the library. "Not to mention I am working hard to convince everyone that you aren't one so you better bury that shit and quit ogling over some old dude."

Ichigo ripped his wrist out of Grimmjow's grip and glared at him. "I didn't ask for you to do that." Ichigo said feeling the need to remind him that he had no control over what Grimmjow was putting him through nor did he give him his consent. "Hell, I specifically told you to leave me alone."

Ichigo could practically hear Grimmjow's teeth scraping together as he looked back at the guy who broke contact with him. "Yeah, well I told you that it wasn't your decision to make. I'm gonna help you whether you like it or not."

Ichigo sighed. There was no getting through to him. Once Grimmjow set his mind to something there was no way he was going to change it especially if he believes that he is truly doing something good. Usually Ichigo was left at the other end of it with him fearing that Grimmjow will end up getting hurt like that one time Ichigo sprained his ankle when they were kids and Grimmjow gave him a piggyback ride back home instead of taking him back to his house that was closer and where his parents were that could have given him a ride home.

Ichigo followed Grimmjow through the doors of the cafeteria, a giant clusterfuck of people and cliques in one space that he has avoided since the first day of high school. Every year he has been given a lunch period and everyday he has spent it the same way, hiding in the library buried in a good book. His feet went cold as he followed the taller teenager into the hall. People's eyes followed him as he trailed behind Grimmjow who just walked through the dining hall with an air of unwavering confidence. It must be nice being the most powerful student in the school, but unlike him people didn't recognize him despite him having features that were memorable, his bright orange hair that spiked up naturally, his long strides, his lean body, his air of confidence despite feeling the complete opposite. There were whispering, probably a mixture of the rumor about him being gay and the rumor about him dating the hottest girl in the school.

Grimmjow lead him to the back of the cafeteria where a bunch of other attractive people sat and ate. Among them were those two jocks that shoved him in the closet as well as their little minion. They glanced at Ichigo before swiftly turning back to their food. Nnoitra had the guts to sneak another glance which soon filled into a spiteful glare when Nel wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. Nel was giant for a girl, even taller than Ichigo so it was easy for her to overwhelm him as he cradled him in a fashion where his face was practically in his chest.

To onlookers he looked like some bastard who had the privilege of dating one of the most striking beauties in the school that should count his lucky stars while he was trapped in that suffocating hug by someone who should really consider working as a model. The problem was that this was Ichigo. Ichigo felt anything but lucky as this girl who was a complete stranger to him crushed him in a hug and nearly suffocated him against her chest. He had to brace himself against his arms to keep him from falling or maybe even to prevent his back from breaking. Then there was that asshole Grimmjow who just seemed to look on in amusement as he observed his silent suffering that he was able to read like a book, one that he didn't mind picking up despite him preferring to watch television.

Nel lead him to a seat in between her and Grimmjow so that he was sandwiched in between two people who were totally on board with the plan of convincing everyone that he was straight. A plan, he himself wasn't on board with. The people that he was in the middle of were taller than him making him feel small and like he didn't belong. It didn't help that he was slouching further and further to try to keep himself from being recognized. So this was the sacred 'cool table?' It didn't exactly grant him the gift of confidence or belonging rather it reminded him over and over again of the mess that he was in. He could practically hear the ghost of the library trying to call him back.

He couldn't even bring himself to buy food, afraid of drawing more attention to himself so he just opted to staying seated and hoping that no one would notice him. It was fine he never ate during his lunch period anyway and his stomach hurt so he didn't want to know what the school's greasy food would do to him.

He wished everyone would leave him alone, but Nel and Grimmjow wouldn't let him have any rest, giving him plenty of attention. "So basically you're coming to my house again after school and no you do not have a choice." Grimmjow said swinging his slice of pizza around that was already there when they sat down. He probably bought it before he noticed Ichigo ditching and ran to get him. It warmed Ichigo's heart in a weird way that Grimmjow dropped everything to go get him, but it shouldn't be encouraged since he wasn't exactly a willing party. "Just make sure to meet me in the parking lot so that you don't have to walk." Grimmjow commented. "Oh yeah, and you better not try to run away. Seriously, I know where you live."

Ichigo sighed and glanced over at Nel who cocked her head cutely to the side. Her big brown eyes filled with sympathy. There was no need for her to give him any since she was allowed to leave whenever she wanted. If he really cared about his comfort then he would have left him alone, but looking at her was enough to give him the hint that he didn't exactly have a choice.

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 **A/N: I may be busy, but reviews keep me motivated. Review to give me a helping hand.**


	5. Chapter 5

I've gotta admit that this story is probably the most fun to write out of all the other stories I've written. I hope you are enjoying it too, but you can do me a solid by giving me some suggestions on how to write this better.

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Chapter 5

That homo was not allowed to run away from Grimmjow. He bought his food as soon as he entered the cafeteria before he remembered that he was meant to spend the period with Ichigo that day and the guy never even bothered to show his face. Nel has already given him a little surprise that morning. She made sure to tell him the tale and all its dirty details after which caused a smile to stretch across Grimmjow's face as he imagined his flustered reactions when he realized that he wasn't the one making the decisions. Nel told him to meet her for lunch, but he still hasn't shown up which could only mean that he was planning on ditching.

He placed his food on the table in front of where he usually sits and left Nel behind without saying a word about where he was going. She pouted her lips out as she followed his back while he walked through the double doors that lead into the hallway. He made a quick turn and walked down the long halls to throw open the door to the library for the second time that week to see the very guy who stood them up gingerly talking to a teacher, _a teacher._ How much more of a loser could he be for getting along so well with a teacher? It was a good thing that Grimmjow got a hold of him in time. If he continued doing what he was doing some other weird rumors would catch up to him eventually and he would truly be a social outcast. At the moment Ichigo was just a loner that everyone left alone. If he continued down that path then people wouldn't leave him alone and they would make his life a living hell.

He barged right in and grabbed a hold of Ichigo's chair getting a less than friendly reaction from him. Grimmjow was irritated enough by the fact that Ichigo was ditching so he could have been in a better mood when he reminded him that they were supposed to meet up. To make matters worse that teacher assumed that he and Ichigo were dating, like what the fuck? He wasn't some homo. Then to make matters worse Ichigo had to get all flustered and acted like dating him would have been the worst thing in the world. Seriously, he was right there and he actually had the nerve to say that what Grimmjow was doing was harassment. He should have been grateful for saving his ass. He has known Ichigo his entire life and he knew just how naïve he could be. He better not take anything for granted so if he didn't want to be labeled as 'that socially awkward kid' then he better step it up.

That teacher with the obnoxiously long hair left after he realized that he has been there for too long, probably spending way too much time with Ichigo then it should be socially acceptable. He was leaving, great. It would have been even better if Ichigo wasn't staring after him, following his every move. Grimmjow couldn't stop himself from asking if he had a crush on a _freaking teacher._ Seriously they were pouring over a book together; dangerously close, so close that they could probably feel each other's breath. So if he ended up acting on that then things could have become even more dangerous. What was so great about that teacher anyway? Sure he looked young, had a smooth gentle voice, and seemed to have shared Ichigo's lame love for books, but there was no way he could have been more attractive than him. Seriously why did Ichigo act so grossed out at the idea of Grimmjow being his boyfriend yet he didn't bat a freaking eyelash at this guy being so close to him? Didn't he used to have a crush on him? Why was he so focused on that now? Shouldn't he be dragging his ass to the cafeteria instead of spending his entire lunch period in a freaking library?

Grimmjow did just that as well as reminded Ichigo just about everything he was doing wrong while he lead Ichigo down the hallway and down the dining hall which has been flooded with students already enjoying their one period of downtime. People stared at him as always, he was eye catching and everyone was aware of who held the most power in the school. There was definitely stares on the person who trailed after him, wondering who the king decided to take under his wing and if that guy was truly dating the famous and beautiful Nelliel. He even caught a few guys who usually sat with them for lunch sharing their own glares at Grimmjow's supposed new right hand man.

The difference between Grimmjow and Nnoitra who felt the need to show his displeasure towards the orange haired new kid was that Grimmjow wasn't planning on making Ichigo his bitch like how Nnoitra treated Tesra. Grimmjow may have been an asshole, but he was classy. He didn't just get to where he was with his money, looks, and power, but he got there because of the air he carried. He didn't need an underling to assert his power. He didn't need to put anyone down because he was already looking so far down on others that there was no need to push them further. He didn't need to be a jock to be popular. Playing football was such a bother anyway. It was too easy and the team relied on him too much which only made things more irritating. Grimmjow only cared about himself and he only chose to give the gift of his charity to only a few people and they had to be damn special or he had to have done something pretty bad to them.

He felt so much more self-satisfied seeing Ichigo get harassed by his best friend. He could practically hear Nnoitra's teeth grinding together and his rapid tapping on the table wasn't enough to bother him. Yeah, he knew that he had a crush on Nel and he also knew that Nel wouldn't give him the time of day even if they all were supposedly in the same friend group.

He just sat back and enjoyed the fact that Ichigo was not enjoying himself in the least. That's what he deserved for trying to go to the library instead of spending the period at their table when he was blessed with the opportunity. He seriously needed to learn to do as he was told so that he wouldn't end up getting punished like this even if he would have probably been treated the same if he came willingly.

Grimmjow shoved the pizza in his face to make up for the lost time that was taken from him when he went to hunt down a reluctant nerd. He didn't need to eat since he usually ate when he got home, but it helped him get through the day. This was a social setting after all, something that Ichigo didn't seem to grasp. Seriously why wasn't he talking?

He turned to Nel and nodded. Ichigo needed some training. Everything was kind of thrown at him and he shouldn't be blamed for being a bit confused, but damn he should at least learn how to follow directions. He could try to act at least a little normal. He would need to take him aside and give him some proper lessons, something that Nel could help him with. He couldn't do it here though leaving his house as the alternative.

He told Ichigo to come over to his house after school, but if it was from Grimmjow it was an order and Ichigo wasn't allowed to refuse, something that Grimmjow felt the need to remind him. Ichigo didn't respond, but he seemed to get the message especially after he reminded him that he knew where he lived. There was no way Grimmjow was going to let him push him away anymore. He could try, but he will only keep coming back stronger.

The rest of the day breezed by without any more problems, not that anything bad really happened to Grimmjow while he was at school in the first place. He moved from day to day in bliss. It would be right for him to share this happiness with his childhood best friend so that he could experience the same thing after the truth about his homosexuality was properly buried.

Grimmjow waited in the parking lot leaning against his beloved Hyundai Sonata. The weather wasn't terrible yet since it was barely autumn, but he wasn't a fan of waiting. It didn't take too long for him to spot his best friend bouncing towards him dragging behind her his new subject. A smirk formed on Grimmjow's face as he lifted himself off of the car and strolled over to the driver's side, tracing his fingers across the smooth metal of his car without bothering to greet them.

Ichigo walked towards the back. He tugged at the door to realize that it was lock. Nel giggled and pushed Ichigo towards the passenger seat. "Looks like Grimmy wants you in the girlfriend seat." She joked opening the door for him, insisting he sits up front.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes it was an honest mistake that he didn't unlock the backdoors. He wasn't used to having more than one passenger in the car. If he hung out at his house after school it would usually be with Nel or with his girlfriend at the moment. Still Nel wouldn't ever miss a chance to tease him. She was the only one in the school that wasn't afraid to annoy him. They were practically equals. He was the most popular guy in school and she was the most popular girl, the king and queen. There were rumors before about the two of them dating, but those tend to be dispelled pretty quickly.

Ichigo checked his phone and quickly typed up a message before placing it back in his pocket, looking at anything, but Grimmjow or his captor that dragged him there. He crossed his arms and looked out the window with a small pout on his lips making it very clear that it wasn't exactly his first choice being there, nor was it his second or third. Grimmjow scowled as he wondered what better things he could have possibly been doing that made spending time with him excruciating in comparison.

Grimmjow's house wasn't far from the school, but it was in the opposite direction of Ichigo's. He caught Ichigo's eyes lingering on the street they passed that would have lead him towards his own house. Grimmjow frowned. Ichigo never had a problem when his mom came to pick them up and bring them to his house during middle school, the school that was right next door to the high school. His frown quickly disappeared when Ichigo looked back over at him, observing him drive. Ichigo crossed his legs and leaned slightly closer, eyes switching from looking at Grimmjow to the windshield and then back again. Then it registered with him. This was the first time Grimmjow has ever been in a car with Ichigo while he was in the driver's seat. Grimmjow has always been such a reckless person, always getting hurt while he was friends with Ichigo. Maybe Ichigo kept on glancing around because he didn't feel safe in car with him at the wheel.

"Goddamn, Ichigo." Grimmjow cursed under his breath. "I've never crashed before." He noted, waving his hand around to gesture to his beloved car that never had so much as a scratch on it.

"Famous last words," Ichigo said under his breath at the exact same time as Nel yelled it excitedly from the backseat. Ichigo's eyes widened and he peeked over at Nel who was giggling behind him, holding her hands up for a high five which Ichigo hesitantly granted her.

Grimmjow clicked his tongue and shot a quick glare over his shoulder directed at the bouncing girl in his backseat. "When did you two become so chummy?" Grimmjow growled.

Ichigo didn't respond, returning his gaze back to the window while Nel shrugged from the backseat. "We haven't had much time to talk since this one is so shy." She said gesturing to the man in the passenger seat, slightly kicking it, causing Ichigo to lurch forward slightly and glare at Nel as he leaned back into the seat. "Where has he been hiding though? He's such a peach! I love him!" Nel said. "Can we keep him?" She joked before getting an intimidating glare from the so called peach that only caused her to giggle.

"Sure, as long as you feed him and take him for walks." Grimmjow responded, feeding into her teasing which only made Ichigo slam his head back into the seat and groaning.

It doesn't take long for Nel to grow attached to someone she deemed worthy, but her reactions to Ichigo were record breaking. Grimmjow couldn't tell why, but for some reason he found it irritating. Here Ichigo was already feeling somewhat comfortable with his best friend yet he has been giving him the cold shoulder since he stepped back into his life. He asked Nel to pretend to be Ichigo's girlfriend until the rumors died down, but that doesn't mean that she is allowed to get so close to him. Ichigo has been pushing him away from day one so it wasn't fair that she was already getting exclusive access. The only thing he was able to get out of him was a confession that he used to have a crush on him and that he now had a crush on that white haired teacher. Even knowing that pretty intimate information that could have been regarded as secrets Grimmjow still found himself hungering for more of his attention. It was Ichigo's fault for keeping him away for three years even if he didn't put up the effort to see him either.

Grimmjow pulled into his driveway listening to the symphony of everyone unbuckling their seatbelts at the same time before exiting his car and taking long strides towards the front door of his house expecting the small party to be following him. Nel bounced inside and threw herself on the living room couch, making herself right at home while Ichigo preoccupied himself with taking his shoes off at the front door like he always did.

"So what do you guys want to do?" Nel asked in a singsong voice as she swung her feet over the side of the light brown couch and fluttered her dangling legs slowly, her long hair lying behind her against the couch resembling a troll doll.

Grimmjow already had his phone to his ear with one eyebrow lifted as he observed Ichigo seat himself in the lounge chair across from Nel, his arms in front of him like he was trying to seem smaller. Grimmjow heard the man on the other end of the line and made it known that he was ordering pizza and wanted to know if either of them wanted to request anything extra. Nel threw her hands in the air asking to order cheesy bread with extra marinara while Ichigo just shrugged letting Grimmjow know that he wasn't interested in anything.

Grimmjow put in the order and placed his phone back into his pocket. He strolled over to where Nel was sitting and tugged at her legs that were hanging off the side of the couch. She yelped as her butt hit the end of the couch as Grimmjow strolled around and seated himself in the new spot after he brushed her hair away so that he wouldn't end up sitting on it. He glanced over at Ichigo who he was now sitting across and caught his eye before he looked away. Nel threw herself upwards with a bit of struggling from the lack of room to get up and complained that Grimmjow was mean and he could have just sat in the other lounge chair instead of stealing away her comfort.

"Shut up." Grimmjow growled as he faced Ichigo who seemed a bit confused on why he was requested to come here. "I asked you to come here so that we can try to figure out how to bury this rumor about Ichigo being a homo."

Nel pouted. "What spreading the rumor that he and I are dating isn't enough?" She sighed, "Although he could put an effort into being a bit more convincing."

Nel lifted herself up off the couch and strolled over to where Ichigo was sitting. She then dropped down on his lap straddling him and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Ichigo immediately stiffened and moved his head away to put as much distance between him and the girl on his lap as possible. He turned even paler with no evidence of color coming back to his face anytime soon. His mouth practically turned into a squiggly line that was commonly seen on Charlie Brown and his hands were gripping the sides of the chair for dear life so that he could maintain the distance he put between them.

Grimmjow repositioned himself so that he could see Ichigo's face better. Shoving the irritation aside that came from Nel entering his personal bubble without having a need to, he could see that Ichigo had a lot to work on. He looked completely uncomfortable being there and it looked like he was counting the number of places he would rather be. There isn't a straight guy alive who wouldn't enjoy the position he was in.

"See, why can't this guy act a bit more comfortable?" Nel sighed studying the exact same thing Grimmjow has been thinking. "I understand that he is shy and likes men, but why is he acting so awkward?"

Ichigo turned away so that he wasn't making eye contact with what Grimmjow could only assume was her chest before he mumbled. "Please get off of me." He dug his nails into the side of the cushy chair and closed his eyes like he was praying for the sweet release of death.

Nel shook her head with such speed that her hair waved behind her and probably ended up in her and Ichigo's face during the action. "Nope, you need to get used to this." She lectured. "Not to mention you need to get better with kissing."

Ichigo turned to the side and buried his face in his arm. "It's not my fault that you kissed me without any warning. How was I supposed to know that you were going to take my first kiss?"

Grimmjow's eyes grew and his eyebrows scrunched together forming frown lines that could compete with Ichigo's. She stole his first kiss? First kisses aren't such a big deal. It's kind of romanticized, but Ichigo is a shy bookworm of course he was probably upset from having his first kiss stolen. Knowing that Ichigo was a loser he could only assume that he has fantasized about how it would happen and who it would be with. It is clear that he would be upset.

That's not even mentioning how his first kiss was stolen from him from a girl, not his preferred sex. Grimmjow was pissed. He wished that he could turn back time to rewrite the entire plan so that Nel didn't have to kiss him and dammit he couldn't stop himself from beating himself up. Earlier he laughed when Nel told him that she kissed him. He didn't think it was such a big deal until now where he realized that Ichigo and he were from different worlds. Ichigo was a loner who probably never had a romantic relationship in his life.

Nel gasped and quickly slid off of Ichigo's lap. She covered her face and trotted back a little with tears in her eyes. "Oh my God, really?" She cried. "I'm so sorry!"

She ran back past the couch and down the hallway where you can hear a locking sound that came from what Grimmjow assumed was the bathroom. Ichigo blinked a few times before leaning forward and digging his hands through his hair. "Did I say something wrong?" Ichigo asked rubbing his hands back and forth through his orange natural spikes. His head dropped so that they were looking at his feet.

Grimmjow stood up and poked at Ichigo's head, letting him know that he wanted to raise it. "No, it wasn't your fault." Grimmjow said lightly pulling at his hair until Ichigo swatted his hand away, but Grimmjow smiled slightly when he managed to get Ichigo to lift his head. "She's just feeling a little guilty. It was probably my fault since I told her to pretend that you two were dating." He said accepting the blame.

The sound of a lock snapping open rang through the hall as Nel came bounding back, her face wet and strands of hair sticking to her cheeks and forehead. "Yeah, it was Grimmjow's fault." Nel roared her face pink despite her washing her face to cool down. "It's his fault that your first kiss came from a girl instead of a guy."

Nel pointed accusingly at Grimmjow. "In fact he should kiss you too."

Grimmjow's eyes bulged, threatening to fall out of his eye sockets. His face turned bright red at the sound of Nel's suggestion. "H-how would that make things right?" He stuttered his eyes swishing back and forth between an angry Nel and an Ichigo that was now hiding his face in the sleeves of his sweater.

"Well it was your idea to have someone of the opposite sex kiss him." Nel explained. "So you should have someone of the same sex kiss you." She made it sound like it was completely logical except for the fact that it made absolutely no sense. How would having Ichigo kiss two different people in the same day cure anything?

"Come on Ichigo, how would you like to be kissed by the hottest guy in the school?" Nel pried turning her attention to Ichigo who was a bit preoccupied with trying to summon supernatural forces to make him disappear.

"Please spare me." Ichigo mumbled sinking further to the ground. If he kept on sinking Grimmjow expected him to turn into a puddle.

Grimmjow frowned. Geez, he didn't think it would be too bad to kiss him. He wasn't exactly willing since he wasn't gay or anything, but if it was Ichigo…maybe…it wouldn't be gross right? They've known each other for so long. Maybe he would having been okay granting Ichigo the pleasure if he didn't treat him like he was going to give him the plague.

"Come on, you'll regret it later if you don't take the chance." Nel insisted. Grimmjow started to expect that this was more for her then it would have been for either of them.

Ichigo made some kind of choking sound as he pulled his hood over his head and pulled it halfway over his face to over most of his facial features. He was shaking under his hood before he gave up and started to laugh. He pushed the hood off his face revealing watery eyes and flushed skin and he pressed his hand against his forehead. A smile appeared on Nel's face too as she started to laugh at the absurdity of her suggestion as well. The atmosphere lightened a bit despite Grimmjow not joining in he just smiled as he observed Ichigo actually seeming to enjoy himself for the first time in his company.

The doorbell rang and Grimmjow couldn't have bolted up faster even if he tried. He has never run so fast in his life, even when he was in the football team. He hasn't realized how hungry he has become. He skidded right in front of the door, swinging the door open wide. The pizza man looked shocked to see the door open so suddenly and even more surprised to find the pizzas removed from his hand and money placed in his other before the door closed in his face.

"Food is here." Grimmjow said clearing his throat, glad that he can finally change the subject. Nel whooped, completely distracted. Grimmjow has never met someone who loves food as much as she does. She grabbed the box of cheesy bread and checked to see if they remembered to give her extra marinara this time as they often forget.

Grimmjow dropped the other box on top of the coffee table and lifted the lid. A hot puff of steam rose from the inside making the room smell like cheesy goodness. Nel moaned at the scent and immediately grabbed two slices of pizza disregarding the cheesy bread she already taken for herself. She was like a black hole, sucking in everything in her path.

Grimmjow grabbed the slice that was yanked loose from the rest of the pie that came from when Nel tore her two out. Grimmjow looked over at Ichigo, but rather than looking at the food he was more focused on his phone. Grimmjow tapped his foot, pondering what to say to grab Ichigo's attention while his backup was engaged with shoving pizza in her face.

Grimmjow snapped his finger in realization grabbing Ichigo's attention. He opened his backpack that has been disregarded as soon as he entered the house. He fished around the contents inside until he pulled out the book that Ichigo forgot to retrieve yesterday. "Here you left this behind yesterday." Okay, Ichigo didn't forget it rather neither of them brought it up.

Ichigo hesitantly took the book and flipped through it absentmindedly before he opened his own bag. Grimmjow studied the flap that Ichigo opened a hint of color from inside the bag caught his attention. Grimmjow dropped his pizza on the other side of the box, wiped his fingers on his pants, and grabbed a hold of Ichigo's bag.

Instinctively Ichigo's grip tightened on the fabric. It didn't matter for Grimmjow though seeing that the bag was still open. He reached inside and grabbed a hold of the odd colored book that he saw inside his bag.

"You know you aren't going to convince people you are straight if you carry around pink books like this." Grimmjow said waving it absentmindedly. "What is this, your diary?"

Ichigo growled and stood up to try and get the book back from Grimmjow, but Grimmjow quickly pulled it away from him, holding it above his head. "Give it back." Ichigo demanded, sounding the most sure of himself at that moment since he got to his house. "You're going to get it dirty."

Grimmjow ducked below him and ran with it with Ichigo chasing after him. "What is it?" He asked, buying himself enough time to look at the cover. He knit his eyes together. " _Romeo and Juliet_ why do you have this?" he asked.

Ichigo managed to catch up with him and grab hold of his arm, pulling it down so that he was able to take the small book out of his hand. "A teacher lent it to me so I'd really appreciate it if you try not to bend it or get grease on it."

Ichigo retreated with the book brought to his chest so he was able to place it back in his bag where it belonged without Grimmjow trying to steal it again. Grimmjow followed him while Nel watched the entertainment unfold, studying Ichigo's reaction to having his book stolen from him and his caution when he got it back.

"Was that the book you were reading in the library with that teacher?" Grimmjow asked. "Wait, was he the one that lent it to you?" He realized, recalling how that teacher treated the book so nicely when pointing out certain lines to Ichigo.

Ichigo didn't respond, hugging his book bag to keep Grimmjow from exploring the contents inside even further. He glared at Grimmjow with fire in his eyes, knowing what Grimmjow was going to say next.

Even though Ichigo knew what he was going to say Grimmjow continued to lecture him. "Ichigo that guy is bad news. He's a teacher. He isn't going to look at you the same way. Stop getting so close to him it'll only end up hurting you." Grimmjow said.

Ichigo stood up throwing his bag over his shoulder. "It's none of your business, Grimmjow." Ichigo said turning his head away from the man who felt the need to lecture him on stuff he already knows.

"Yes it is. If people find out that you have a crush on him then the bullying won't stop. The only way to make people piss off is by pretending that you are straight and you can't do that if you are drooling over a teacher you are never going to get to notice you." Grimmjow nearly shouted grabbing a hold of Ichigo's shoulder tightly. His fingers dug into Ichigo's skin causing him to flinch, but he didn't care. He was pissed off too. He was doing everything within his power to make sure Ichigo gets a peaceful high school life without getting bullied, but he was turning down everything he was doing and even told him that it was none of his business. Dammit, it was his business. If it has to do with Ichigo it was automatically his business.

Ichigo pried Grimmjow's hold on him and dropped his hand to fall by his side. "You think I don't know this? Do you think this is my first time pretending to be straight? I've pretended for years and it sucks. I'm going to be miserable no matter what I do so you can just leave me alone and let me try to live my own life."

Nel jumped up and attempted to comfort him, trying to regain the light atmosphere they had before, but he just dodged her touch, walking right past her. "If the reason why you dragged me here was to discuss what you wanted to do next for this entire 'pretend I'm straight' plan then count me out." Ichigo said while slipping his shoes on. "I never asked for this." He said as he opened the front door, leaving Grimmjow and Nel behind grasping for words to say. Grimmjow walked to the window and observed Ichigo walk back towards his house. Grimmjow gripped the curtains that ghosted over the windows, crumpling them up in his hand.

Nel walked over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. He turned around to see her smiling sweetly at him. "Maybe you should give Ichigo some space. If he doesn't want the help then maybe it is wrong to force it on him."

Grimmjow shook his head and brushed her hands off of him. "No way," Grimmjow said. "I'm not leaving him behind again."

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 **A/N: Tell me what you guys want to get you guys to keep reading. Leave a review or follow and favorite because I just want you guys to be happy so it would go a long way for me if you tell me how you feel.**


	6. Chapter 6

This story is a lot of fun. I hope you guys are having as much fun as I am.

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Chapter 6

Ichigo was never allowed to have a break. Many times he was tempted to shout at the top of his lungs that the girl who was hanging on to him was not his girlfriend. It could have been a lot worse, but he still didn't exactly enjoy lying. She didn't kiss him again after the first time, but that didn't stop her from clinging to him. The routine was the same, deal with Nel meeting him by his locker before class, go to class, hide in the library, get dragged out by Grimmjow, sit awkwardly in the cafeteria, go to class, get dragged to Grimmjow's house and deal with his shenanigans while trying to silently read his book without drawing to much attention to himself, go home, go to sleep. Then the next day would start with the same shit happening.

No one questioned his sexuality since that one day the rumor started. That rumor was buried. Even the crude graffiti in the bathrooms was painted over as if it was never there to start with. Even so Nel kept on coming back and he kept getting dragged around by Grimmjow as if he was still in danger of falling to the student body food chain. Wasn't she supposed to break up with him once the rumors stopped and things calmed down? At this point it just felt like overkill and he was feeling less like a person with his own will and more like an accessory.

He's gotten used to their presence throughout the past few weeks. He didn't even mind getting closer to Nel. Despite her being loud and obnoxious she was wonderful. She wasn't the kind of friend Ichigo would make on his own, but he definitely learned that stepping out of his comfort zone every now and then wasn't the worst thing ever. Grimmjow was basically the same person he was when they were children, cocky, and influential. The only difference is that he got rid of that awkwardness that came as a side effect from entering middle school.

He complained when Grimmjow kidnapped him and every time he did something to embarrass him at his house, but he started to become familiar with seeing Grimmjow every day. He didn't realize how much he missed having a place to go after school that wasn't his house or the library. He loved getting to see Nanao, but he needed to have friends his age and since Rukia finally managed to get a boyfriend he has been seeing less of her. Even when she texts him to hangout he would already be in the car with Grimmjow or even at his house already. Ichigo expected her to complain that he never had time for her anymore, but instead of doing that she pulled back and allowed him to stand in the light of the popular kids.

She would still call him or even visit him at night. There would be times that she gets to his house before he comes back from Grimmjow's just to see her eating at the dinner table with his family. She would share stories about her wonderful boyfriend and she would put up with Ichigo's ranting about a certain obnoxious blue haired idiot that made every effort to drag him around.

He still had to reserve time to tutor Harribel while hoping she doesn't ask him about Grimmjow. Luckily she has kept her thoughts on Grimmjow spending time with her tutor to herself and didn't so much as huff when she heard Grimmjow's name whispered in the library where they studied. His name has become more spoken even in unexpected places after he took in a complete nobody like Ichigo.

After a couple of weeks he has found himself complaining less and less. Rather than going to the library during his lunch period he found himself walking straight to the cafeteria, saving Grimmjow the trip. He didn't feel welcome at their table yet especially with Nnoitra giving him strange looks like he didn't belong there, but he found himself talking there more and more frequently. More and more people would lean in to hear what he had to say or even joke around with him.

Nel would drag him to Grimmjow's car less often and allow Ichigo to walk by himself for a change. He started to get the impression that Nel actually liked him rather then saw him as some poor unfortunate soul that Grimmjow looked after on a whim and he ended up looking forward to hanging out with them when he would usually just do his homework or just go home to lock himself in his room to read.

Ichigo even found himself staying over at Grimmjow's house long after Nel has left and was given a ride home when he decided not to run off. He was familiar with the house before, but spending everyday there made it feel like he has never left, like those two years they were apart was just an illusion. Grimmjow didn't change as much as he originally thought even if he was still a partying horndog. He felt comfortable with him without putting in too much effort and he didn't shy away whenever he touched him, allowing Grimmjow to roughhouse with him like he did when they were younger. A particularly homophobic comment would slip through every now and then and Ichigo wasn't sure whether he would be able to make Grimmjow stop entirely. Nor did he find it in his ability to explain to Grimmjow that his comments could potentially be disrespectful.

He's gotten so used to being there that he sometimes even forgets how late they were hanging out. He sat on the couch next to Grimmjow with the hum of a movie playing in the background, shoulders nearly touching. One cushion was left empty that was originally occupied by Nel who has already left to go to a party despite it being a Thursday night. It may have been an odd night for a party, but it wasn't unheard of. A party took place whenever someone's parents left town.

Without Nel making a loud presence in their small group and listening to Grimmjow's favorite movie, _Die Hard_ for the millionth time he started to doze off. It has been a long week despite it not being over yet. He was constantly tired and didn't have as much time to relax even when he spent time at Grimmjow's house. The entire reason why they were watching a movie in the first place was because Ichigo was in desperate need of a break. He was able to stay conscious for most of the movie. It was easy to stay conscious during a movie he has seen way too many times to count when he was preoccupying himself by doing homework despite Grimmjow arguing with him about taking a break. It was when he put his homework away that he started to have problems keeping his eyes open.

The air felt heavy and warm like he was being wrapped in a warm blanket and it didn't help that Grimmjow's couch was so damn comfortable. It offered support without having him sink into it. The sound of action in the movie became white noise and he felt his eyes drooping and his head nodding.

Out of nowhere Ichigo found himself lifting his head off of Grimmjow's arm. His eyes were glazed over to peak at the screen to perceive where they were in the movie. His eyes started to droop close again when he saw the credits rolling before the information processed in his head and open his eyes again.

When he noticed where he was and what he was leaning up against he jolted back to create some distance between him and Grimmjow, but the half-awake jerk grumbled something about how he was cold and leaned in closer to Ichigo, probably not even noticing what he was doing. The action made Ichigo's heart pound and wonder if Grimmjow would remember his instance to cuddle when he was more aware like he was. He was embarrassed being held by Grimmjow like a teddy bear and he felt incredibly warm from his body heat to a point where he was almost uncomfortable. He couldn't help but think that whatever Grimmjow was going to feel later was going to be way worse which he will probably try to cover by saying some kind of homophobic remarks.

Despite knowing what will happen in the future and being trapped in Grimmjow's grip the thought of him having a flustered reaction made him smile especially if he told him that he didn't let go. Whatever, if Grimmjow beat on him for 'going homo' on him then he could lie and say he wasn't aware that it happened either.

It didn't take long for Ichigo to fall asleep again just as quickly. Both of their heartbeats were in sync after being against each other for so long. Grimmjow fell backwards so that his head was on the armrest and he unconsciously pulled Ichigo on top of him like a blanket. Ichigo wrapped his arms around his abs and snuggled into his chest letting out a soft sigh when his position changed from the couch to Grimmjow's chest.

Ichigo's alarm on his phone blared shaking both him and Grimmjow awake. Ichigo nearly fell off of his stomach, but instinctively Grimmjow grabbed onto him to keep him from slipping to the floor and keeping Ichigo secure on top of him. Grimmjow's face was red from having it smushed up against the sofa's armrest and some other reason that Ichigo couldn't exactly make out through the white light reflecting off the eggshell walls. He was a little more preoccupied with other thoughts to worry about it. He blinked multiple times to get used to the bright sun shining through the windows and reflecting off the walls and pulled away from Grimmjow's embrace in an effort to get up. He nearly fell over from standing on his stiff legs and his lightheadedness wasn't helping him with the grueling task of standing. Ichigo reached for his phone which was now only on 20% and cursed when he saw the time.

Grimmjow on the other hand didn't seem to have a care in the world. He stretched his arms above his head and then ran a hand through his shaggy hair, flexing his tired muscles in the process to relieve himself from the soreness that came from sleeping on anything that isn't a bed, which Ichigo watched with his jaw slightly slack, trying not to focus so much on Grimmjow's robust biceps. He then dropped his arms like deadweight and lifted himself off the couch and stretched his back.

"Dammit, I can't get back home in time to change." Ichigo whined shaking any dirty thoughts that popped into his head while Grimmjow was stretching. He was over him dammit. He had more important things to think about that had nothing to do with Grimmjow's incredible body.

He counted the things he needed to do in his head. He finished most of his homework during the movie and fell asleep when he pushed it aside. He was also absolutely disgusting from sleeping on a couch with another person who seemed to have the body temperature of a furnace. He needed to shower, change, brush his teeth, and damn his father and sisters must be worried sick about him so he should probably call them before they filed a missing person report.

Grimmjow just shrugged. "Meh, just borrow some of my clothes. You can use the shower and I can find a spare toothbrush. If I drive us to school you will still have plenty of time to finish everything you need to." He said nonchalantly as if he was reading Ichigo's mind and it wasn't a big deal, causing Ichigo to blink in confusion, curious if he was dreaming or this was reality. He seemed unshaken even though he was so close to Ichigo. The Grimmjow he used to know got annoyed whenever a guy touched him or got too close to him, but Ichigo was always an exception since they've known each other for so long. They've been close before social norms were taught to them and even if they were away for a while it didn't mean that their habits broke.

"Oh you two are awake." Ichigo turned his head around which caused his neck to ache, reminding him of the stupid mistakes that he has made the night before. Walking into the room was a grown woman with beautiful wavy blue hair and pale skin. "I was just about to make breakfast for the two of you."

Ichigo hasn't seen Grimmjow's mom in so long, yet the sight of her made him feel welcome as she pranced around in her bathrobe without a care of what Ichigo thought. She has known him since he was a child. She has cared for him, fed him, and even comforted him when his own mother died, telling him that she was there if he needed anything. She reminded him of his own mother and seeing her reminded him just how much he missed her despite them not having any blood relation.

"Ichi, I haven't seen you and ages and when you finally come to visit you are passed out on the couch on a school night. I made sure to call your father to tell him you were here." She said pulling out some eggs from the fridge.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo said seeing her pout as she sprayed the pan on the stove.

"Mom, he's been spending everyday here for the past two weeks. You've just haven't seen him since you've been working so late." Grimmjow groaned, slinging his arm comfortably around Ichigo's shoulders. "If you took it easy then you would see him more often. Come on, you can afford to." He said giving Ichigo a little shake as if drawing attention to his childhood friend would encourage his mom to give herself more free time.

Despite Ichigo thinking of Grimmjow as the same person he has been friends with as a child there have been a few things that has happened during his absence. One of those things was that Grimmjow's father left them for another, richer woman. Grimmjow's mother worked later to make up for his father's absence despite his father still sending them checks for child support, in fact he sent a lot of money and gifts as if he was making an effort to make Grimmjow love him more than his mother who didn't abandon him. His father kept on trying to convince Grimmjow to live with him, but Grimmjow refused to leave his mother for a man who has betrayed his family. As soon as Grimmjow told Ichigo about this he beat himself up, wishing that he was able to be there for him and his mother just like they were when his mom died. Grimmjow picked up on it immediately and lectured Ichigo for thinking that he and his mom weren't strong enough to get through hard times by themselves.

"You don't need to make me anything, Mai." Ichigo said making sure to use her first name knowing that she would scold him if he referred to her in any other way. His stomach has been hurting lately so he has been trying to avoid eating as to not upset it any more. He turned to Grimmjow and smiled politely. "I'm going to take your offer and shower. Hope you don't mind that I use your shit." He said calling after him as he trotted up the carpeted stairs to Grimmjow's bathroom.

Ichigo dropped his clothes and headed straight into the shower. He waited outside for the water to heat up into a warm mist before stepping inside and pulling the curtain closed behind him. He scraped off his sweat that was combined with Grimmjow's from the night before. It took a while for Ichigo to register while he was in there that he smelled like him. He grabbed the body wash on the side and squeezed some in his hand before rubbing it across his body. That smelled like him too.

There was knocking at the door. "H-hold on," Ichigo called as he quickly started to rinse the suds off, hoping that he didn't get lost in space while standing in the shower.

"Calm down, it's me." He heard the gruff familiar voice on the other side, muffled by the door and shower. Without receiving Ichigo's permission Grimmjow walked through the door causing Ichigo's whole body that was shielded by the shower curtain to blush. Yeah, he was aware that it was him. That was the problem. Just because they've known each other since childhood doesn't make it okay for him to come in without permission while he was in the shower. Still Ichigo couldn't bring himself to be mad at him either that or he just didn't have the energy. He couldn't decide.

"I've got some clothes that should fit you." He said from behind the shower curtain leaving an outline that was made from the light in the room. "Do you need to borrow underwear?"

The question made Ichigo's body resemble the color of a strawberry. He even felt dizzy for a second and threatened to fall over. "T-thanks, but I am not going to borrow your underwear."

Grimmjow chucked from the other side. "They are unused." Grimmjow added turning the sink on for a second before the sound of furious brushing took its place.

"Say that before." Ichigo said evenly, trying to prevent his voice from rising and falling as he turned the water temperature down in an effort to cool himself down and get rid of the embarrassing red that decided to spread across his body against his will. He eventually turned the water off and started to grope around the side of the shower in search of a towel without having to come out in his naked glory.

He patted the wall in search of the towel rack and cursed when he found it empty before a plush towel was shoved into his hand. Grimmjow's own hand touching Ichigo's momentarily before pulling away once Ichigo had a hold of it. Ichigo wrapped the towel around his waist, pulled back the shower curtain, and stepped out of the tub onto the bathmat.

Grimmjow's eyes enlarged before he forced his head down to spit out the suds in his mouth. He quickly rinsed his mouth before retreating from the bathroom so that Ichigo could get dressed with the clothes that Grimmjow has left for him on top of the counter along with an unwrapped toothbrush.

Ichigo skeptically brought the clothes to his nose and smelled it. Yeah it was clean and it was Ichigo's size which means that Grimmjow hasn't worn it in a while. Even if that was the case the shirt still smelled like him and Ichigo quickly found himself pulling it over his head, breathing deeply as it fell over his torso.

The same could be said about the pants that he lent him. Since Ichigo had such long legs the length fit, but Ichigo was significantly skinnier than Grimmjow even if the clothes he was borrowing were old, allowing the pants to fall below his waistband and drag across the floor. Has he always been that skinny? Ichigo found himself groping around his body, examining how his hipbone poked out and how his palms took up so much space when he laid them flat against him. He hasn't really realized until now. He found himself pulling the pants up and puffing his stomach out before he exhaled and they drooped back down. Ichigo silently thanked him when he saw that he included a belt. He probably noticed Ichigo's most likely unhealthy body weight before he realized it himself. He was on top of him before so he may have noticed then.

He brushed his teeth with a spare toothbrush that Grimmjow also left out for him before he floated down the stairs feeling refreshed, ignoring Grimmjow who was now preoccupied eating eggs that his mother prepared for him. He had more important things to worry about.

"Ichi, you sure you don't want any?" His mother asked again from the kitchen while Ichigo situated himself on the couch with his books, scribbling down homework answers.

"No thank you. I don't have a lot of time left." Ichigo said. Ichigo set his alarm to go off early since he had to walk to school. He didn't know how much time he saved by having Grimmjow drive him, but whatever time he has he needs to use to focus on finishing his work.

"Leave him be mom. He's not gonna be able to relax until he finishes that." Grimmjow said in between bites before gulping down his orange juice.

"I wish you can learn something from him." Mai said walking over to her son and running her hands through his still uncombed hair. He swatted her away and blushed stealing a glance at the diligently working Ichigo who didn't seem to notice that his mother was actively trying to embarrass him.

"Give me like five minutes and we'll leave." Grimmjow said dragging the chair back and carrying the dishes over to the sink before trotting upstairs.

Five minutes was all Ichigo needed to finish scribbling all the answers down in his notebook. He slid his books back into his bag as Grimmjow leisurely walked downstairs, hair combed sloppily on purpose. If people knew that it took so long for him to make his hair look messy on purpose then they would probably rethink his rugged look. Even though Ichigo was well aware of it he still thought it was pretty hot. Not as hot as Ukitake's long yet civilized hair, but still hot.

During the car ride he called his father to confirm what Grimmjow's mother said to him. He just spent the night at his place and he was 100% alive. His father seemed relieved and acted surprised when Ichigo told him that he spent the night at Grimmjow's knowing that they haven't been hanging out as frequently as they used to. His father also took the opportunity to remind him that he probably wouldn't be home when he got back. He had to attend a meeting of some kind where every person who ran a clinic needed to attend where they needed to run their methods with the larger scale hospitals and confirm information with them to make transfers easier.

Within minutes they were at the school. Ichigo was earlier than he usually was and also way more exhausted than he should be. This was what he got for sleeping on a couch instead of the comfort of his bed back home, so much for trying to unwind. When he got to his locker Nel wasn't there to greet him, which was strange, but it looked like he got there before she did. It seemed like an opportunity to skip the morning horseplay. He wasn't in the mood. Everything hurt and he has never felt so tired in his life, not after he pulled an all-nighter to finish his work for five different AP classes, not after he discovered the horrors of energy drinks, not after he couldn't sleep properly for months after his mother's death.

He went to his first class and immediately rested his head against his cool hard desk hoping that a little rest would remedy his aching head. He didn't even care to look up at Mr. Ukitake who was eyeing him warily. His headache only worsened when Rukia slammed her book bag down in the desk next to her and shook Ichigo aggressively. Ichigo moaned and tried to cover his head that was spinning too quickly to be normal.

"Why didn't you call me last night?" She insisted.

Ichigo's eyes shot open. Shit, he forgot that they were planning to meet up the night before so that they could prepare for a test on Monday and she was going to be away for the weekend. He felt like a piece of shit for not even calling her to cancel. He has been spending too much time with Grimmjow lately. Well he felt like a piece of shit for multiple reasons and one of them being his headache that started to pound against his skull.

Ichigo looked between her and Ukitake hoping that he hasn't heard anything she said. He pulled Rukia close so that they could speak without being heard by any of the other students that walked in who enjoyed the quiet time before the warning bell goes off just like them.

"Sorry, I was hanging out at Grimmjow's again." Ichigo explained hoping that Rukia's infamous temper wouldn't come out and make things worse. He didn't want Mr. Ukitake to hear how much time he has been spending with Grimmjow and get the wrong idea. Before it looked like he was trying to get away from Grimmjow and back then it was, but right now he was starting to warm up to Grimmjow again. He missed him and he was afraid that if Ukitake found out about them hanging out all the time he will end up writing them off as in a relationship and lose any interest he may have for him even if he probably didn't have any.

"Of course you were. It's like I don't exist anymore." Rukia hissed under her breath. "Lately it feels like you don't care that we don't hang out and you and Nel are so close now. Lately you've only talked to me when you want to rant about them. You just keep rubbing in your friendship with the popular kids." She continued. Before she acted completely fine with Ichigo's rise in popularity, heck before she was encouraging him to take advantage of it. Right now it seemed that it was really wearing her down and acting like everything was fine was no longer working for her. He never realized how upset she was since she never complained about it, but it looked like enough was enough and he was really too tired to be put on a guilt trip.

Ichigo grew even dizzier as she continued to rant. "You know that isn't true." Ichigo nearly spat back in an effort to get her to shut up. Part of him wanted to argue back with her since he tended to have a hard time containing his temper as well making their friendship a bit fiery.

"Don't talk about this at school." Ichigo said in an effort to calm her down. He didn't need any unnecessary attention. The more attention he got the more likely people will find out that he was lying about dating Nel.

He clutched his head in his hands and Rukia noticed how visibly pale Ichigo was. She shoved back all of her arguments and lifted her hands as if ready to catch him just in case he started to sway. Ichigo on the other hand had a hard time keeping his eyes open. "Hey, Ichigo are you okay?" She said feeling confident enough to place her hand on his shoulder and look into his eyes.

Ichigo has always been tan despite spending a lot of time indoor focusing on school work or reading books. And even though he has had many sleepless nights he still always tried to make up for the sleep he has lost yet here he is with his eyes sinking into his skull.

"Mr. Ukitake, I'm going to take Ichigo to the nurse." Rukia called without asking Ichigo for his consent as she gingerly rested Ichigo's heavy head against her shoulder.

As if noticing for the first time how sickly Ichigo looked Mr. Ukitake looked up. "Oh my, he doesn't look so good. Do you need help?" he said standing up from his seat before Rukia waved him off.

"It's fine. I don't think he would want to trouble you." She said supporting his body to get Ichigo standing. She has known about Ichigo's crush on their teacher for some time and she couldn't say she blamed him. He was the most attractive teacher in the school and he truly loved his job and appreciated books just as much as Ichigo did.

Ichigo allowed himself to shift his weight more to the side that Rukia practically carried him. Though she was significantly smaller than her she has been known for being stronger than she looks. He didn't know how Rukia managed to practically carry him to the nurse's office since the trip was mostly a blur.

He didn't remember what Miss Unohana said when she saw him. All he knew was that he was now lying down on one of the beds in the back getting his blood pressure tested. He remembered blearily answering some questions. The question that stuck out to him the most being 'when was the last time you have eaten?' He didn't eat breakfast that morning, nor did he eat anything at Grimmjow's house after school, nor did he eat lunch during school, nor did he have breakfast that morning, did he even remember to eat dinner the night before? No he was too busy doing homework.

His stomach has been hurting lately so he has been avoiding food, but he hasn't realized it's been going on for too long nor does he remember forcing himself to eat something despite the pain. Top that with the lack of proper sleep he has been having trouble with lately and the stress of lying about his sexuality and the strain to finish his schoolwork and he had a whole cocktail of problems. When has it gotten to be so bad?

His head fell back on the pillow and he moaned, crumpling himself in a ball as pain shot through his entire body. He remembered Miss Unohana saying something about malnutrition, probably having an ulcer, and asking if anyone was at his house who was able to drive him home. He blearily shook his head remembering his father say something about having to go to some meeting and that he wouldn't be home. This seriously happened at the worst possible time.

Ichigo's thought was immediately corrected when he heard the doors to the nurse's office open again. There has been a bit of complaining about how someone shouldn't go back there and how Miss Unohana was taking care of someone, but that didn't seem to stop a tall muscular Grimmjow from charging into the room like he was expected to be there.

"What the hell happened to Ichi?" Grimmjow asked in a gruff insistent voice as if everyone present was at fault for his condition.

"That isn't anyone's business." The nurse started to say referring to patient confidentiality. Rukia stared at Grimmjow slack jawed wondering how the most popular kid at school found Ichigo so quickly. She knew that Ichigo and Grimmjow were childhood friends and they hang out every day, but this was the first time she saw him approach him in person, and even show concern, in fact she has never seen him show concern to anyone besides himself.

"Yeah, it's mine. He's my best friend." Grimmjow growled only to make Ichigo's eyes shoot open to look at him and causing Rukia's mouth to open and close, trying to muster some kind of response that was probably going to land on the aggressive side.

"If he's sick, I'll drive him home." Grimmjow said leaning backwards, shoving his hands in his jean pockets which only accented the snarl stretched across his face.

"That isn't exactly allowed." Unohana reminded him.

"I will literally call his father. I can guarantee that he wouldn't give a shit!" Grimmjow roared which did wonders to accent Ichigo's headache. Ichigo turned his head to the side and threw his arm over his eyes to block any light that came from the room.

Miss Unohana did just that after she commented on his crude language. She left the back room to use the office phone to look up his father's number as Grimmjow pulled a chair to sit next to his bed. Rukia looked at him, spectating all of his actions, but not saying anything.

Grimmjow poked at Ichigo to get his attention, but all Ichigo did was groan in response which only encouraged him to keep poking him until Ichigo gave him a coherent response.

"Come on, Ichi. Why didn't you tell me you weren't feelin' well?" He insisted.

Moments later the nurse walked back into the room and sighed. "You know skipping school is bad, right? I'll allow you to take him home after you sign these forms." She said handing Grimmjow the paperwork which he took eagerly, grabbing the pen from her hand as well. "This doesn't mean it is an excused absence though."

"Do you need to borrow a wheelchair?" She asked as soon as Grimmjow's name was signed next to the x on the paper.

"Nope, I'm fine." Grimmjow said confidently with a small smirk on his face, stretching his arms before kneeling down and lifting Ichigo off of the bed bridal style. Ichigo's eyes grew in realization when he realized he was no longer on a soft surface, but now resting in Grimmjow's tough arms. He instinctively wrapped his arms around Grimmjow's neck and blinked when his eyes became reacquainted with the bright room.

"Shit Ichi. You're too freaking light." He cursed bringing his eyebrows together in discomfort. Ichigo turned away from him to hide the blush that quickly took over his face and stretched to his ears. If his body heat went up anymore he would only become even dizzier.

Rukia stifled a laugh as her best friend faced her. His expression quickly morphed into a glare which only made her unable to hold back her laughter as she held open the door that allowed Grimmjow to carry him out of the nurse's office.

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 **A/N: Please leave some reviews. I am definitely motivated to write this story, but a little more would be great. I also need to know if you guys are enjoying the story and want to see more. Also fun fact: Ichigo's ulcer in this chapter is based on my own life experience. They aren't fun.**


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you all so much for the support. You guys are great. I'm having so much fun writing this and it's amazing to hear that you guys are enjoying it too.

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Chapter 7

The morning started off fine for Grimmjow. Sure waking up on a couch with a guy his age wasn't typically the way he started a normal day, but it was definitely not the worst thing in the world. Waking up on a couch with Ichigo actually reminded him a lot of his childhood when he would sleepover on a typical weekend. Though his muscles ached from his stiff position on the couch he felt refreshed from the pleasant memory and the warmth that was supplied from his best friend's body heat.

Ichigo's alarm went off a little earlier than he was used to waking up which was a bit annoying, but seeing Ichigo moan about how he was screwed was sort of cute especially after Grimmjow saved the day by offering everything he needed. He didn't even think anything was wrong when he refused the breakfast his mother offered to make for them since he was so preoccupied. She rarely cooks so early in the morning since she typically takes late shifts. Her mornings were typically spent sleeping in. She probably made an exception for the purpose of pampering Ichigo who she hasn't seen in ages. Grimmjow even estimated that she set her alarm extra early just to spoil the cute little kid she has known for years, not paying any mind to the traitorous extended absence.

Grimmjow made it his new goal in life to fluster Ichigo at every given chance, for example entering the bathroom when he was in the shower despite his obvious displeasure. Ichigo acted the way he expected and even reverted back to normal when he proceeded to continue his own morning routine after wasting time digging around in his closet and drawers to find clothes that would fit the significantly smaller male, clothes that would look good on him. Without Ichigo noticing he took the towel that was hanging on the rack just so he could hand it over to Ichigo and slightly brush hands with him. He didn't know how or why he came up with that idea, but it seemed to have worked. Ichigo's hand freezing at the sudden contact with his skin was enough evidence that he was shying away which made it difficult to hold back laughter and even more difficult to push him even further.

Ichigo stepped out when Grimmjow was nearly finished brushing his teeth. Grimmjow saw Ichigo's reflection in the mirror that has not fogged because Ichigo remembered to turn the fan on in the shower so he was able to see plenty. Unintentionally Grimmjow studied the other body in the reflection, how his wet hair flattened slightly against his face yet managed to remain unruly, his smooth skin, his flat stomach, how his towel hung right above his waist and if there was one wrong move…Grimmjow spit out the suds in his mouth and rinsed before retreating from the bathroom.

He wasn't supposed to be embarrassed, it was meant to be the other way around yet he left before doing anything to bully his friend further and there were so many creative things he could have done to mess with him that would have yielded the best reactions. So many possibilities ran through his head as he retreated downstairs trying not to beat himself up for chickening out for some reason.

He hoped that he gave Ichigo everything he needed. It was his fault that Ichigo stayed overnight. He woke up during the movie to see Ichigo sleeping against him, but instead of shaking him awake and offering to drive him home he let him lie there against him because…well he still hasn't exactly figured that part out yet. He was originally planning on driving Ichigo home and joining Nel at the party or at least drag Ichigo with him, but then Ichigo's head hit his shoulder and he couldn't bring himself to wake him up nor was he able to stop himself from joining him. If Ichigo needed anything he could ask, but while he had the chance he was going to indulge in his mom's rare offering to prepare a warm breakfast.

Ichigo sailed down the stairs and instantly preoccupied himself with homework, properly clothed and hair still moist from the only method of drying being a towel ran through it. Despite Grimmjow's mom preparing breakfast Ichigo refused it for the purpose of completing the task he shouldn't worry too much about. He was a senior in high school dammit. Even if Grimmjow wanted to protest, maybe steal his homework away from him so he could eat something he ended up just watching him intently instead.

He looked freaking great in his clothes; they were a little big on him which reminded him that the clothes he was wearing wasn't his own, but his. It filled him with some kind of warmth that he didn't fully understand but didn't dislike. The shirt hung off of his shoulder slightly, showing off his bare neck and Ichigo ended up having to adjust it to keep the collar centered so that it wouldn't slip and fall down his arm. After he started to work again his collar would slide down his shoulder causing him to stop what he was doing so that he could fix it again.

Eventually he ignored it and focused on whatever homework he was doing, math, or biology, Grimmjow couldn't tell nor did he care. All he knew was that it was keeping him from being able to spend a nice morning with him and stressed his buddy out. Ichigo scribbled down answers and flipped through his notebook to check his notes. He rubbed his hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his, and knit his eyebrows like he does when he is in deep thought or angry, or annoyed, or any other emotion really. Then he bit the eraser of his pencil lightly, a habit he has never seen before which reminded him that no matter how much he thought he knew Ichigo there were still things that he didn't notice and that was new about him.

He felt giddy just from looking at him even if he couldn't mess with him he still enjoyed being able to observe him without his knowing. His mother looked over her shoulder to check the wall clock and Grimmjow needed to stuff food in his mouth to keep her from noticing his light smile. He didn't need her concocting ideas with her overactive imagination. They were friends and he was just happy to see him, and there was nothing abnormal about the feelings that he got from looking at him.

Still, friends would have insisted on getting something for him to eat instead of going to school hungry. Friends would have noticed how run down he looked and tell him that it may be a good idea to take the day off since he was too stressed for a healthy high school senior. He didn't. He may have been his friend, but he should have watched over him better like he did when they were younger.

Grimmjow closed the front door and checked his phone that's battery life was as much as in a sorry state as Ichigo's who has already expressed his frustration for having to put it on power saving mode so early in the morning. As soon as he lit his phone up there was a text from Nel that read 'SOS I seriously need to talk to you.' She had a habit of making big deals out of nothing and then getting over the problem just as quickly as the problem presenting itself just like when she realized that she stole Ichigo's first kiss.

She never kissed him again, but it wasn't long until she started to joke around by insisting that Grimmjow kiss Ichigo to make up for it. Kissing Ichigo wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world, she could have forced a way worse penalty, and maybe if she forced him and Ichigo wasn't so reluctant then maybe, just maybe…he started the car before Ichigo even situated himself in the passenger seat.

He didn't have the chance to speak for most of the car ride since Ichigo was on the phone with his father. He didn't see the purpose of calling him since his mom already said that she called him. He could have paid more attention to him, dammit. He was bored of listening to him talk on the phone and silently wished that he could have his own conversation with him.

As soon as Grimmjow and Ichigo arrived at school Ichigo ran off and Grimmjow responded to the message that Nel sent last night while he was asleep. Nel responded instantaneously like she was staring at her phone waiting for him to message her back. If she responded back that quickly it must have truly been a big deal rather than some drunken text she sent to him without recognizing whether something was text worthy or not.

Nel and Grimmjow met in the stairway that was practically known for smokers and private conversations at this point. It was too early for the school smokers to sneak their fix in so they should be safe talking in private without any eavesdroppers. When Grimmjow slid open the exit door he noticed Nel sitting on the steps with her head in her hands with her hair draping over like a seafoam green waterfall so that he couldn't see her face.

"Grimm," She moaned at the sound of the door opening. "I fucked up."

Grimmjow sat next to her and hesitated to rest his hand on her back. He was never really sure how good he was at the entire comforting thing especially since he wasn't sure of the context, not to mention the fact that he was one of the many school assholes. When he placed his hand on her back he felt her shaking slightly as if traumatized by her own actions and inability to cope.

"I was drunk; I didn't know what was going on." She sobbed, her cries echoing in the stairway before being cut off by Grimmjow telling her to take it easy to prevent herself from going hysterical. Grimmjow traced his fingers across her back, ghosting over her hair trying to calm down his best friend. Her story didn't seem like it was going in a good direction and his mind was already conjuring all kinds of graphic scenarios in which he questioned if it was safe for her to be in school right now or whether she should be in an emergency room.

"I slept with a guy. I can barely remember who it was. It was dark yet I didn't think much of it. I barely knew what was going on." Nel said. The way she said it made it sound like she was consensual while she was drunk, but probably not in the right frame of mind to decide whether it is smart to pursue sexual relations. "Then Nnoitra, at least I think it was Nnoitra, questioned me knowing what I did. He asked if I broke up with Ichigo. I fucked up. I told him. I told him that Ichigo was gay, that we were never together." She said in choppy sentences in between short sobs.

Grimmjow pulled her into a hug and allowed her to cry on his shoulder while he stroked her back. He tightened his closed eyes and she sighed in relief while he tangled his fingers in her hair, brushing it out of her face. Yeah, what she told him really sucked, but it wasn't the worst thing. What happened wasn't nearly as bad as any of the graphic images that came into his mind when Nel explained that she was drunk. He should have been there to make sure she was safe, but this wasn't the first time she went to a party alone. Bad things have threatened to happen to her in the past though and Grimmjow was able to bail her out of those situations.

"It's okay, Ichigo is strong." Grimmjow cooed, nestling himself into her hair that smelled like a combination of her lavender scented shampoo and her calming natural scent. "He wasn't exactly satisfied pretending to be straight anyway. We are just back to square one. I'm just glad you are okay."

Nel was the first to pull away, she rubbed the back of her hand under her eye to clear her face of any tears that leaked down and gave one more gratifying sniff. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy, but at least she didn't wear a lot of makeup so there were no smudges. She quickly got up as if she wasn't crying just a moment ago. There it was, quickly over it. Now she wanted to act to make up for her mistake.

"We need to find Ichigo." Nel said, her hands forming fists, hardening her resolve. "We need to explain to him before things get out of hand and he ends up getting hurt again."

Grimmjow nodded. Nnoitra wasn't exactly the best person she could have told. He was known for being cruel in his methods and he was especially unforgiving towards people who were just a little different, just like Ichigo. Nnoitra has tried to attack Ichigo before just because of his hair color back in their freshman year when Grimmjow was still part of the football team. Nnoitra asked him to join him in a prank and he was quickly shut down. Back then Grimmjow and Ichigo didn't talk as much, but his instinct to defend Ichigo kicked in again.

The truth about Ichigo being gay may be enough to convince him to attack especially since he has been fighting to take Grimmjow's place as the king. Then there was the fact that he thought that Ichigo was dating Nel, the girl he had a crush on. He definitely had some resentment about that even if he knew that it wasn't true now. He'll probably get annoyed just from the fact that Ichigo got so close to her.

Grimmjow didn't rush Nel to get out of the abandoned stairway; it was the other way around. She pulled Grimmjow by his bicep, leading him to Ichigo's first period class that she has walked him to a number of times. She popped her head inside of the nearly empty classroom, but there was no Ichigo. His teacher seemed preoccupied with tapping his desk instead of partaking in the book that formed a tent on the page he left off in front of him.

Grimmjow pulled away from the corner of the doorway and strolled inside like he belonged there. The other students who were there early stared at him with wide eyes, wondering why the king has bestowed his presence on them while others hid in their notebooks, hoping for Grimmjow to not notice them peeking over.

Grimmjow strolled to the front of the room and stood imposingly in front of Ichigo's first period teacher. As soon as he recognized the tall elegant looking teacher as the one Ichigo had a crush on he couldn't stop himself from acting a little coldly, or very coldly, he couldn't tell all he knew was that he didn't like him. He didn't trust him. Teachers weren't supposed to get too close to their students yet he didn't seem to mind lending a book and leaning over one of his. He had to be some kind of pervert or something or get Ichigo mixed up in something ugly. He crossed his arms over his chest and his mouth was formed into an uncomfortable sneer. "Hey, do you know where Ichigo is?" He asked rudely despite asking the notoriously polite teacher for help.

It took Ukitake a second to recognize the student standing above him that wasn't his own before his eyes glowed in recognition. "Oh, I remember you. You're Ichigo's friend." He said with a sweet smile. "He was feeling a bit under the weather so Rukia took him to the nurse." The bastard sounded like he was genuinely happy to see him and the polite atmosphere did wonders to piss Grimmjow off. It made him feel like _he_ was the asshole for having a less then appropriate demeanor. This guy could have at least returned his hatred, and dammit, why was Ichigo at the nurses' office? That seemed a bit more important at the moment.

Grimmjow cocked his head slightly. Rukia? He's heard of her from some of Ichigo's stories, but he never knew him. He always thought of her as some character from Ichigo's old life before Grimmjow gave him a new one where he was popular. As if reading his mind just from observing the subtle body language like some kind of creep Ukitake elaborated. "You know, his best friend?" He said gesturing to a seat that only made Grimmjow assume that that was where she sat and he would recognize her if she knew where her desk was. He's never been here before. How the hell would he know? Also who was this best friend chick? He was his best friend, dammit. He didn't know who she was, but fuck her! He wasn't allowed to have two best friends. Then again Grimmjow considered both Nel and he would probably consider Ichigo his best friend now too since they hung out every day and knew each other since childhood, but he was allowed to be an exception.

Without even saying goodbye Grimmjow turned around to leave the polite teacher so that he could track down Ichigo at the nurse since now there was something new he should be worried about to add to his annoying list of anxieties. Why the hell was Ichigo at the nurse? Did someone already get to him and this teacher did nothing to help? There was too much goddamn violence in this school and no one ever did anything about it. Some of the violence came from him, but even the faculty knew better then to go near Grimmjow in fear of his father's wrath. Before he could march out while drawing more conclusions he was called back.

"Hold on, if you are going to the nurse's office to find Ichigo can you give him this?" Ukitake exclaimed, grabbing Grimmjow's attention and pulling it back towards him. The teacher had a light smile on his face and kindness in his eyes as he rummaged through his satchel and pulled out a small thin book. Grimmjow narrowed his eyes at Ukitake, his vision swapping between looking at him and the suspicious black book he was holding. It better not be some perverted book that made suggestions at Ichigo. Wait, why would this guy be giving Ichigo a book like that in the first place? He wasn't a dumbass he knew that Ukitake was the most attractive teacher in the school and a bunch of girls took his work heavy class just so they could ogle at him during class. He's totally just trying to lead Ichigo on before he shatters him. "I was planning on giving it to him after class when everyone left, but I'm going to assume that he isn't coming back. It's a poetry book that I thought he would enjoy. Tell him it is a gift from me. It even has an inscription."

Grimmjow's brows furrowed as he tentatively took the book from his hands. This teacher didn't even know him yet he trusted him to deliver a gift. Was he some kind of messenger boy? How pure could this man be? No, it was all a front. He couldn't trust this guy. His resolve was not going to weaken to his sweet smile and kind words. He looked at the smooth cover of the book. It had a simple design, a white picture of a jellyfish that contrasted the dark cover. It was labeled " _Pillow Thoughts"_ in the same white text as well as the author's name which he didn't even care to remember. Who remembers authors anyway?

Ukitake kept the same sweet smile on his face. "He's my favorite student and he seems like he has been having a rough time lately and I wish for him to feel better." Ukitake said looking at the book longingly. If he liked the book so much shouldn't he just keep it himself? "I thought it would put his mind at ease a bit."

Grimmjow tried to keep himself from snarling. The book felt like it was stinging him. Maybe it was because the picture of the jellyfish had some kind of effect on him, no that's stupid; maybe it was because the idea of a teacher giving a student a gift felt wrong even if he did say that Ichigo was his favorite student; maybe it was that the teacher actually had a genuinely nice thought and it may lead Ichigo down the wrong direction or worse the direction may actually turn out to be right; or maybe there is some kind of hidden message inside since there is no way that a teacher could be that nice so he must have ulterior motives like using this book to manipulate him.

The warning bell rang as Grimmjow left the room. Nel, who watched the entire interaction couldn't draw her eyes away from the small book that was held in Grimmjow's firm grip, threatening to wrinkle it. Grimmjow was in a bad mood. Ichigo wasn't feeling well and he hasn't noticed and on top of that he was expected to bring him a gift from that old man. Okay, he was like 30 and looked great and he'll begrudgingly admit that he was attractive, but Ichigo could do much better. Ichigo was young and good looking he can totally get someone as attractive as Grimmjow even if there was no one who could meet his standards.

Before he could bury Nel in his destructive ranting he told her that he could take care of the rest by himself and sent her on her way to class, worrying if Ichigo was going to be alright. As he walked down the hallway towards his destination he absentmindedly flipped through the book, hoping that if there was anything suspicious inside like a dick pic it would slip out. The pages were mostly empty as poetry resided on every page, some small, some large, some oddly spaced, some straight forward. Grimmjow was far from being an expert on poetry, but a lot of them seemed to have a similar theme that made Grimmjow feel queasy.

He flipped to the first page with a snarl to see if there was some kind of description to confirm his suspicions. Instead of that he found the first page covered in writing that was signed in pen. The handwriting was beautiful, like it was done by a calligrapher. It read "To Ichigo, the brightest star in my student constellation. I hope that these poems allow you to find some answers like it has helped me. ~ Love, Mr. Ukitake."

'Love' Ichigo's teacher signed the book with 'Love.' Grimmjow read the inscription a few times as he walked down the almost empty hallway that was only occupied by a few stragglers. He even said the cursed word a few times out loud to see how it felt when the hallway completely emptied out. "Love" he said to himself in a low voice under his breath before approaching the hall that was occupied by the main office, and the nurses' office. The word wasn't so hard to say, but in the context he was thinking of it made the hand that was holding the book sweat and threatened to throw the book as far away from him as possible.

He passed the book between his two hands to keep himself from following through with his instincts, playing with it, deciding what he should do with it. As he stood in front of the nurse's office he looked at the book one more time. He flipped it back open to the first page and stared at it. He would have coped fine if it was just a normal book, but the inscription made him feel uneasy. He scrunched his eyebrows together and tore out the cursed sheet of paper that was decorated by that teacher's beautiful writing and crumpled it up into a ball before shoving it into his jacket pocket and throwing the small black book into his bag.

Nothing good would come of it if Ichigo read that. It would only mislead him and that would devastate him more than anything. Ichigo could deal with bullying about his sexuality, he could push people away that he used to love, but Grimmjow wasn't sure how Ichigo would handle heartbreak. Ichigo was already hurting enough. He didn't know why Ichigo was in the nurses' office, but Ichigo was the kind of guy who would go to school even if he had a high fever so whatever happened to him must not have been good and he hated to admit that he was nervous, and the growing list of anxieties wasn't helping.

Grimmjow slammed open the door, pissed for multiple reasons and the nurse's assistant wasn't exactly being very helpful. The tall woman with light purple hair eyes grew at the sound of the door slamming open to reveal a very dissatisfied Grimmjow. He marched to the back even while she kept on insisting that he doesn't go past a certain point if nothing was wrong with him, but he just brushed her off and continued to look for his childhood best friend.

Seeing Ichigo crumpled together on the bed didn't make him feel any better. He didn't look like he was beaten up which was good, but seeing him there made it clear that something was wrong, that he was sick or injured and he didn't tell him that there was something wrong before leaving that morning. He couldn't tell whether he should be annoyed with Ichigo or relieved that he was being taken care of now so he just resorted to poking at him to try and find out more with that girl Ichigo calls his best friend watching him while the nurse bitched at him about not knowing how to follow directions and how he shouldn't be leaving school early.

It took way too much effort to be allowed to leave with him. It was like they couldn't get it through their thick skulls that it was either he take him home or Ichigo was stranded there in pain since apparently they weren't allowed to take him to a hospital and it wasn't urgent enough to call an ambulance. Even though the nurse was being a bitch the chick that brought Ichigo there didn't even protest when Grimmjow took the initiative. Maybe she wasn't too bad, but that didn't make Grimmjow like her any more. He didn't like Ichigo talking to girls. He may have been a homo, but that doesn't mean that he likes him talking to girls, or guys, or anyone really unless he approved of them, so he didn't like him talking to most people. He was trying to make Ichigo cool so he can't hang around losers. They'll only drag him through the dirt with them. He should only hang out with him.

Grimmjow couldn't wait to get out and rather than borrowing a wheelchair like a normal person he resorted to carrying Ichigo. Why did he do that anyway? To prove some kind of point? Was this some kind of power move? To prove his power to who, that Rukia chick? Using a wheelchair would have saved him some energy. That Rukia girl followed him anyway much to Grimmjow's curiosity and displeasure, until she started to open the doors he couldn't open with a warm, frail body in his arms. Seriously, Ichigo was too light. She also took the responsibility to carry his stuff while he opted to have Ichigo cling to him while he muttered small protests every now and then about how he was able to walk by himself. Grimmjow retorted after every protest before ignoring him, knowing that it was fruitless. His friend didn't say anything in response, unusually quiet even when Ichigo tried to get her attention for a reason that was lost to him.

Grimmjow managed to carry Ichigo through the student parking lot to his car where the girl opened up the passenger seat without him even having to ask her. She didn't say anything until the door was closed with Ichigo and his bag behind it. "You better not be teasing him or something stupid." She said. "If you do anything to hurt him you will be sorry. I don't care how popular you are or who your dad is."

Grimmjow grimaced. He didn't know how she knew about his father since it was kind of a secret since he didn't want to be recognized under the name of his good for nothing father. Also who the hell does she think she is to threaten him? She may have been a nobody, but that didn't give her the right to challenge him. How would he even hurt Ichigo? He thought briefly about the book in his bag and the page he has torn out that rested uncomfortably against his leg from inside his pocket. Was he even planning on giving Ichigo the book to start with? Dammit fine, he won't hurt Ichigo, but he is going to make sure he doesn't get hurt either. There was no way he was going to let Ichigo see that page even when he does give him the book.

"Don't worry about it. You have nothing to do with this?" Grimmjow said turning his back to her and walking around to the driver seat. She stepped back away from the car to allow him to back out of his space. Grimmjow turned to Ichigo to see that he has already drifted off in the seat next to him. His face seemed like he was in pain rather than relaxed even if he was finally able to get some rest.

Despite never having to drive to Ichigo's house from school he didn't need to be given any directions. Driving there felt like second nature from how many times he has driven him home and the amount of times he has rode his bike there when they were younger. He parked on the street, not wanting to take his father's parking space up front nor did he want to claim too much space in front of a clinic despite it being closed with his father's absence.

He shut his car off and reached over to unbuckle Ichigo's seatbelt. Grimmjow held back his sigh in displeasure when he noticed Ichigo stir and without any words, let himself out of the car. Grimmjow called after him telling him that he could carry him, but Ichigo just protested again, stumbling when he threw his heavy backpack over his shoulder. Grimmjow nearly sprinted over to catch him when he saw him sway, but Ichigo threw a glare towards him like he knew what he was thinking and hated being viewed as weak.

Ichigo cocked his head when he recognized Grimmjow following him. "Aren't you going to go back to school?" Ichigo questioned, but was not surprised by Grimmjow shaking his head in the negative.

"Like hell I'm leaving you home alone. If I do then you'll just do work or something and stress yourself out." Grimmjow caught a small bit of coloration on Ichigo's cheeks and the effort he made to hide it by focusing on unlocking the glass door rather than exchange anymore words. The sight made Grimmjow's chest warm up a little and caused a small smile to tug on his face when he realized that he was right and even though Ichigo was changing like any other person he could still read him.

It has been an incredibly long time since he has been inside Ichigo's house. The small clinic hasn't changed much in appearance from the last time he has been there he pondered as he followed Ichigo into the back of the building where he and his family lived. The pictures on the wall were the same, small family photos with Ichigo and his sisters, his entire family, and the photo that was taken on Ichigo's father and mother's wedding day. Grimmjow scanned the wall in curiosity, wondering whether that photo was still there. The smile that was tugging at his lips won the fight when he recognized the small photo of him and Ichigo as children wearing matching outfits in the collage of family photos. They didn't take that one down. He knew that he wasn't forgotten because Ichigo's father vouched for him, but it was nice to see physical proof.

He followed Ichigo upstairs and walked through the door to Ichigo's room. Ichigo threw his bag to the side and flopped down on his bed with his face buried in his pillow groaning.

"Is there anything you need?" Grimmjow asked.

Ichigo turned his head to the side slightly and peeked up at Grimmjow. "Sure, can you go back to school so I could sleep and you won't get in trouble?" Ichigo said with some bitterness in his voice. It may have sounded like an insult and that he was telling Grimmjow to go away, but he knew that the reason why he was acting so coldly was because he felt guilty for Grimmjow having to take responsibility and missing class because of him, either that or he was feeling crabby for feeling like shit.

"I told you that I wasn't going to leave you alone." Grimmjow growled. "Do you want me to get you something to eat?"

Ichigo moaned and buried himself further into his pillow. "I really don't want to think about food right now, food hurts."

Grimmjow rolled his eyes and snarled at Ichigo's response. "Stop being so damn stubborn, you have to freaking eat. I don't give a shit if it hurts. You need food if you're going to get better." He said before leaving Ichigo alone in the room. "I'm going to go get you something and you better eat it."

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 **A/N: Grimmjow may not care who wrote _Pillow Thoughts_ , but I do. It's by Courtney Peppernell. Thanks so much for the support. Keep it up by sharing some love by reviewing, favoriting, or even following.**


	8. Chapter 8

Don't you hate it when you write something and you learn later on that someone else had the same idea? The other day I was watching Friends...for some reason (I'm not a fan, but I was watching it mindlessly while doing an art project) and I was watching season 7 episode 6 and I was horrified how two of the male characters took a nap on the couch together while watching a movie. It would have been fine except for the fact that they were watching _Die Hard._ Sounds a little familiar right?

A comic I really like also did something that is almost identical to something that I'm doing in this story as well. I haven't posted those chapters yet, but they were written before I read that comic...the comic did it way better too. I've recently rewritten those chapters to make them better so that they can be more like that comic. I aspire to make that story arc as good as that comic's portrayal. I'm not going to tell you which comic it is until those chapters are posted because it had a similar conclusion.

Sorry it took me so long to post. I was redoing some stuff.

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Chapter 8

Ichigo wasn't really sure how he felt about being home alone with Grimmjow. He never liked being viewed as helpless especially in Grimmjow's eyes. Grimmjow would always try to protect him or stand up for him when they were kids, but usually it would result in Ichigo trying to tell him that he didn't need help and that he can do things on his own. Grimmjow always insisted despite whether his help was desired or not. Even though his inability to listen has always been a character flaw of his, Ichigo could never bring himself to be angry at him, maybe a little impatient with him, but never truly angry. He had good intentions and he never really means to hurt the people he loves despite him being an asshole to the ones he doesn't care about. Grimmjow trying to help was a show of affection and Ichigo sometimes had a hard time turning it down and maybe that was when Ichigo discovered that he had a crush on him.

Even when he did turn him down there was a part of him that hoped that Grimmjow still comes to the rescue. He tried to change himself by pushing him away, but Grimmjow still came back and he found himself falling into the same routine.

He thought back to when he was an awkward middle schooler, back to a time no one wants to remember or even think about. Around that age kids started to take an unnecessary interest in sex. It was like a child learning a curse word; they won't stop saying it as if to broadcast that he they knew something at they shouldn't. Despite his classmates' interest in talking about who the 'hottest' girl in school was during homeroom, Ichigo took no interest in any of the girls that were listed. When his classmates insisted that he share his crush since he knew all of theirs Ichigo answered honestly, he didn't have one. He didn't fully understand his sexuality so he could barely explain to himself why he didn't take too much of an interest in girls nor could he explain to himself why the very guys he was talking to seemed more appealing to him than any of the girls in his grade.

Grimmjow was the one who stepped in on the conversation and defended Ichigo, saying that it was okay that Ichigo didn't take interest in any of the whores in their grade. Even back then Grimmjow was vulgar, but in Ichigo's barely pubescent mind Grimmjow was a hero and always looked up to him. It wasn't until later that Ichigo realized that his feelings towards Grimmjow was a bit more then admiration.

There was no way Ichigo was going to fall back into that. He grew up so there was no way he was going to allow those feelings to resurface after he's been burying them for so long. Even when Grimmjow sat by his bed while Ichigo ate the food he prepared by rummaging around in the kitchen like he was entitled to. Not when he had to scold Grimmjow for rummaging around his room, looking for something to do. Not even when Ichigo finally fell asleep and Grimmjow threw an extra blanket over him when he noticed him shivering.

Ichigo eventually woke up hours later to see Grimmjow still there sitting at his desk on his laptop. When Grimmjow realized that Ichigo was awake he slammed the laptop closed with a small blush on his cheeks. "You use the same password that you used in middle school." He said in a poor attempt to justify his actions.

Ichigo shook his head, making a mental note to find out what on earth Grimmjow was looking at that warranted his computer to be slammed closed. He could change his password and deal with any potential viruses Grimmjow gave him later, but at the moment he was a bit more confused about the guy that was occupying his space in the first place.

"What are you still doing here?" Ichigo asked. He looked over to the alarm clock sitting next to his bed. This alarm was barely used since his father typically woke him up in the most obnoxious way possible which was completely unwarranted since he would typically wake up before his father is even able to step through the door. He also preferred to use his phone since it wasn't loud enough to wake up everyone in the house. Looking at his clock made him nearly groan about how long he was asleep. School was already over and from the looks of how Grimmjow's stuff was on the other side of the room where he left it and his shoes laying on the floor unceremoniously; he stayed there the entire time.

"I didn't want you to collapse or something on the way to the bathroom or something stupid." Grimmjow said nonchalantly like it was obvious that he would stay there even when he was asleep. Resting his hand on Ichigo's laptop and tracing the scratches on the outside with his fingertips.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I can take care of myself." He said like a broken record. He said that a million times in the past and it seemed like he was not going to stop saying it any time soon. He rolled the covers off of his body before swinging his legs to the floor, standing up abruptly, and ignoring the dizziness that resurfaced slightly.

Grimmjow stood up immediately and held his hands out like he was spotting him just in case he actually did fall over. His eyes were bulging slightly before morphing to a more impatient expression. "Take it easy, dammit." He said before lightly resting his hands on Ichigo's shoulders in an effort to lead Ichigo to sit back on his bed.

Ichigo brushed his hands off of him. "You don't need to baby me." Ichigo said as he walked past Grimmjow to get to his closet. He pulled a shirt off of a hanger and pulled the shirt he was wearing over his head. The shirt still smelled slightly like Grimmjow, but after he wore it to bed it reeked of his own scent. Ichigo looked over at Grimmjow who was staring at the wall next to him to give Ichigo some privacy while he changed. "Here, I should give you the clothes I borrowed back." Ichigo said gesturing to the shirt he was now holding in his hand despite Grimmjow not looking at him. "I can wash it for you."

Grimmjow snuck a peek at him before turning his attention back on the wall just as quickly as his glance at Ichigo's half naked body. "Nah, they don't fit anymore. You can keep it." Grimmjow said shrugging. There was silence for a few moments before he continued. "Plus they look really good on you."

Ichigo looked at him as if he was trying to find out whether the person standing on the other side of the room was truly Grimmjow. He looked like him, but he was being companionate and was courteous enough to turn away while he was changing despite him never minding it before. Seriously he walked into the bathroom while he was taking a shower earlier that very same day. Now he was even paying him a compliment? There must have been something wrong with him. He never complimented anyone but himself even when they were kids, maybe he'll give Ichigo a slight one when he was in a good mood, but that was it.

Ichigo pulled the fresh shirt over his head before grabbing some pajama pants from his drawer and pulled them on, tying them on tightly so that they wouldn't slip. He didn't notice until now how all of his clothing was becoming looser and just how tightly he had to tie the shredding strings to his pants. The entire time Grimmjow faced the wall and eventually shifted his gaze to the floor when he heard his pants fall.

"Do you want your belt back at least?" Ichigo asked holding it up in front of him to sign that he was done changing and it was safe for him to look at him again.

Grimmjow looked up at him and shook his head. "No, that's fine."

Ichigo studied Grimmjow as he walked back to the chair in front of his desk. He had some sort of caution in his step, something that wasn't there before. He acted like the floor was hot and if he put too much pressure into his step he would end up burning himself.

"Okay, something is up." Ichigo said bluntly causing Grimmjow to flinch slightly, which only confirmed Ichigo's thoughts even more. "Did you do something or see something weird on my computer?" Ichigo questioned while pointing at the closed laptop that was left on his desk even though he didn't know what Grimmjow could possibly find that would be so inappropriate.

Grimmjow jolted upwards in his seat. "What? No." Grimmjow said attempting to relax as if his reaction was unnoticed. "Nothing is up. It's just…" Grimmjow trailed before letting out a sigh. "Okay, something happened with Nel at the party yesterday."

Ichigo swallowed a large lump in his throat that formed with Grimmjow's words. "Oh my God, is she okay?" He asked urgently. He beat himself up for not remembering that Grimmjow was planning on going to the party with her the night before. He could have made sure she was okay, but instead they fell asleep on the couch together like nothing could possibly go wrong.

"No, she's fine. It's just…" Grimmjow trailed off again. "She may have slept with a guy, admitted that you two aren't dating and that you are gay." Grimmjow cringed, bracing himself for any attacks that may have come at him from Ichigo. He peeked upwards when he realized none have come instead he heard Ichigo sighing and placing a hand on his chest over his heart and lungs.

"What a relief." Ichigo sighed out in one breath. "She's okay, that's great." He dropped down on his bed causing it to squeak in response to his weight suddenly dropping heavily on it.

Grimmjow cocked his head. "Wait, you aren't angry?" He asked.

Ichigo shrugged and looked at him with genuine confusion on his face, propping himself on his elbow so that he could look at Grimmjow. "What's there to be mad about?"

Grimmjow shook his head. "She literally dropped the bomb and admitted that you are gay." Grimmjow reminded him, studying to see any changes to Ichigo's body language to see if maybe he missed that bit of information. There was no change though; in fact Ichigo didn't really care.

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders and took another deep breath before letting it out slowly. "I feel like I need to remind you this again. I never asked for your help. I never wanted it. If she admitted that I was gay then oh well. Everyone thought I was gay before so this isn't much different." He said that in an effort to reassure Grimmjow, but he was also saying it to himself. He honestly didn't know what to expect and didn't know what kind of backlash he would get or backlash that Grimmjow would get.

Grimmjow slouched as he was told this information again. "Does this mean that you regret everything?" Grimmjow asked.

Ichigo fixed his amber eyes to meet Grimmjow's blue ones and studied him. He had some kind of air of desperation that he couldn't make sense of. He didn't know what he was asking. It was a broad sentence that Grimmjow needed to elaborate on.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked lightly, unintentionally mimicking Grimmjow's own voice that was speaking to him softly as if he was some kind of hurt animal that he didn't fully know how to understand.

"Do you regret spending time with me? I mean me and Nel?" Grimmjow said correcting himself. "After school and at lunch, I forced you to spend time with us. Would things have been better if I never approached you at the party?"

Ichigo thought about it. If he asked him the same question a couple of weeks ago Ichigo's answer would have been completely different. He craved a normal life where he was far from the center of attention. He was fine with only having a few friends and having the faculty of the school like him. He enjoyed staying out of trouble and only having to deal with minor bullying from time to time. He enjoyed having time to read. He enjoyed having time after school to spend with Rukia so that he could really connect with someone his age, but now things were different. He got another taste of the forbidden fruit. He got to hang out with Grimmjow again and meet Nel. Despite both of their loud personalities that would sometimes result in a headache he liked them, he liked them a lot. He learned that there was more to the 'popular kids' then just some pretty faces or some athletic skills. They acted a certain way to put up a front. It was to look powerful, but they were still human. They grew to like him, realizing that him being gay wasn't the thing that defined him and he remembered why he and Grimmjow were friends for so many years despite their differences.

"No, I had fun." Ichigo said deciding to be honest. Speaking his mind was never his strong suit especially since Ichigo never gave himself a break when it comes to putting up a front like Grimmjow and Nel did. He was always good at keeping things hidden, but Grimmjow was the only person he knew that was able to bring that out of him, the will to pour out his emotions and be vulnerable. It wasn't exactly a skill that he had, rather it was his being. He couldn't bring himself to lie to him nor could he bring himself to be angry with him for a long period of time.

Grimmjow's head shot upward as if he wasn't expecting that answer. It should have been clear. Ichigo has been hiding out in the library less and less and didn't protest hanging out at school with him. He spent the night at Grimmjow's just the night before and demonstrated that he was okay with letting Grimmjow back into his life after a bit of boundary breaking. Heck even before this stupid plan took place he told him his biggest secret where Grimmjow was the last person he wanted to know. Yet he was fine confiding in him as if letting him know wasn't the worst thing in the world even if he was just trying to push him back. Even if he never out right said that he appreciated how things turned out it didn't mean that he didn't feel it.

Grimmjow quickly turned his head away and ran his fingers through his hair at a loss of what to say. There was a moment of silence before his eyes drifted over to his bag. "Oh yeah, I have something for you." Grimmjow said standing up and striding towards his bag, kneeling when he was there. He rummaged through it for a second before he pulled out a black book.

Ichigo scrunched his eyes, trying to get a better look of the mysterious book in his calloused hands. Grimmjow never gave him a book before if he didn't count _The Shining_ which he stole from him. Grimmjow held it above his head to display the cover while he closed his bag.

"Your teacher, what's-his-face gave me this to give to you." Grimmjow said lazily, not really looking at him when he talked.

"Ukitake?" Ichigo asked expectantly and jumped off of the bed when he saw Grimmjow nod in confirmation. He leaped with such great force that the covers that were on his bed leaked onto the floor, draping off the side, and flowing like a waterfall. He grabbed the little poetry book from his hands and collapsed with his legs pretzel style on the floor in front of him. He flipped through the pages, eyes beaming, eyes scanning the pages and their layout carefully before flipping to the page before, and then before that one.

Grimmjow groaned at Ichigo's reaction. "You don't need to act so goddamn excited." He said in a monotone voice, clearly unamused that he seemed so happy to get a gift from a teacher even if he did have a crush on him. "What's so great about that guy anyway?" He mumbled to himself more than to Ichigo.

Ichigo looked up slightly to glare at Grimmjow's last comment who just scowled in response. Grimmjow knew what that book meant to him so he didn't need to act so salty. He should be happy for him despite his displeasure for him having a crush on a male teacher. "Sorry that I like books and the fact that it came from him means that I will most likely like it." Ichigo explained flipping to the first page. His eyebrows scrunched together when he noticed the tear in the page. He examined both sides of the tear and traced his finger over the blunt, soft edge. Ichigo bit his lip slightly and hummed as he observed what was left of a page. "That's odd, Mr. Ukitake is always so careful with his books. I wonder why there is a page missing."

The room was silent for a little longer before Ichigo heard Grimmjow lifting his bag off of the floor. "I should go. Are you going to be fine without me?" Grimmjow asked as he opened the door slightly, already stepping out.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "There wasn't a need for you to stay in the first place." Ichigo deadpanned. "Don't look for reasons to skip school." He said picking himself off of the floor so that he could lie back on his bed with the poetry book in hand. The door shut behind Grimmjow and despite Ichigo not walking with him to the front entrance he could hear Grimmjow thump down the stairs and the front door closing behind him.

Ichigo slightly drew back the shades that covered his window over his bed. He watched Grimmjow walk over to his car. Before ducking under the roof of the car he snuck one last look over to Ichigo's room to see the boy himself watching him. A small smile appeared on his face and he raised his hand in a lazy wave, in a small gesture to say goodbye.

Ichigo rolled the shades back down and got back to the book in his hands. He bend the paperback book forward and back before reopening it to start indulging in the content. He could tell before even reading it that it was a poetry book without reading any of the content. From the comforting title to the page layout it was obvious what he was about to indulge himself with. He also knew how much Mr. Ukitake loved poetry and Ichigo will admit that he picked up poetry as well even though he preferred novels just so he had more things to talk about with him. That didn't mean that he didn't enjoy it. He did discover an appreciation and enjoyment that came from it.

The poetry varied in style and made him sigh as he felt himself relax as he studied the words, the meaning, the flow. Some of the poems were very simple and he could grasp a meaning from them immediately while some were a bit more complex yet still flowed just as nicely. He felt himself breathing rhythmically as he read the poems with varying themes of heartbreak, love, and raw emotions. He really should have lit some incense or scented candles before reading, but he was just so excited to look through the gift.

Some poems made him smile as he was reminded of his crush. He reached into the drawer that was connected to his bedside table and pulled out a pack of yellow post-its. He marked the poem that especially reminded him of his teacher that made him smile, but that smile turned into a frown when he read the next poem. The poem was relaxing and it made him feel just as relaxed as the other poems, but one thought in his own mind made him feel unhappy. The poem reminded him too much of Grimmjow.

Ichigo stitched his eyebrows together from the odd thought and decided to reach into the drawer again and pull out another pack of post-it notes, this one blue. His frown deepened as he marked that page with the blue note. He needed to be sure of himself; there was no way he was falling back into that. There had to be a reason why a poem like _that_ reminded him of his childhood friend. He read through the poems one after another and marked the pages. Yellow notes meant that the poem reminded him of Ukitake while blue meant Grimmjow. He read through the poems one after the other, getting completely lost in the words, but eyes swimming and hand reflexively reaching for post its to match the poems to what they made him think about. He was relaxed, but completely put on edge, a weird contradiction. He could hear his sisters coming home from school, but he didn't bother getting up to greet them.

He finished the book before he realized that he reached the end. He grimaced when he flipped through the pages again, recognizing the assortment of blue and yellow paper that made the book seem twice as thick. He counted the notes and then counted them again. That couldn't be right. He ended up quickly reading through the poems he marked again.

He heard his father enter the room to check to see if he was okay, knowing that he came back from school early because of the ulcer. He came back from the meeting earlier than expected, but still looked tired from having to talk to so many people he wasn't used to. He asked Ichigo a few questions concerning his health and even some questions about how Grimmjow was doing, knowing that he was the one who drove him home. Ichigo answered the questions quickly playing with the blue post-it note that marked the page while his dad was in the room, urging him to hurry up and leave.

When his father left he immediately picked up where he left off and started to read through the poems again. He grimaced while he read through the poems that he hasn't marked, hoping to assign them to someone just so he could even the odds. He had to be honest with himself; the poems that were left unmarked remained unmarked.

Ichigo cursed and counted the post-its again. This couldn't be right. He pulled out a notebook and started to make a point system. He classified the poems as costing different amounts of points. He bit his lips wishing that he had someone that he could throw this point system to, knowing that his opinion was bias. He thought about Rukia, but she was supposed to leave that night to visit her older brother for the weekend. If he showed this to Nel that would be a disaster and clearly Grimmjow was out of the question. He could show it to the librarian Nanao, she was always some kind of mother or big sister figure, but it was none of her business and it would be inappropriate to ask faculty for help for a personal matter that related to another student. Also she would scold him if she found out that Ichigo may have interest in someone that she deems below average. She was strict and she bases her interest in people on how much they enjoy reading.

He jotted down concrete rules to try to keep himself in check. He assigned rules on judging the kind of poetry, how many points a love poem was, or one on heart break, one that was about raw emotions, if they really spoke to him. He wrote exception rules on how to assign half points or if a poem deserved more points than it was assigned.

By the time he was finished jotting down the rules he was called down for dinner. He ignored Yuzu's calls, purely focused on covering any holes in his point system before he got a text from Grimmjow that read _'fucking eat something.'_

Ichigo sighed knowing that his father must have texted Grimmjow telling him that he didn't come down for dinner. He rolled his eyes at the thought of his dad knowing him well enough to text Grimmjow and using him as leverage and also how comfortable his dad was welcoming him back into their lives. Ichigo got off the bed, nearly falling over from his legs that he didn't realize were asleep from sitting cross legged on his bed for so long.

He walked downstairs with a particular poem repeating in his mind.

(Consistency)

"I asked for consistency and

you consistently destroyed

the best parts of me. I guess

I should have been a bit

clearer with what I was asking

for."

If Ichigo could sum up Grimmjow in a single poem it would be that one. He constantly asked Grimmjow to stay away, hell he pushed him away. He asked for one thing and he would get another yet there were times he would get the complete opposite. It irked him how similar his situation was in that poem and it irked him how he couldn't help coming back to Grimmjow despite him not really having an obligation to. They may have been childhood friends, but it wasn't like Grimmjow tried to keep their friendship after entering high school. Even if Grimmjow was tearing apart the life that he worked hard to build he couldn't keep himself away. He hated that even though the poem was negative it still made him think that part of this was his fault and Grimmjow wasn't to blame for anything.

He tells himself that, but there was no way that he could push him away. It irritated him that he knew that the poem was negative and that he should learn from it, but he still won't stay away. He may have not finished tallying the points yet, but the post-it notes were clear. There were definitely more blue notes then yellow. Those notes were him speaking from the heart, not his mind. Most of the poems reminded him of Grimmjow rather than Ukitake, even the simpler ones that were meant to invoke a small emotion tended to remind him of Grimmjow. He wasn't trying to be bias. If he was then Ukitake would have been winning and he would have ignored any of the blue post-its.

He growled as he thought about how such a small book could pull him over the edge like that. The thought of Grimmjow made his cheeks heat up or sigh making his sisters steal glances at him at the dinner table. Seriously, that gift was from Ukitake. He should be thinking about him when reading it, but his mind constantly drifted over to Grimmjow. For a book that was meant for him to relieve stress it was causing a large helping of it as it invoked emotions in him that he was trying hard to abandon.

His mind would then swing back and he would take a breath of relief when he reads another poem and it reminds him of his beloved teacher.

"I hope you know you are loved. I hope things get simpler for you, peaceful. Spend your days with easy breaths and soft words. Your deserve light through your windowsill. I hope it comes your way soon."

He is caring. He actually has concern for Ichigo without trying to stick his nose too far into his business while Grimmjow just decides to barge into it. He supports him from the sidelines while Grimmjow tries to actually get in as if it were some kind of game. Grimmjow wasn't meant to be a player, but he grabbed the ball and ran anyway and Ichigo didn't even try to stop him. Grimmjow is still holding onto the ball and running with it right now even if it did fumble for a moment.

Ichigo finished up his dinner and thanked Yuzu for the meal that was especially made to not hurt him from his ulcer before escorting himself back to his room so that he could get back to work. He read through the pages marked with the post-it notes a third time and started to mark the notes with the amount of points it gained and wrote it down in the notebook to keep track of how many points each man got.

It took hours to calculate the points and halfway through he groaned at the clear results that were being produced and his mood didn't improve after he finished. The numbers scribbled on the page made him grimace and pick up the book again to try and recalculate the numbers, but when he was finished the scores remained relatively the same. He groaned and looked at the clock. It was freaking three in the morning.

He laughed at the sick irony. He went home early because of malnutrition and an ulcer, but here he was staying up late and having to be reminded to eat by the very guy who has been concerning him enough to make him stay up late.

He threw his head down, slamming it onto his pillow. The impact made his bed squeak and the book hopped on the bed before falling back down. Ichigo turned his head to the side, allowing himself to breathe. His eyes half closed as he stared at the figure in front of his desk. It was Grimmjow's jacket. He forgot it when he was leaving the house earlier. Ichigo sighed as the small things in his room reminded him of him. His laptop that he didn't bother looking at after Grimmjow's mysterious activity, the clothes that was thrown on the floor carelessly from Ichigo that was borrowed from Grimmjow, the book that was now rubbing against his leg that was from Mr. Ukitake yet delivered by Grimmjow.

Ichigo sighed picking the book up as well as his notebook and post-it notes and placed them on his bedside table. He could deal with his new found/maybe emotions later, but right now he needed to get some sleep. He may have closed his eyes and rolled over, but his thoughts haunted him throughout the night making him lay wide awake with even more poems swirling around his head. At this point, despite the poetry in the book being relatively relaxing and enjoyable, he was really starting to get sick of it.

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 **A/N: If you want to help me out leave a review or favorite/follow. I'm going through some stress at school because the housing process is really annoying for gender neutral housing for some reason. Hearing that you guys like what I'm doing does miracles for my stress level.**


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry if it seemed like I took a long time to post this chapter. I'm worn down since I'm still not on Spring break, I'm stressed with making time for my D&D campaign, and I also picked up a Monster Hunter addiction so I was a bit distracted. I'm going to stop whining and making excuses because none of you care so I'm going to stop wasting your time. Enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter 9

Grimmjow wasn't sure what kept him from seeing Ichigo that weekend. His childhood friend was never the type to reach out. It was always Grimmjow who made plans and made him do something with his life rather than let him sit around reading. Seriously, that guy was too shy to make plans by himself and waits for others to reach out to him and even when they do he is still reluctant. Yet whenever he took out his phone to call Ichigo his fingers would freeze before he pressed anything. He never had that problem before. Whenever he wanted to hang out with someone people would make time to hang out with them. If he wanted to call a girl just to fuck her then he would do that and never call her back. Yet here he was getting nervous about calling someone that he knew since he was a kid and for a reason he couldn't understand himself.

He was fine with him; they spent time alone together on Friday even if Ichigo was asleep for most of the time he stayed. Heck he cut school just to spend time goofing around his room while he was asleep. Despite all his nosing around in his computer Grimmjow did not find any gay porn. He didn't know why he was looking for it, but he was curious and had to know where Ichigo's shyness ended. Was he even really gay? It was getting harder to believe that he was even if he knew that he had a crush on his teacher and even at one point had a crush on him, but Ichigo acted completely fucking normal, yet even normal people looked at porn. When he hung out with him he was just like he was when they were kids even if Grimmjow forced him to stay in bed. He was less awkward and surer of whom he was, but he was still the same guy he used to know. Nothing really changed about him. His voice didn't have that gay lisp. He didn't dress like he was gay. He didn't have posters of attractive male actors all over his room. He acted completely fucking normal and he couldn't get a read on him.

When he searched his computer all he found was school work, a list of book reviews that Ichigo wrote himself, and some comics. Those comics were the most scandalous thing on his computer and it was just some regular shounen manga, not even a hint of shounen-ai or even shoujo. Knowing Ichigo's living conditions there was no way he kept porn magazines either since his dad and sisters have a habit of barging into his room unannounced. So if he couldn't find anything on his computer after hours of searching then there was nothing there.

Then there was the fact that he felt guilty. He never feels guilty about anything, but he felt guilty now. He got over his plan about pretending he was straight failing. Shit happens and it wasn't his fault. He wasn't even guilty about forcing that plan on Ichigo from the start. Because of it he was able to get closer to Ichigo than ever before. Ichigo said he didn't regret it despite it being an inconvenience to him so that couldn't be where his guilt is coming from either.

He thought back to his immediate action after Ichigo said that he didn't regret the plan. He felt embarrassed after Ichigo said that. Why did he feel embarrassed? Wasn't Ichigo's answer the response he was hoping for? He should have been happy. He _was_ happy. It's just that he was angry with what he did after his conversation with Ichigo.

Yeah, he decided to give Ichigo the book. It wasn't suspicious since apparently Ichigo's stupid AP Lit teacher already lent him _Romeo and Juliet_ which Ichigo apparently returned to him about a week before. Maybe he shouldn't have given the book to Ichigo. Ichigo fell hard for this guy without even knowing whether he was gay or straight and the fact that he was a teacher didn't help. Yeah, he had a hot teacher before, but he never acted on that attraction. He only had fantasies about fucking her over her desk when class ended and resolved to keep a book on his lap while class was in session. Eventually he would get bored and move on with his life.

On the other hand this teacher knew how close Ichigo felt to him and he still gave him a gift. If the teacher asked him about it and he confronted him later about it he could lie and say that it slipped his mind and then give it to him. If Grimmjow isn't there to constantly make sure Ichigo doesn't act on his crush then he would end up being a laughing stock. It was a good thing he tore out the page with the letter written on it. It would have been even better if Ichigo hasn't recognized the missing page, but it seemed that he was more interested in the book itself. Despite it pissing Grimmjow off, he was safe and now he can add 'pulled off a perfect crime' to his extensive list of accomplishments.

The weekend passed with Grimmjow's fingers constantly hovering over Ichigo's contact info on his phone. The most he has spoken to Ichigo after leaving his house was when he texted Ichigo to remind him to eat and that was only because Ichigo's father texted him first. Ichigo's father kept his number after all these years and he knew how to use it to get his son to do what he wanted. He should have worked off of that and started a conversation with him, maybe then he could find out where these guilty feelings were coming from and what those other emotions dwelling inside of his head meant.

Every now and then his finger would click the message button and he would be able to send a quick text. He would message Ichigo randomly during the day just to see how he was doing, if he was eating normally or sleeping normally, but that was all he could bring himself to do and it wasn't helpful that all he got as a response was one word answers from Ichigo acting as if he wanted to end the conversation quickly. Grimmjow could have taken the initiative, but he couldn't find it in himself to push him nor himself.

When Monday rolled around Grimmjow himself felt cold feet walking into the school. Any other day he would stride right through the front door with his head held up high like he owned the place. Yet now he knew that word spread around like the plague that Ichigo wasn't actually straight or he and Nel aren't really dating. He wanted to snap at anyone who whispered the word 'fag' knowing full well that they were talking about his best friend. Who the fuck did these people think they were and who gave them the right to judge? Ichigo may be a homo and yeah, that fact still confused Grimmjow since he acted like a completely normal person. He knew Ichigo forever and even after he learned what he was he was not disgusted by him once. He may have made jokes or teased him, but he was never disgusted, not even after Ichigo confessed he was gay himself, or that he had a crush on his teacher, or that he once even had a crush on him. He couldn't stand to listen to people dehumanizing him. It made no sense to him how they can suddenly pretend to know who he is after never talking to him.

He unlocked his phone to see the short conversation he had with Ichigo that morning that confirmed that Ichigo was feeling better and planning to go to school. There was no way he was going to be able to make everyone give Ichigo the respect he deserved before he walked in today. All he could do was glare at random people he heard gossiping. Are other people all everyone cares about? People need to learn how to preoccupy themselves with their own lives before he takes it.

Grimmjow couldn't even stand his own friend group gossiping about what a shame it was that Ichigo was gay. He had so much potential to be popular and they all would have gotten along with him if he wasn't so disgusting. Nnoitra was the worst of the group. He said some things that made Grimmjow want to beat the shit out of him. He didn't want to get suspended from school by acting on his emotions. He got suspended once and the school faced an entire scandal because his father threatened to close it. Even though it was a public high school they didn't doubt his power. He didn't need that kind of negative publicity since he tried incredibly hard to keep his father's identity a secret. All he could do was clutch his fists and grind his teeth. His so called friends tried to question Grimmjow about why he was being so quiet, but friends wouldn't insult Ichigo like that. He eventually became overwhelmed with the shit people were spewing out of their mouths so he ended up storming off without saying a word.

The bell rang shortly after to remind people to go to their first period class. As Grimmjow sat in the back row his mind kept on drifting to Ichigo's first period class, the one with that teacher who gave him that book, that creep. That creep that Ichigo had a crush on.

He didn't care how attractive he was. That guy was bad news. What kind of teachers played favorites like that? He must have been trying to lead Ichigo on or something before knocking him down. Ichigo didn't act gay, but maybe he heard the rumors and decided to prey on him. He could have been flirting with Ichigo so that he could boost his own ego before throwing him away. Grimmjow knew that method. He used to do that too before he learned that he was worth way more than that. He didn't care who that guy preyed on as long as he stayed the fuck away from Ichigo. He was getting riled up just thinking about that tall white haired man. He got even angrier when he thought about all the times he has warned Ichigo yet he ignored him. He has gotten so angry that his teacher slowed down the lecture to silently observe him and even back away from him slightly while she was weaving between desks while she taught shit nobody cared about.

Lunch rolled around and as expected Ichigo was nowhere to be found. He may have tried not to make an impression on the student body and stay away from gossip, deeming it toxic, but he must have known by now how far this stupid rumor spread. Seriously, he couldn't go five minutes without hearing Ichigo's name. He actually started to look forward to class so that everyone could just shut up about him for one second.

He tried to block out sound, but he was never good at managing his temper. Some things in the background could stand out to him if it meant igniting his temper. An example would be the two assholes at the other end of the table. He could hear Nnoitra and Kenpachi snickering about how the fag was hiding in some closet somewhere. Yup, that part stood out to him more than any of the other shit he overheard throughout the day. His eyes widened before they turned into slits and his eyebrows nearly rested on top of them. He slammed his fist on the table and roared, grabbing everyone's attention in the cafeteria and making the people sitting around him flinch in surprise.

"Were you the ones who did that to him?" Grimmjow shouted. The room went quiet. He didn't care how everyone's eyes were on him. This wasn't the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last that everyone was staring at him expecting a show.

Nnoitra leaned back and rested his arm on the table, cocking his body back while his obnoxiously long hair fell away from his face slightly so that he could see Grimmjow clearly. "Oh, you know about that? I found it weird that you suddenly took interest in Kurosaki so quickly after that party." Nnoitra said without a shred of guilt in his voice.

Grimmjow gritted his teeth and resisted the urge to beat the shit out of him before he finished questioning him. "So you were really the ones spreading the rumors around?"

Nnoitra snorted and Kenpachi snickered. "Was Nelliel too drunk to remember that she was the one who told me that he was a fag?" Nnoitra raised his arms and shrugged, shaking his head. "Either that or Kenpachi fucked her so hard that she was disoriented. You can't trust a slut to keep a secret like that."

BAM.

Grimmjow slammed his fist into the table so hard that his fast was shaking. He pulled his fist off the table and his skin was white from the impact before it turned into a stinging red. He bit his lip so hard that he tasted blood and his vision was red and blurry. It took every cell in his body to make it so that his fist slammed the table instead of colliding with that bastard's nose. His hand was shaking with pain and anger while it hung from his side and stood up abruptly. He couldn't stay here any longer if he did there may have been bloodshed.

He looked over at Nel who was completely white in the face. She said nothing during that entire interaction despite her being attacked. Despite her not always acting like it she was smart. She knew better then to open her mouth because whatever she said it would only make Grimmjow angrier. He was angry about what they did to Ichigo, but he was even angrier about what Nnoitra mentioned what happened to Nel and even joked about it. The best thing she could do was remain mute. If she so much as defended herself Grimmjow would have been angry for her having to in the first place. If she stood up for Grimmjow and fought alongside him? He would have gotten angry at her for not letting him fight his own battles and only adding fuel to the fire. If she tried to comfort him and try to calm him down…well why he would have been angry would be obvious. He had every right to be angry and she couldn't say anything for the interest of bringing him back down to Earth and not coming off as hysterical.

Grimmjow stormed out of the cafeteria, eyes following him. Grimmjow tried his best to ignore the laughter that was coming from Nnoitra as he left, trying to provoke him. He won't let him get under his skin. He needed to find Ichigo.

The first place he went was the library. He was already familiar with it by now despite him never spending too much time in it. He walked in a lot louder then he usually would, the door slamming against the door stopper at full force. Eyes were on him for a moment before they quickly returned to what they were doing. The people who frequented there were already used to him and learned how to tune him out.

He went over to the table where he would usually find his childhood best friend, but the round table was left abandoned. Grimmjow gritted his teeth, scanning the aisles of book shelves, hoping to find Ichigo there picking his nose into each novel, wondering which one to take out this week, but the shelves were deserted. He sighed and went to his last resort.

He walked over and glared at the librarian. She looked over her glasses slightly from above her own book that she was preoccupying herself with and frowned slightly. She didn't say anything even when Grimmjow was standing in front of her desk, waiting for him to speak first.

"Do you know where Ichigo is?" Grimmjow asked, hating how he had to ask someone who clearly didn't like him for help.

She closed her eyes and adjusted her glasses. "I don't know why I should be telling you if I know where he is." She said. "In my opinion I think it is better that you keep your distance from him."

Grimmjow growled and rolled his eyes. Why does everyone want him to stay away from his childhood friend? They separate for a few years and now people act that they should never be together. "That's none of your business."

The librarian closed her book and placed it in front of her. She looked into his eyes and her piercing glare was strong enough to make a shudder run down his back. "I care about him." She said honestly while keeping the same hostility in her eyes. "All he wanted was to live a normal life yet you dragged him into the lime light."

Grimmjow huffed and crossed his arms, not backing down out of her hellish gaze. "What do you know?"

"I know about the rumor being spread around and I know that it wouldn't be as popular if you weren't involved." She said slowly as if Grimmjow wouldn't understand if she said it any faster. "You think I wouldn't know anything because I am faculty and am posted in a quiet place? Even if that is the case I still learned about it, that's how big of an issue this is."

Grimmjow sighed. He understands why she was upset, but he didn't get why she was acting like such a protective mom. She was right. This was partially his fault. If he harped on it for a while he could even find a way to blame the entire situation on himself, but dwelling on it for too long wasn't exactly going to change anything.

"Are you going to tell me where he is or not?" Grimmjow asked finally calming down. He was starting to get irritated with himself as his mind started to wander to other things he could have done to help Ichigo in the past. He could start by blaming himself for not thinking of Ichigo as normal when he learned he was gay or when he realized that Ichigo was completely fucking normal he could have just accepted the fact that he was gay and completely normal at the same time.

"I don't even know where he is myself." The librarian confessed turning her head to the door like she was waiting for him to walk in. "I sit here all day, genius."

Grimmjow growled at his wasted time in the library. He didn't have time to kick down every door in the bathrooms. He needed to think fast. He couldn't imagine Ichigo hiding in the bathroom stalls and the unused stairway was probably filled with smokers at this point since it was a lunch period and the security guards would have been on duty now. Where could Ichigo have gone if he wanted to be alone?

Grimmjow left without saying any form of goodbye to the librarian who has cared to share her concerns. He strolled down the empty hallways to find the back entrance of the school. It was barely used during this time since it leads to the fields that were used in after school activities by the sports teams. He walked through the track field and passed the football field where he used to play every day for afterschool practices and games before he got tired of playing the tedious game that offered no challenge. He also couldn't stand hanging out with some of the jocks without brains every day even if a few of them did manage to stick around.

Past the empty football field there was a large oak tree that the school never bothered cutting down. The coaches tried to get rid of it before they went to school, but some tree huggers would not hear any of it and protested its removal. Most of the time it was left abandoned, but it wasn't now. Underneath it he saw an orange head buried in a book while his body was scrunched together in the fetal position to protect against the slight wind.

Grimmjow applauded himself for finding him so quickly before he strode over like it was completely natural to be there during school hours. He hovered over the boy leaning against the tree who didn't seem to notice another presence until he was right next to him. Without looking up Ichigo scrunched up further in the fetal position and wrapped his arms around his head as if to shield himself from any kind of attacks.

"What are you doing?" Grimmjow asked, studying Ichigo's new position.

Ichigo unshielded himself slightly so that he could peek at Grimmjow through his arms. He pulled his arms down and looked at him in shock as if he wasn't expecting to see him of all people there. He quickly relaxed and closed his book, using his finger as a bookmark. "Someone tried to beat me up on my way to school." Ichigo confessed to justify his reaction to Grimmjow sneaking up on him.

Grimmjow's eyebrows scrunched together and a snarl formed on his lips. He didn't exactly like how the first thing his childhood best friend said to him today was an admission that someone attacked him. "Who was he?" Grimmjow asked. "I can take care of him."

Ichigo shook his head. "Nope, I already took care of him." He said before Grimmjow can take off in any opposite direction and beat up anyone he suspected. "Quit underestimating me. He didn't even report me knowing he would get in trouble if he did. He also may have wounded his pride because he lost a fight with a fag like me." Ichigo said with air quotes at the end.

Grimmjow relaxed his muscles at Ichigo's reassurance. "Don't call yourself that even as a joke." He was used to standing up for him and thinking of him as weaker after he learned that he was gay that he forgot that Ichigo knew how to hold himself in a fight. He was typically on equal footing whenever they wrestled with each other when they were younger and when there were bullies on the playground Ichigo was able to scare them off just as well as Grimmjow was. He would love to see what that guy looked like after trying to ambush a firecracker like Ichigo. He needed to keep his eyes open for a guy wandering the hallway with a probably broken nose, black eye, and a limp.

"Are you okay?" Grimmjow asked after picturing the collateral damage that may have come from picking the wrong opponent.

Ichigo shrugged. "If there is any bruising then it should be all under my clothes. I didn't exactly have time to check."

There was a moment of silence before Grimmjow said "Show me."

Ichigo looked over at him suspiciously. "What do you mean?" He asked despite seeming to know what Grimmjow was asking. Grimmjow himself was curious why he was so concerned with what was under his shirt.

"Let me see if you have any bruises," Grimmjow said as if it were completely normal, "so strip."

Ichigo shook his head. "I'm not taking my clothes off to show you." Ichigo said turning slightly red in the ears. "It's embarrassing and it's way too cold out."

Grimmjow shrugged, remembering that Ichigo was never on an athletic team so he never really changed in front of a large group of guys unless it was for gym class. He remembered a bunch of guys showing each other their injuries after a game and that one guy who found it funny to smack every bruise he saw on one of his teammates. His team had Kenpachi and he had a terrible sense of humor. He especially seemed fond of touching his for some reason, always running to him first. He didn't think much of guys sharing their injuries in an effort to look tough, but he could understand why Ichigo shied away.

Grimmjow observed Ichigo's position. He was hunched over himself and his hands were a little pink from the cold, hiding under his arms in an effort to bring heat to them. Without realizing what he was doing Grimmjow unzipped his sweater and handed it over revealing his tight t-shirt and muscular biceps. The cold wind bit him immediately, causing his arms to tense up and it made him wonder how Ichigo was able to tolerate staying outside so long without his jacket.

He handed his sweater over that was still heated up by his body and Ichigo took it hesitantly. "Thanks, some guys were waiting by my locker so I didn't bother getting mine." He said as he slipped his arms through the sleeves and zippered it up so that the zipper was nearly touching his lips.

Grimmjow's eyes scrunched close as he started to write a list in his head of people he needed to beat up. He didn't even know who most of these people were yet his fists wanted to acquaint themselves with their faces. Grimmjow shook his head to get rid of the violent thoughts as he sat on the cold, damp ground along with Ichigo.

The air was nipping at his bare skin so he scooted next to him so that their shoulders were rubbing against each other. His body heat helped warm him up as he wondered why he volunteered his sweater without giving it much thought. Ichigo seemed to understand what Grimmjow was intending to do so he scooted closer intentionally so that their bodies were flush against each other.

There was a peaceful silence as the wind blew through their hair, making Grimmjow's stick up in weird places. Ichigo didn't indulge himself in the book he has brought with him before, simply enjoying the friendly company. This must be one of the best interactions Ichigo has had all day considering the shit that he must have been going through. He wasn't used to the hostility and he may have looked like he was taking it like a champ, but Grimmjow knew he was getting worn out pretty quickly. Grimmjow scrunched his nose as he tried to ponder a way to make it up to him and find a way to fix everything so that things would be normal, but nothing came to mind.

Grimmjow leaned even further into Ichigo causing him to wince and back away slightly before letting him relax again. Grimmjow moved his weight to the other side, figuring that Ichigo moved away since he leaned on a sore spot that was inflicted with some kind of injury that was given to him that morning.

After a few more moments of silence Ichigo decided to break it. "How did you even find me here?" He asked referring to the spot they were now sitting. The leaves swayed as the wind rustled through them, causing a few colored ones to sway through the air and fall in front of them.

Grimmjow shrugged. "I couldn't find you in the library so I figured that you would be here. I remembered that you used to sit here afterschool while I was at practice so I just guessed that you would be here."

Ichigo shook his head and sighed. "You know there is an easier way of finding me. It's by a magical device called a cell phone."

Grimmjow was silent for a moment before he burst into laughter for not even thinking about it. He was so distraught about what happened in the cafeteria that he couldn't think about using common sense. Just sending a text would have avoided so much drama. He felt like such an idiot. A smile crept up on Ichigo's face and he started to shudder with silent laughter that never escaped him as well. Grimmjow felt his vibrations against his arm causing his smile to remain wide even after they both finished laughing.

"Okay, I'll admit that I'm a dumbass." Grimmjow said raising his hands in defense. "But you have to tell me why you are so attached to this spot."

Ichigo shrugged. "I'm not particularly attached to it. It's just that the library closed afterschool on Fridays and sometimes I don't feel like going home so I stayed here."

Grimmjow leaned forward so that he was a few inches from Ichigo's face before the smile on his face turned into a smirk with his eyes shining in a devious light. "Are you sure it wasn't because you can see me practice right there?" He said gesturing with his head towards the field.

Ichigo jolted against him and immediately stilled himself, but it was too late and Grimmjow already felt it. His face was pink and he avoided eye contact while Grimmjow tried his best to keep himself from laughing again. Grimmjow could feel just from being against him that his heart was racing. He has known Ichigo for years and he has always had some kind of power to see through him when he was hiding something. How has he not realized that Ichigo used to have a crush on him until he said it himself? It just seemed hard to believe that someone so close to him can change so subtly without him realizing it.

"M-maybe, but it was mostly because it was a quiet place to read." Ichigo defended himself. Grimmjow couldn't keep himself from laughing as Ichigo's face turned even redder with every snicker he made.

"Yeah, football practice is quiet, so is a rock concert." Grimmjow said sarcastically. "You know I would stop teasing you if you just admitted that you just came to watch me practice." He said poking at Ichigo's side, causing Ichigo to flee slightly in fear of those pokes tickling him or touching another bruise.

"No you wouldn't." He said pushing Grimmjow's finger away from his body.

"Yeah, you're right."

Ichigo groaned and leaned his head back against the hard tree before the groan turned into a long sigh. "I can't believe I told you that I used to have a crush on you." Ichigo mumbled. "You are never going to let me live it down."

Grimmjow shook his head. "I take it as a compliment." He said with a slight bow in his head.

He wasn't lying. For some reason he wasn't grossed out after hearing that Ichigo used to have a crush on him. Most homophobic guys always preach that the reason they don't like gay guys was because they think that they want to get in their pants. Those guys were just flattering themselves and couldn't get girls to sleep with them either. After learning that Ichigo used to have a crush on him he wasn't scared in the least. The thought it was weird at first just because it was hard for him to comprehend that he was really gay. Ichigo confessing that he used to have a crush on him was the first time he truly understood where Ichigo was coming from and he was surprisingly okay with it. He didn't know why because if it was anyone else he would have had a negative reaction, but this was Ichigo.

The guys who were scared of gays because they were afraid of getting hit on knew nothing. Grimmjow was so used to people having crushes on him that the fact that Ichigo may have been interested at him at one time didn't fully register. The thing that did register is the fact that Ichigo was apparently no longer interested. If anything that was the part that bothered Grimmjow the most. He needed to get his pride from somewhere and it seemed that Ichigo wasn't interested in giving him any, but that's why it was so fun to tease him.

"How the hell is that a compliment?" Ichigo asked cocking his eyebrow.

The question remained unanswered as they sat in silence again and though it started off a bit awkward it soon became a comfortable moment and Grimmjow could feel Ichigo relax against him. The cold no longer bothered him as they shared body heat and their heartbeat synched. Eventually Grimmjow checked his phone and groaned. "Our lunch period is going to end soon so we should probably get going." He said despite not making any movement to pick himself up off the ground.

He looked over at Ichigo who hasn't made any attempt to move either. He looked over at Grimmjow and lightly said "I don't feel like going back in there."

Grimmjow was silent for a second before sighing and putting his phone back into his back pocket. "Yeah, me neither."

He leaned against his half of the oak tree and looked back up at the sky falling back into that comfortable silence, meditating on the feeling of Ichigo's breath rising and falling, his chest expanding from his lungs. He could feel all of this without even looking at him, and having Ichigo so close to him made him relaxed yet he also felt so jittery. He was excited to have quiet peaceful moments together rather than the usual teasing and arguing even if he enjoyed those moments too. Heck, he enjoyed any time he spent with Ichigo.

Neither of them moved even when their butts became as cold as ice from sitting on the damp ground for too long or when their feet fell asleep for staying seated in the same position without adjusting in fear of making the other uncomfortable. They didn't bother to get up until they heard voices that came from the football team coming out for afterschool practice.

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 **A/N: Remember to review since it is the best way to tell me that you are reading and enjoying the chapter. Follows and favorites are wonderful, but after a while it just feels like a number. Reviews makes authors feel truly special.**


	10. Chapter 10

I apologize profusely in advance, also sorry for the wait and the likely longer wait after this chapter. Finals are annoying.

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Chapter 10

It turned out that his first day back wasn't so bad. Yeah the first half completely sucked in a way that no one should ever experience. He was ambushed on the way to school by some punk who thought he was better than him. Ichigo may have suffered some bumps and bruises, but the other guy was the one who ended up on the floor. He was surrounded by weird looks and whispers throughout the entire day that hushed as he walked by, but started up again as soon as he passed. By the time he got to his first period he was already considering going home.

He hid himself in his arms as he leaned forward on his desk. Even when Rukia tried to get his attention he ended up brushing her off. She was there on Friday when the rumors first started yet she didn't text him to warn him beforehand. She tried to explain that she was more worried about his health and didn't want to put any more stress on him, but he ignored her, too wiped out to hear her explain herself. If he was in any other state he would have probably appreciated the sentiment. Why couldn't she just talk about her trip to her brother's instead of keeping the attention on him?

To add onto his stress there was the fact that Mr. Ukitake was teaching his first period class. His mind already started to welcome back the weird thoughts about the poems that reminded him of his teacher the moment he walked into the room later than he usually would. It would have been fine if he just thought about the poems about Mr. Ukitake, but as collateral his mind kept on drifting to the poems about Grimmjow as well. Maybe he shouldn't have come back to school. He could already feel himself getting another ulcer or was that just another stomach ache.

Over the weekend he stayed far away from Grimmjow, not out of spite, but because his mind kept on drifting to forbidden lands. Grimmjow was courteous enough to texted him when he wanted to check in on him, but all Ichigo could manage was one word answers because his mind kept on pondering about whether his crush was reawakened before he rejected the thoughts and threw himself in the lands of self-hate.

His heart would skip a beat whenever his name appeared on his phone before Ichigo immediately scolded himself for not being true to his actual crush. He was such a shitty friend, clearly Grimmjow was worried about him and he should have been happy and talk to him as a response, but all he could do as defense against himself was push him away.

He decided to confide in Rukia when he got back and they were able to hang out again, but it seemed that the rumor running rampant at full force caught her eyes first. He knew it would happen since it was always a big deal when someone was found out to be gay. If a rumor was spread that he was actually a secret agent or an assassin it would not have spread nearly as fast as this one was.

For half the day he was subjected to everyone staring at him. He wanted to shout out for everyone to stop, but he was too emotionally exhausted to even bother and didn't want to draw any more attention to himself or worse, risk adding fuel to the fire. Once he got to lunch he caught himself automatically walking to the cafeteria where he spent the last few weeks with Grimmjow and Nel. He was pretty sure that his invitation has been revoked at this point. He considered going to the library, but he was tired of everyone looking at him and knew that even if he went to the library he would be subjected to that so he went to the first place that came to his mind to escape everyone's gaze.

It was cold outside, but a few guys who seemed to have nothing better to do seem to be occupying themselves by his locker with intentions that Ichigo could only assume and he didn't exactly feel like dealing with them. Seriously, now everyone seemed to know where to find him after even though no one ever went looking for him during the entire time he went to school there.

Ichigo just sighed and travelled through a different hallway to get to the back exit. He walked through the empty track field and football field to get to the oak tree that he has spent hours under in the past. It was chilly outside so he found himself bringing the rest of his body closer when he pulled out a book to indulge himself with while he waited for the period to end.

He was only a few pages into the new novel when a shadow casted above him. Instinctively Ichigo curled his body into a tighter ball. He has already been attacked earlier that day and he wasn't exactly in the position to defend himself.

He was more relieved than embarrassed to find that Grimmjow was the one hovering over him instead of another attacker, well sort of. His mind shot to the poems that reminded him of Grimmjow before he forced them down so that he could act normally in front of him. He hoped he was acting normally. He couldn't really tell anymore.

Grimmjow questioned him as he always did, and threatened to beat up the guy who attacked him that morning before making a request to see Ichigo's bruises. Ichigo didn't exactly have time to check his own body for damage, but he definitely felt sore in some places and that probably warranted attention. Attention that was meant for him to give, not Grimmjow. He didn't need to show Grimmjow his body. He was too shy for that and it was none of his business no matter how much he tried to convince him that it was. He seriously wished that Grimmjow could go back to acting like an asshole because it was harder to deny his growing feelings when he was actually acting like a good guy. Another poem shot to his head that was a little more on the nose and he forced his attention on the leaves that were changing color above him.

When he blurted out an excuse on why he didn't want to show Grimmjow he ended up getting his sweater. As soon as the sweater was handed over to him he realized just how cold he actually was when the fabric made contact with his skin and quickly put it on. His sweater was warm from his body heat and it smelled like him. It felt like he was getting an indirect hug from him and he sighed as he leaned back to apply more pressure to his own body. Then Grimmjow sat with him and leaned up against him supplying even more warmth and even more contact. He couldn't tell if the warmth was from Grimmjow or his own shyness causing his heart to pound faster and his face to heat. He hoped that Grimmjow couldn't feel his heart beat like a drum or at least he hoped that his face wasn't as pink as a sunset. If it was then Grimmjow didn't say anything and continued to tease him. He took deep breaths to calm his own heart and he could feel Grimmjow pick up the same rhythm of his expanding and contracting chest. As he inhaled he was able to smell the scent of Grimmjow's shampoo in the air.

Ichigo remembered sitting under that tree on Fridays after school. It wasn't a complete lie that he sat there practically every Friday during his freshman year when he had practice because the library was closed, but he wasn't there just seeking a peaceful place to read. Even if the entire team's uniforms looked the same and they were wearing helmets that covered their faces Ichigo was always able to single Grimmjow out. He didn't know too much about American football except for the basics, but Grimmjow was clearly the best player. He always won the practice games and seemed the least wiped out after every drill. He found himself sitting there even when the library was open just to get another look to see how his old friend was doing, only slightly hoping that he will one day go over and talk to him. He never told Grimmjow that even while they sat there as time flew by. He was unnoticeable and Ichigo was fine leaving it at that. He told himself that he was fine and it made sense that they were in different worlds now. People move on and that was part of life so maybe it was time for him to start thinking about doing it himself.

Their time sitting together was peaceful and Ichigo was eventually able to temporarily stop the war that was going on in his mind as he just sat back and enjoyed Grimmjow's company. Despite the weather being cold the sky was clear and the wind wasn't too harsh, only slightly blowing in the same direction they were facing causing the leaves to rustle, yet left them unphased. It was nice out and he was able to zone out with little thoughts distracting him. It's been a long time since he relaxed like that.

Grimmjow knocked him out of space when he told them that the period was almost over and Ichigo allowed himself to admit that he didn't want to go back inside. He was tired of the bullying and people treating him differently so he just wanted to stay where it was quiet. How could he not wish for the peace to be left alone with Grimmjow to last? Sadly things were meant to come to an end, or so he thought. He was ready to give Grimmjow his sweater back so that he could go alone, but to his surprise Grimmjow agreed with him and joined him in cutting class. Usually Ichigo would yell at him to not cut class, but he couldn't pretend to not be happy or at least a bit more a peace.

They chatted about the past and Grimmjow complained about how he realized for the hundredth time that his friends were assholes. He scolded Ichigo for not telling him that Nnoitra was the one who bullied him that day. Ichigo apologized realizing that it really bothered Grimmjow more than he thought even when he explained that he didn't intend to create drama in their friendship. He didn't want to infect any of Grimmjow's supposed friendships with his presence, but it seemed that Grimmjow would rather have that then tolerate anyone who has wronged him. Just the idea of Grimmjow siding with him over a guy who was more popular than him made him blush, hopefully not enough for Grimmjow to notice though.

A lot of times they just fell silent. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. They just quietly enjoyed each other's company and the weather that wasn't that bad for the time of year. Ichigo never had the need or desire to reopen his book and he eventually stashed it away in his bag where it belonged. They only realized how much time has passed when the football team started to come out for practice. Grimmjow immediately grabbed a hold of Ichigo's hand and pulled him up from where he was standing. Ichigo scooped up his bag and allowed himself to get dragged by Grimmjow, hand clamming up from Grimmjow's light grasp.

Ichigo looked down to hide the blush on his face. He wanted to believe that Grimmjow was dragging him out because he wanted to protect him from the team, but it was more likely Grimmjow wanted to avoid them himself. Both Nnoitra and Kenpachi were on the team even if Grimmjow himself quit. Ichigo has heard an earful of his rant about them, but he still liked to pretend that Grimmjow still made protecting Ichigo like he did when they were younger a priority at least somewhat.

Ichigo pulled his arm away cursing as he reached into his own pocket to check his phone. It was getting late. He was supposed to tutor Harribel after school. He can be angry at himself later for cutting class for half the day, but he was pretty sure his teachers would forgive him since they all like him and the rumor has been so popular that the faculty has been pulling him aside after class to see if he was okay. He still had obligations to his own student though. He was getting paid after all.

"I need to go Grimmjow." Ichigo said. "I need to tutor someone."

"Really who gets tutored so early in the year?" He asked. "It's not like midterms are any time soon."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Some people actually try hard to get into college."

Grimmjow groaned at the passive aggressive remark. "Yeah, but it's only October."

Ichigo shrugged before taking Grimmjow's sweater off even when his mind protested and said goodbye to Grimmjow as he lightly jogged back inside so that he could meet up with Harribel in their usual place inside the library. He sat at their usual table and pulled out his notebook that was filled with notes and practice problems he prepared for her. He waved to Nanao who seemed to want to talk to him, probably about the rumor, but he brushed her off promising to confide in her later. He was tired of hearing himself say that he was fine a million times especially when he really wasn't. When you say the same thing a million times in a row it started to sound weird.

He sat there for 20 minutes reading, ignoring the glances casted his way by his fellow stragglers before he checked his phone. Harribel was late usually, but she was never that late. He unlocked his phone to see that there was a message that he has missed.

"Hey Ichigo, sorry I can't make it today. I still like you, but I want to keep my distance until this rumor calms down. I hope you understand. I will contact you when I need you again."- Harribel

Ichigo sighed. She was honest, but he still wasn't exactly happy. Tutoring was his only way of making an income and his father wasn't exactly planning on giving him an allowance despite how hard Ichigo works in school. Not only that, but he could have bothered Grimmjow for a ride home, but he probably left a long time ago so he now had to walk home.

It's been a long time since he walked from school to his house. It left him time to think. His mind kept on drifting towards Grimmjow and their time they spent together when they should have been in class and how it made him feel normal before being reminded that he was the odd one out. Seriously, Harribel was a really good student who has taken a liking to him, enough to request him to go to her birthday party. Things would have been so different if he never went. He dragged his feet until he reached his bed. He landed face first in it and buried himself inside of his pillow, letting out a long breath that he didn't realize he was holding.

He was upset. It was hard for him to not be upset. The first thing he thought to do to make himself feel better was to text Grimmjow. He wrote to him telling him what happened in a long rant. Grimmjow texted back almost immediately saying that he should have texted him earlier since he would have given him a ride home. Apparently he hasn't left the school yet for some reason and would have been able to give him a ride or even hang out with him longer.

"She's a bitch" Grimmjow told him. He said that, but Ichigo had a hard time accepting that. Her actions may be inconsiderate, but she cares about her reputation and she doesn't have any obligation to defend Ichigo nor was she obligated to accept him as a tutor. Maybe he was saying this because he and Harribel broke up. He maybe didn't realize her point of view. Maybe Ichigo was just making excuses to justify her actions.

Ichigo put his phone to the side and let out another long breath and relaxed into his mattress. He wished that he could spend even more time with him. If he didn't leave to tutor he would have gotten away with staying with him longer. He inhaled deeply. He still smelled slightly like Grimmjow from when he was wearing his sweater. He crumpled his body up a little so that he could smell it even more.

He turned his head to the side to see Grimmjow's jacket draped over the back of his chair that was placed in front of his desk. He forgot that Grimmjow left it there when he left his house of Friday. Without realizing it he found himself standing to his feet to lift the jacket off the back of his chair and falling on the bed with it held up to his nose. Yup, he has become that weirdo who was now sniffing his clothes and he completely hated himself for it. He couldn't deny it anymore. He had a crush on Grimmjow again. Fuck, he seriously hated himself and his self-destructive tendencies.

He was never planning to act on his crush, but there was no harm in doing stuff like that if he admitted it to himself right? Wrong he knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself. He was being such a creep and he didn't know what Grimmjow would think if he knew that he did stuff like this even if he has never done something like this before.

He relaxed into his sweater as he lay in his bed. The smell reminded him of when he and Grimmjow fell asleep on the couch together. The smell was comforting and it was only slightly uncomfortable as something alien poked at his hip. Ichigo shifted as he tried to avoid the bulge in Grimmjow's jacket pocket before he got fed up with it and picked himself up to remove the contents.

Ichigo reached into the pocket to pull out a crumpled up piece of paper. The smart thing to do would be to remove it, continue cuddling, and then put the paper back when he was finished as if he never touched it. The nosy thing to do would be unfold the paper and find out what it was. It was too small to be a paper from school so it couldn't be a crumpled up test grade. As soon as Ichigo unraveled the paper he felt an instant shock to his heart and he regretted indulging his curiosity immediately.

He recognized Mr. Ukitake's handwriting on the paper that was written for him and traced the side of the paper where it was torn. Ichigo grabbed a hold of the book that Ukitake gave him that was resting on his bedside table and flipped to the front page. He held the page to the remains of the first page. The tear marks matched. He knew it was suspicious that there was a page missing! Ichigo read the letter and nearly sobbed out in frustration. He should have known. Grimmjow will always be an asshole who hurts him unintentionally, but he didn't expect him to be a liar too.

He confided in him and even though he knew that Grimmjow had a hard time excepting that Ichigo had a crush on his teacher he still knew how much he liked him. This was such a blatant betrayal that he couldn't bring himself to be happy about the beautifully written letter on the page that was meant to be an inscription for him to read. Ichigo looked through the inscription before holding it to his chest. 'Love' it was signed with 'love' and Grimmjow still decided to tear it out. After all the shit he has been through, did Grimmjow even want him to be happy? Ichigo was tempted to tear out every blue post-it in the book, but instead he enclosed the page back where it belonged and put the book into his bag.

He threw his bag over his shoulder again, grabbed Grimmjow's jacket, and stomped out of his room and down the stairs without bothering to call out to his father that he was leaving. He nearly ran back to school despite just coming home hoping that Mr. Ukitake was still there.

As he turned the corner into the school he spotted Grimmjow walking over to his car. It looked like he was leaving. Part of Ichigo wanted to look for Mr. Ukitake, but the other part of him wanted to run over to Grimmjow and give him a piece of his mind. He listened to the later part.

He ran over to Grimmjow who looked at him curiously knowing that Ichigo was just home moments before. He looked even more confused about why he looked so angry and why Ichigo suddenly punched him in the arm incredibly hard.

He let out a low pained sound at the impact and held on to his probably now bruised arm, shooting a glare at the panting Ichigo who clearly ran all the way there from his house.

"What the fuck, Ichigo?" He asked.

Ichigo threw Grimmjow's jacket at his face and tore open his own backpack and opened the book inside taking the inscription out. Grimmjow turned pale as the page was shoved in front of his face after he removed his jacket, throwing it over his shoulder. "How could you do this? You knew how much this meant to me!" Ichigo shouted before putting it back into the book and sealing it in his bag. He closed his fists so tight that his knuckles were white; his right fist a little whiter against the pink fist that he used to punch him.

"I can explain." Grimmjow said weakly holding his hands up, ready to block any more blows Ichigo was going to deal him.

"Oh please do." Ichigo said throwing his arms up and leaning towards Grimmjow as if he was currently trying to figure out what the best method would be to bite his head off.

There was silence as Grimmjow shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he considered how he was going to dig himself out of the hole he put himself in. Luckily he didn't incur anymore of Ichigo's wrath as he pulled away and stormed off, not wanting to give Grimmjow anymore of his time. He needed to find Mr. Ukitake after all.

Grimmjow chased after him and Ichigo could feel his frustration growing as he felt his wrist tugged back. "Wait, where are you going?" Grimmjow asked.

Ichigo looked back at him with daggers in his eyes and teeth gritted. "I'm going to confess to Mr. Ukitake."

Grimmjow blinked in surprise and he pulled Ichigo back so that his back was practically against his chest. "Don't do it." Grimmjow said urgently holding his wrist tightly causing his arm to hurt.

Just an hour ago Ichigo would have welcomed the contact between him and Grimmjow, but all it did now was infuriate him even more. "Why shouldn't I?" Ichigo asked with as much bitterness in his voice as raw cocoa powder. He wiggled his arm loose from Grimmjow's grip and proceeded to stomp away.

There was more hesitation and all it did was irk Ichigo even more before Grimmjow came up with an answer. "He's way older then you and he's a teacher." Grimmjow suggested. "Also if he turns you down you're still going to need to sit in his class."

Ichigo barely processed the reasons Grimmjow listed off. He already thought off all of that, of course he thought this was a stupid idea. He played out the confession in his head a million times before Grimmjow even knew about his crush on his teacher. He knew the risks and he knew his chances.

"I'm still going to do it." Ichigo said storming away from Grimmjow ignoring him calling out his name while he trailed behind him.

Ichigo marched back to his first period classroom where Ukitake typically hung out after school. He hoped that he was still there. Luckily he was. He was sitting in his usual spot in front of the classroom, chatting with a grown man with black spikey hair that Ichigo has never seen before. He was casually dressed so he couldn't have been a faculty member that he has never seen before, but Ichigo's concern about the man decreased almost as soon as it rose. It didn't matter if that guy saw; he needed to confess to Mr. Ukitake. He needed to do this now while he was still sure of himself.

"Hold on." Grimmjow called out still trying to get Ichigo's attention despite him being blatantly ignored

Ukitake looked over to see the loud teenager accompany his favorite student into the classroom. Mr. Ukitake smiled widely and his eyes shined as he recognized his passionate favorite student that seemed to make every day better for him.

"Good afternoon, Ichigo." He beamed. "Oh, and your friend is here too." He said seemingly not bothered by the other's presence despite Grimmjow's clear dislike for him.

As soon as he saw his teacher's innocent smile his words worked its way to the back of his throat as he struggled to catch his breath now realizing just how much he has run. Mr. Ukitake's warm welcome made him blush as he tried to find the right words while he tried not to get distracted by Grimmjow's clear displeasure.

"I'm so glad that you are here! There's someone I want you to meet." Mr. Ukitake said gesturing to man next to him. He pulled the man closer to him and hugged him tightly against his side bonking his head against the man's who just blushed deeply. "This is my fiancé!"

Ichigo swallowed deeply and became incredibly pale before turning bright red. He was at a loss for words as he watched his teacher cuddle up affectionately against the other man like a puppy.

"I asked him to come because I heard the rumor about you and I thought a little moral support would help cheer you up. Things may be hard now, but even people like us can have a happy ending." Ukitake said never letting go of his fiancé. "I thought I would find you in the library tutoring, but you weren't there. I guess you left early. I'm so glad that you came to find me before we left."

Words stuttered their way out of Ichigo's mouth as he processed his world tumbling around him before rebuilding it. "Y-yeah, it's nice to meet you and congratulations." He said. "W-will you excuse me?" Ichigo said before dashing out of the room.

Grimmjow looked from Ukitake to Ichigo and followed behind him, jogging so he could try to keep up with him. "Hey Ichi, wait." He panted. "Dammit, when did you get so fast?"

Ichigo threw open the back entrance to the school. The fields were empty, probably going to a game or they were doing drills elsewhere. He didn't care. When did it get to be so late? How long was Mr. Ukitake waiting at school with the slight hope that Ichigo would come find him? He leaned against the oak tree and let out a sigh, covering his eyes and dropping his bag at his feet.

Grimmjow came to a stop and walked up to the tree slowly. He tried to look around Ichigo's arm that covered his face to make out any sort of expression.

"Hey Ichi, don't be sad." Grimmjow tried. He pressed his head against the tree and looked over at Ichigo while he tried to catch his breath. "It's not the end of the world and it is unlike you to cry."

Ichigo pulled his arm away from his face to reveal that not a single tear has fallen from his eyes. He actually looked completely fine. A smile stretch across his face and he started to laugh which seemed to have caught Grimmjow off guard.

"I'm not sad." Ichigo explained. "I'm just so damn happy."

Grimmjow gave him a worried look as if he believed that Ichigo has finally lost it. Ichigo recognized the look and shook his head trying to contain the giggles that were trying to leave his lips. He couldn't believe the way he was feeling either.

"He was gay. I wasn't sure, but he was. He didn't think that I was gross." Ichigo said with a sigh of relief. "And have you noticed that his fiancé looked just like me? He could have been some kind of long lost relative with that kind of resemblance, and they looked so good together."

Grimmjow looked at him cautiously as Ichigo replayed the memory of Mr. Ukitake's incredible smile and the way he clutched the other man in his mind. The large grin on Ichigo's face was twitching as he tried to regain his composure so he could try to recover his signature scowl.

"So you aren't upset?" Grimmjow asked picking his head up slightly off the tree and leaning a little closer to Ichigo.

Ichigo shook his head. "A little, but it's hard to be heartbroken when I know that he tried so hard to make me feel better." He said. "Did you read the inscription? He really does care about me, it may not be the love that I wanted, but it was enough to get his fiancé to come over so that he could disclose the fact that he's gay too. He stayed after school for so long to look for me. How can I be sad?"

Ichigo was surprised even with himself. He never thought the first time getting his heart broken would feel like this. He was giddy and he felt more at peace then anything he has felt since the rumor about him being gay spread. When he thought of possible outcomes to his confession he never thought this would be one of them. He never knew that rejection could feel so good.

The air was still and it occurred to Ichigo just how alone the two of them were. It was calm unlike when they were outside earlier, both of their emotions ran high, but now it was starting to set. The leaves on the oak tree seemed more colorful then it was before making a more beautiful atmosphere even if it was the only tree separating the fields.

"I'm so glad." Grimmjow sighed in relief.

Ichigo cocked his head at him, wondering why he should be the one glad. This entire time he portrayed the complete opposite. He tried to stop him from confessing and made a huge scene which probably ended up embarrassing Ichigo.

"I'm so glad that he's engaged." Grimmjow elaborated.

"I know you don't like him for some reason, but why are you so happy about that?" Ichigo said.

Grimmjow leaned forward, resting the palm of his hand on Ichigo's cheek before bringing himself closer. He rested his forehead against Ichigo and ran his fingers through his hair. Ichigo felt his face heat up under Grimmjow's crystal gaze that was shimmering like a lake during the summer time. Ichigo wanted to ask what he was doing, but wasn't able to get the words out in time before Grimmjow tilted his head and hesitantly relaxed his lips against his own before turning it into a hesitant kiss. After a moment he tried again and kissed him more confidently which only served to confuse Ichigo more.

"I'm glad because I like you, Ichi."

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 **A/N: Still apologizing in advance. Leave a review, favorite or follow to let me know how you are feeling. I want to know what I am doing wrong and what I am doing right.**


	11. Chapter 11

Ummm...hi. Long time no see. Time to get all of the excuses out of the way, blah blah blah, busy, blah blah, mental illness (I'm fine), blah blah, practically rewriting the whole story. Wait. Let's stay on that one for a bit.

I love getting reviews from you guys because not only does it confirm that people are reading my story it lets me know what you want to see and what makes you happy. I've been pursuing that and I have forgotten what would make me happy and the reason why I even started to write in the first place. So I scrapped about seven chapters and rewriting them.

So let me make some things clear just so you know what you are getting into by continuing to read. If you don't care just skip ahead and read the chapter. I can't stop you. I'm just words on a screen. I hope you like it.

1\. This story was actually based off of an original idea I had and I reskinned it into a fanfic. Fun fact: the original story was not a romance.

2\. The story isn't slow or delayed. It is proceeding at a very comfortable speed in my opinion at least. I find drama more important in stories then romance. A romance story that is just a romance story is just too boring to me. I like having some meat to tear into and I aspire to cook something fresh.

3\. My intention is not to write an erotica. I actually dislike writing smut scenes, but I will write them for story reasons and for fan-service purposes.

If you were under the impression that it was going to be a vanilla romance with some spicy smut scenes then it may be in your best interest to leave. Thank you for reading this far and sorry for robbing your time especially from me talking way too much. If you still want to proceed and you haven't done so already then enjoy the chapter.

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Chapter 11

He did it. He couldn't believe that he did it. Then he said it. He said it with complete resolve, but he couldn't believe it until he said it out loud. He liked Ichigo, his childhood best friend, his _male_ childhood best friend. He kissed him and all he wanted to do was kiss him again, kiss him forever. His buddy downstairs never gave so much of an interest for something as simple as a kiss, not from any of the many girls that he has dated. He has never felt something like that before, nothing has ever felt so right in his entire life, not the first time he threw a perfect spiral, not when he discovered the beauty of _Die Hard_ , not when he found out the pleasure of having his dick slide into a perfect, pink pussy. Yet sharing a kiss with his best friend made him feel overwhelmed with relief and satisfaction.

Never has his heartbeat so fast, his breath felt so heavy, his cheeks so hot, or his palms so sweaty, maybe from football, but a kiss? His heart may have been beating outside of his chest, but he kept willing the laws of the universe to move time back just a bit so he could experience that kiss again. Instead his feet felt glued to the ground, breath heavy as he stared back at his best friend whose eyes pierced through his skull with a look of complete bewilderment, his hand rubbing through his hair before looking to the ground. Grimmjow could practically feel the gears turning in Ichigo's head slowly moving before they sped up as his face heated up.

He couldn't blame him for the sudden shock. It was a lot to process within a short amount of time. He just found out his crush was engaged and even though Ichigo claimed to be fine and actually happy for him he knew that he was at least a little torn up about it. Then soon after his childhood best friend who has always been hyper hetero kissed him and confessed to him. He couldn't even wrap his mind around it himself and he was the one who did it.

All he knew was that he was excited, giddy even. Giddy that he was able to come to terms with these weird feelings he was having. Giddy that he was finally able to share them rather than letting them fester in his mind without end. He was even more eager to hear Ichigo's response so that he could just dive in to another kiss and then another after that.

Instead Ichigo just scrunched his eyebrows looking perplexed. "Wait, since when were you into guys?" He asked simply as if everything that just happened in the past minute went completely over his head.

Grimmjow groaned. "That is the only thing you are getting out of this?" He blurted out before slowly enunciating each word in his next statement so that Ichigo could understand. Heck he said it slowly so that he could convince himself what was going on too. He couldn't believe what has transpired in the last few seconds. He didn't know what possessed him to do it, any of it. He was never really good at using his head and always survived using instinct and it seemed that his instinct has carried him all the way here. He wasn't exactly complaining. He was confused before, but now he knew exactly what he wanted. "I like you." He tried again his mind raced as he said it again and his lips moved to articulate another sentence that he wasn't even able to comprehend himself. "I want us to be together."

He didn't know how his mind even functioned that thought when he was never serious about the girls he was ever 'together' with. Saying it out loud was insane, but as soon as the words left his mouth he knew that they were true and that he wanted to be serious. He could say that he didn't want it again and again and he still wouldn't be able to convince himself otherwise.

Ichigo tilted his head and ran his foot through the blades of grass that seemed to be growing too tall back and forth as he tried to put together the information in his head. The silence only made his heart feel like it was echoing in his chest and vibrating in his ears. He hoped Ichigo couldn't hear it.

Ichigo scrunched his nose and shook his head before sighing. He placed his hand against the bark of the tall oak tree and leaned against it to prevent himself from shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other. For such a smart kid he sure was taking a long time to come to terms with what he wanted to say. The silence wasn't doing well for Grimmjow's nerves and it only made him expect the worst.

"I'm not sure that's true." Ichigo explained just as slowly and even gentler. "Grimm, I'm not sure you are going to fully understand this, but homosexuality is on a spectrum. Maybe you are just now realizing that you aren't 100% straight and you are projecting that on to me."

Grimmjow cocked his head and knit his eyebrows together. "What?" His chest panged slightly, but he told himself that it was nothing so that he could keep a straight face. He didn't like how that sounded, but he didn't fully understand Ichigo's response. He was expecting a 'yes or no' answer, not a deeper look into his psyche.

Ichigo sighed and ghosted his hand over his forehead that Grimmjow was pressed against moments before. He then pulled his fingers that were tracing his forehead through his hair and gripped it lightly as he tried to figure out how to continue. Grimmjow's eyes stayed glued on Ichigo's amber ones, trying to voice that he was serious without having to open his mouth.

"Let's see…." Ichigo trailed as he tried to put words together simple enough for Grimmjow to understand, a man who didn't fully understand homosexuality and still had to learn how to catch himself from saying something offensive. "You may have come to a realization that you aren't fully straight, which is common. In fact very few people are 100% straight or gay. Maybe you discovering that has something to do with me, but maybe not. You are probably now thinking that these feelings you are having are related to me since I am the only gay person you know."

Grimmjow shook his head at Ichigo's rambling hypothesis. "No, I know that I like you." He said almost impatiently. Ichigo only shook his head, mirroring him. His right hand started to pull and trace the rim of his long sleeve shirt, not knowing what else to do with his hands.

Grimmjow scrunched his eyebrows together, practically growling and pushed Ichigo up against the tree, causing him to gasp. His eyes grew large as they quickly scanned over him before fixing his eyes back on Grimmjow's wondering and worried about what will happen next. Grimmjow hungrily tore his lips open and kissed him deeply, pushing his tongue into his mouth and wrestling with his in a fight that was completely one-sided.

He explored the wet cavern, mapping out every area that made Ichigo instinctively kiss back before he stopped himself. He licked Ichigo's bottom lip before lightly nipping it between his teeth, getting a small gasp from Ichigo. He needed to convince him that he was serious; he needed to make Ichigo feel something. It was for his mental health. He needed him to stop talking before Ichigo made any final decisions.

He then found Ichigo's lips reacting with his own after his excruciatingly long hesitation, allowing Grimmjow more access. He hesitantly slipped his own tongue into Grimmjow's mouth which made the sides of his lips tug into a smile against Ichigo's mouth. Just as quickly as Ichigo surrendered Grimmjow found himself grabbing at Ichigo's hips before they started to sink lower.

Ichigo's eyes shot open and he shoved his hands against Grimmjow's chest, pushing him back. His face was completely red and he covered his mouth, tracing his lips that were wetted by Grimmjow with his finger tips. "This is so fucking unfair." Ichigo whispered more to himself then to Grimmjow. His voice was muffled by his hand making it barely audible, but he said it loud enough for Grimmjow to hear. "This is so unfair. I can't do this to you."

Grimmjow rested his arm against the tree above Ichigo's head and leaned over him. He looked at him with dark, lust filled eyes. "I don't get you." He said in a gruff voice. "What can possibly be unfair to you?"

Ichigo tilted his head up towards Grimmjow, his nose nearly touching his. "This, please don't make me reject you."

Grimmjow blinked a few times. His eyes became clear, getting rid of any lust that was clouding his eyes. He leaned back off the tree and rubbed at his arm to get rid of any marks that was carved into it from his weight against the bumpy bark. His feet grew cold. There was that stinging feeling in his hands and he closed them lightly to lessen the weird tingling that was causing them to shake.

"Then don't." He said plainly. "This shouldn't be so hard. I like you and I know that you like me back." Grimmjow couldn't wrap his mind around anything. Ichigo was supposed to be smart so there had to be something that he was missing that he didn't understand. No matter how he looked at it he couldn't fully understand. Ichigo had to be crazy.

He has never been rejected his entire life. Every girl he wanted handed themselves over to him. He could have sex with them and never call them again or date them for a week before throwing them away with all the others. Here he was, wanting to start something new, but not getting any results. This was the first time he wanted something more than just a fuck, maybe see if it works out and if it is worth making it last.

Ichigo's eyes broadcasted just how confused he was and Grimmjow felt the same way. He knew Ichigo liked him, everyone did. He didn't complain anymore when he was a total ass to him. He didn't push him away anymore. His expression broadcasted his true feelings just from body language and facial expression. His eyes were closed tight, he was biting his lips so hard that they looked like they were going to tear; his hands were shaking more than he has ever seen them in his entire life. He looked even more hurt then Grimmjow yet he was the one inflicting the pain.

Ichigo was the person he felt the most comfortable with in his entire life and he knew that the feeling was mutual, but if that was the case then why was it so hard for him to get Ichigo to except him. Here he was handing himself over, actually sharing his feelings, expecting Ichigo to accept him with open arms, but instead Ichigo reached out just to keep him at an arm's length.

"Am I missing something here?" Grimmjow asked, trying to avoid the uncomfortable feeling that was now growing in his stomach. Maybe he had an ulcer just like Ichigo had. He hoped those weren't contagious.

Ichigo let out a sigh and look down at his feet that were now dirty from the tracks he has made in the grass that came from him rubbing his feet into it. "Yeah, you're right. I do like you." Ichigo said. He blushed slightly before rubbing his nose as if trying to give the impression that the only reason why his face was red was because he was rubbing it. "But what do you expect from me? I'm scared shitless." He nearly shouted.

Grimmjow saw tears cloud his eyes before Ichigo was able to blink them away fast enough before they fell. "I became friends with you after years of thinking you forgot about me. Our friendship means so much to me that I'm afraid to throw it away for the off chance that you like me as much as I like you."

Grimmjow growled. "I'm pretty sure I know how I am feeling." There were two people in the world that truly understood Grimmjow and that was his mom and Ichigo, not even Nel knew him as much as Ichigo did. "Where is the risk?"

"Even if by some miracle you did really like me then how would I know that you would keep me around?" Ichigo asked. "For the past couple of years neither of us has seen each other despite us both supposedly being best friends. The only reason we are friends again is because you found me in a closet at a party."

Ichigo gained some confidence, even sounding a bit angry as he continued his argument. "How can I feel security about being with you when you threw our friendship aside so easily?" Grimmjow was left silent as Ichigo continued to rant. "It's even riskier considering how you throw girls that you've dated aside without any remorse. I don't want to be another one of them. I don't think I can handle it. It isn't fair if you do this, it isn't fair if I do this knowing what can happen. You keep on hurting me unintentionally and I just keep forgiving you despite how unhealthy it is. I don't care if I have to bury my crush on you all over again. I just want things to stay the same. I like you, but my God I can't do this."

Ichigo inhaled deeply like he lost all his breath during that rant and turned further away from Grimmjow, turning bright red and eyes becoming watery all over again as if he were about to cry despite the chances of Ichigo crying over anything was unlikely. For the first time in ages Grimmjow was upset with himself just because he was the one that made Ichigo feel this way. He had every right to feel this way after he build his armor up to be as strong as it was and have Grimmjow pound through it like the inconsiderate asshole that he was.

Grimmjow stared at him in shock wanting to reach out to hug him, pull him into his chest and run his hand through his hair. He was so upset with himself especially since he was kind of happy just from Ichigo admitting that he liked him back and that their friendship meant so much to him. His spirit must have cracked at some point during that entire rant. His heart fluttered at his words despite feeling sick from the rejection. He was reminded of the time when Ichigo admitted that he used to have a crush on him back when he visited his house for the first time in years.

He felt oddly happy at that time too for some reason. Before he thought it was because he got an ego boost which he constantly craves, but now everything made sense. He wanted to appeal to Ichigo; he wanted him to like him back and his chest started to inflate at Ichigo's confession of liking him the same way he did. Even though his chest inflated he felt like his stomach was filled with iron. The bitterness overpowered the sweetness. Ichigo didn't reject him; he was rejecting himself, and not allowing himself to be with him just because he was scared of what will happen next leaving Grimmjow to wonder why Ichigo just doesn't allow himself to be happy.

Grimmjow shook his head. He couldn't just give up on his feelings after coming to terms with them. He didn't know what to say after Ichigo put all of his thought on display. He was never good with words to begin with and now he was left wondering how to best demonstrate what he was feeling. Words kept getting stuck in his throat and eyebrows twitched as he found that he couldn't even articulate his own thoughts except for the fact that he wanted to kiss Ichigo again. Kiss him again and again until Ichigo says yes to being with him.

He took a few steps forward into Ichigo's personal space again and leaned forward so that his chest was against his. He lifted his hand to guide Ichigo's face, but instead of allowing Grimmjow to lead him Ichigo moved forward so that his head was over Grimmjow's shoulder which left Grimmjow in an awkward crouch. Ichigo lifted his hands and rested them on Grimmjow's back. Grimmjow's hands were left hovering over him in confusion, one resting on the side of Ichigo's head that was originally leading him while the other was meant to rest on his waist, not really having a purpose besides touching Ichigo since he could barely say that he was holding him. Ichigo was the leading this, but not the response that he wanted.

His hands hesitantly drifted to Ichigo's back to mirror his hands, accepting the hug and resting his forehead on Ichigo's shoulder. "I'm sorry Grimmjow." He heard Ichigo say, feeling the way his shoulders shook at the words that proved to be difficult to say. It was a lot better than Grimmjow's stomach dropping to his feet from the weight of the pit forming where there were originally butterflies. "I'm just not ready to be thrown away again once you get your shit together."

Grimmjow's arms unintentionally became tighter around him, pulling him closer as if holding him would be able to stop the sick feeling he was getting in his gut or maybe change his mind. He couldn't tell. Instead he was left being comforted as Ichigo ran his hand slowly up and down his back like he was trying to ease the piecing pain that he was inflicting on him. His effort was in vain though. The pain didn't stop even after Ichigo pulled away.

Ichigo stepped aside slowly. He looked downcast at his feet, gripping his arm with his hand and took a few hesitant steps backwards leaving a few feet between him and Grimmjow. "You should have some time to think. You won't have the same feelings for long. It'll pass, I guarantee, so you don't have to worry." Ichigo said as he took a few more steps back. "I'm going to go home now, okay? I just want to be left alone."

Ichigo trotted away to the end of the field before looking over his shoulders then quickly turning around seeing Grimmjow's gaze still on him. From there Ichigo continued his walk home faster than he did to the end of the field. He looked sad, like how he should have looked when Ukitake introduced him to his fiancé. Grimmjow's heart received another shock at the thought that Ichigo finding out that his love was unrequited made him laugh while him confessing made Ichigo sad. He thought he would be happy; dammit he should have been happy; they both should have been.

Grimmjow wanted to run after him and grab him by the arm, but his feet were stuck to the ground covered by the shade of the tree. Under this tree Ichigo would admire him without reaching out. Underneath that very tree they sat together for half the school day and just enjoyed each other's company. Underneath that very tree he was rejected from the guy he felt closest too who supposedly liked him the same way. Was this tree cursed or something? Is there some kind of spirit of unrequited love possessing this tree or something? They should have cut it down ages ago, stupid fucking tree, stupid fucking school, stupid fucking everything.

Grimmjow was left watching Ichigo's back while Ichigo walked staring more at his feet then the road that he was walking along in the direction of his house. Grimmjow tried run after him again, catch up to him, make him change his mind, but instead of moving he put his back to the tree and slid down it, ignoring the pain of the grooves cutting into his back, pulling his shirt up and his butt hit the cold ground, leaning further into the trunk of the tree. It would have been healthier to leave, clear his head, but he just couldn't bring himself to move. He just stared up at the changing leaves and the bits of the clear blue sky that was peeking through the empty space. He watched the leaves fall and tried to predict where they would land. Whenever he thought they would land where he predicted a sudden change in the wind would blow it in a different direction.

Ichigo was more complicated then he thought, but there was no way that he desired to be unhappy. When Ichigo made up his mind it was set and incredibly hard to change. It looked like he would have to get used to the feeling of being rejected despite him not being able to process the thought.

He didn't know how long he sat their wasting his time away as he felt every second pass. Every second felt like an eternity yet he was unable to pull himself off the hard chilly ground that was rapidly growing colder as the time passed. He sighed as he thought about how everything went to shit within a few minutes. If he counted backwards things were turning sour way before any of this happened. He could have prevented all of this if he made sure Ichigo ate or if his teacher didn't give him that stupid book and maybe none of this would have happened if he went to that party with Nel before, maybe if he never went to that party that night he wouldn't have ran into Ichigo, decided to help him, and then catch these stupid feelings. He couldn't tell when he got them until it was too late.

He closed his eyes. No, he didn't wish none of that happened. He was upset about being rejected, but he didn't hate Ichigo. He wouldn't have taken back the night that he reunited with him or the night he came out and confessed that he had feelings for him. He didn't regret introducing him to Nel or trying to help him hide under the veil of heterosexuality. If anything he regretted this very moment where he confessed and made Ichigo feel that wave of pain and confusion.

As time passed the sun started to move out from above the tree to where it was glaring at Grimmjow with blinding sunlight. Grimmjow squinted, raising his hand to give them shade. He willed himself to pull himself off of the hard ground despite not feeling ready to move yet. He breathed in the chilly air wondering how he allowed it to get so late.

The drive home was lonely without having Ichigo or even Nel talking to him or bickering. He would drive to his house with them or they would go to their favorite restaurant to hang out. It's been a long time since he drove home without having a passenger.

He unlocked the front door of his house. The house seemed dark with all the lights off. His mother probably wouldn't even be home until late that night, way past the time he goes to bed. He didn't want to be alone, but Nel was busy and Ichigo was out of the question for obvious reasons. He was never close with his other so called "friends" enough to hang out with them one on one and he was honestly still pissed off at them for what they said about Ichigo. He may be pissed and angry, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry at Ichigo. He couldn't curse his existence. All he wished for was to turn back time so that he wouldn't have to feel so alone.

He collapsed on top of his couch and buried himself into the cushion. This was where he slept a week before, he thought to himself. Despite Ichigo's surprisingly muscular body he was comfortable having him in his arms. Grimmjow took a deep breath of the cushion bellow him, wondering if any of Ichigo's scent managed to sink into the couch, but after a bit of effort he couldn't pick up anything which was to be expected. He turned his head to the side; ruffling up his hair and making it twist in weird directions. He turned on the TV. The main menu from _Die Hard_ flashed on. He realized that over the entire weekend he has not turned on his TV once. He honestly couldn't remember what he has done over the entire weekend. All he remembered was that he missed Ichigo and he hoped that he was feeling better.

He absentmindedly hit the play button, hoping that his favorite movie of all time would be of some distraction to him. After the first few scenes he lost interest, immediately feeling appalled that he wasn't getting his usual adrenaline from such a badass movie. It wasn't lame, it was still awesome, but watching the movie in silence only reminded him just how lonely he was.

He groaned and turned over on his side, his arm draping off the couch to graze the hard wooden floors. He reached his arm up to grab his phone resting on the coffee table next to him. He looked at his phone blankly before unlocking it and opening up his contacts icon and started to scroll through it. Whenever he felt alone or sad he would turn to sex. Whenever his mind was on something he would turn to sex. Whenever he needed to feel something, anything besides what he was feeling right then and now he turned to sex.

The number of names in his contacts was way above average and the ratio definitely leaned more on the female side, but he didn't know who more than half of these people were. Next to most of the names on the list had descriptions next to them, 'huge boobs,' 'awesome butt,' 'into crazy shit,' 'easy.' His eyes glazed over as he stared at the screen he scrolled through, not even reading any of the names before he just pressed his fingertip down on a random name, pulling up the contact information.

He pressed call without even looking at the name and held the phone up to his ear, his mind somewhere else as the dial tone rang in his ear like background noise. He got an answering machine so he just hung up and scrolled through the list of contacts again and picked another random female name. He didn't even remember what this girl looked like or ever remember hearing that name before, but that didn't matter. This time the dial tone was cut off before an annoyed voice answered. "Hello?"

Grimmjow scrunched his nose before answering back, "hey." He said in a monotone voice that didn't have any emotion behind it to give a sign that he was a living being rather than a machine.

"Who is this?" The voice inside the phone asked. She sounded like a bitch, but Grimmjow didn't give a shit. He just needed something, someone to make him forget, to make him feel something besides alone and rejected.

"Grimmjow," He said without putting in anymore effort to explain why he was calling. Instantaneously the voice on the other side of the phone sounded sickly sweet and excited.

"Oh my God, really?" She cheered in a squeaky voice before slipping into a more seductive voice as if she was working as a sex operator. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

Who the fuck says that? It sounded like she was already trying to get on his good side. He knew all too well what that sounded like. He has heard it since he was a child and he was never able to escape it. When he was a child adults would always try to win his favor or try to get their kids to play with him or be his best friend, but they were never good enough to replace Ichigo who he clung too. His father had a large influence and adults tried their best to do whatever it took to get closer to him even if it meant manipulating a little kid. He didn't realize that this was happening until later and it left a bad taste in his mouth.

He used to go to a private elementary school, but he got sick of making fake friends just to run off to his real friend's house after school. He was able to convince his mother to let him go to public school with Ichigo where kids wouldn't know who he or who his father was. His mother who was never a big fan of her husband's associates really took to the idea, not wanting her son to be used as a chess piece in some unknown person's game. It was easy to hide since he always kept his mother's last name. After that he learned that kids were a lot harder to make friends with than he thought. Ichigo was his only true friend and he seemed to have a better grasp on how to socialize with other kids then he did. He was more popular than him, but he never let him go yet when Grimmjow rose to popularity he didn't even notice when Ichigo disappeared from his sight.

For the first time in a long time Grimmjow was experiencing something that he hasn't felt in a long time, self-doubt. How could he have casted someone to the side and then try to come back into his life as if nothing happened? Of course Ichigo would reject him. He tried to reject him before, tried to keep them separated so that both of their lives wouldn't become more complicated than it already was yet he kept on pushing. Of course Ichigo was right. He was always right.

He kept on thinking about Ichigo even when he heard the doorbell ring. He kept on thinking about him when he opened the door to a short, cute girl with curly purple hair and a ton of makeup. He kept thinking about him even when she let herself in and led him upstairs to his room.

Even when the girl he already forgot the name of climbed onto the bed and started to strip for him he couldn't stop thinking about him. Guilt flooded his stomach when the girl devoured him in a kiss which he reciprocated back out of instinct. This was how things were meant to be right? He hasn't done this ever since he ran into Ichigo again and started to hang out with him every day after school, but this was how things were before. This was what Ichigo wanted before Grimmjow dragged him out of his comfort zone. He thought about Ichigo's words. About how he was scared to say yes to Grimmjow and how he was scared to lose his friendship just to become another one of the people that Grimmjow will eventually throw away.

He studied the girl who has pushed him onto his back and was now riding him like a cowgirl, practically pretending that he was into it. Ichigo was right, he moved from one person to the next. It was the only thing he knew, and he felt disgusting, but it was what he knew best.

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 **A/N: This is why I wanted to put a warning at the very beginning. This is going to be a long story if you guys couldn't tell. It'll be fun and I'll do my best to send a message. My goal is to tell a story that may leave an imprint on you unlike other stories you can find on this site. If you aren't interested in a long story and only came because the M rating and the promise of smut then I won't blame you for leaving and thank you for reading this far.** **If not I'll see you when I post a new chapter hopefully sooner then this one.**

 **If you wanna continue hearing the voice that you depict my voice to sound like in your head for some reason then leave a review. I more then likely will respond.** **If you wanna see the next chapter favorite and follow so that you can get notified when the new chapter comes out. It also makes me feel warm and fuzzy for an entire day.**


	12. Chapter 12

I posted a chapter. I did a thing. Please don't hate me. School is being rough, so I probably won't post till the end of the semester... when I graduate...and make an effort to become a functioning member of society instead of live in my parents' basement...enjoy the chapter

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Chapter 12

Was he some kind of idiot? Did he lose some part of his rational mind when he was rejected by Mr. Ukitake? Well, he technically wasn't rejected by him; rather he was just taken already so he never even had a chance with him as much as it hurt to admit. He could have easily let Grimmjow be his rebound.

He seriously could have and maybe should have. He would have been happy, right? Can Grimmjow even be considered a rebound if he thought that his crush on him was reawakened? No, he knew it was reawakened yet he still rejected him because there had to have been something wrong with him. That didn't matter right now since Grimmjow clearly wasn't with him and probably never will be.

Ichigo had no idea when Grimmjow's presumed crush started. He has always been so homophobic towards him. Sure recently he has been acting a lot better, treating him like how he used to rather than a sick person that could infect him. He also seemed genuinely concerned about his crush on Ukitake for other reasons besides him being a man and not wanting him to destroy the image he forged for him. He could never place his finger on why he was so disturbed by that and it felt wrong to assume that he was saying those things because he actually liked him himself.

People who are homophobic don't get crushes on guys, right? There is the stereotype that guys act homophobic to hide their insecurities, but Grimmjow doesn't have those. If he does then he is an expert on hiding them. Even things that he should have felt insecure about he took pride in and turns them into strengths or stories. Sometimes he looks at the things he should be insecure about and says 'fuck it' and does what he pleases…like how Grimmjow kissed him under the oak tree. Fuck, Ichigo couldn't tell what was up or down anymore. A guy that he thought that he knew everything about became this huge mystery that he didn't want any part of.

Ichigo just couldn't get a grasp on his emotions, his or Grimmjow's. All the anger he had towards Grimmjow after he found out that he tore out the page of the book melted away as he ghosted his fingers over his lips. Maybe he never was truly angry with him in the first place. If he was so angry at him why did he go up to him and tell him that he was planning on confessing to Mr. Ukitake? Was he hoping that Grimmjow would stop him or did he just want to rub it in? There could have been another element that he was missing that he just couldn't figure out for some reason.

His unconscious mind had a habit of figuring things out faster than his rational mind, but it had to be luck. Then again, he was never able to manage staying angry at Grimmjow. He could be frustrated with him or even try to push him away yet he could never hold onto his anger for too long. All he needed to do was look at Grimmjow to know that he never had any evil intentions towards him even if he did do something that hurt him. Tearing that page out may have seemed malicious, but he was trying to protect him and _apparently_ he may have done it because he thought he had feelings for him. It still felt wrong to assume that much considering how Grimmjow felt unsure about Ukitake way before he even got the book and how he still gave him the book despite everything.

Grimmjow having feelings for him…Just the thought of it sounded ridiculous. Part of him still rejected that thought process. He was the king of the school; every girl liked him and would chase after him fully knowing that he would throw them away once he was done with them. Yet he said he wanted to be with him. It sounded crazy, it was impossible, nothing good would have happened if he accepted Grimmjow's feelings. He would lose his friendship and threaten being thrown away. He knew it was the right decision to reject him deep down, but here he was hiding from Grimmjow with his head hanging as he regretted it, wondering what would have happened if he said yes. Heck he was practically fantasizing about the possibilities. He seriously was hopeless.

He sighed and slumped further into the booth as he sat alone at their favorite restaurant to hang out. He already hated himself for walking there instead of back home where he said he was going. He ran away. It was obvious before that he ran away, but now he was just hiding. If there was a chance that Grimmjow wanted to hunt him down by going to his house he didn't want to be there. If Grimmjow went looking for him he didn't think he would be able to say no a second time. Yet here he was at Grimmjow's favorite restaurant since he was a kid, cheap and greasy food dressed in a child friendly esthetic.

He was a regular with Grimmjow and Nel since it was so easy to get to and not a lot of people from school went there. There was only one person he knew from school that went there and he was bringing his burger over before sliding into the booth opposite him. Most employees would get in trouble with their manager if they were seen doing this, but Friendly's was not a very populated restaurant. It also helped that the guy sitting across from him and serving him food was the manager himself.

Ichigo didn't know him that well. He recognized him from school and from being in the same gym class as him, but other than that the only time they really talked was when Ichigo, Grimmjow, and Nel ate here.

"I've never seen you here alone, Ichigo." The redheaded waiter commented, helping himself to one of Ichigo's still piping hot fries. "No Grimmjow and Nel today?"

Ichigo didn't brush his hand away, sighing and not even bringing his hands up to grab a hold of his freshly made burger. This was the first time he talked to him without having Grimmjow and Nel here. Usually Nel was the one that would initiate the conversation and treated him like he was one of them.

He didn't feel like talking before, but the redhead's nonchalance and easygoing attitude despite probably sensing the gloomy atmosphere resonating off of Ichigo allowed him to let his guard down. He didn't know what exactly encouraged him to confide in him, but he already felt everything come out without much thought. "Have you ever thought that someone you are close to knew everything about you, but you realize that everything you knew about them seemed like a lie?"

The waiter sitting in the booth in front of him raised an eyebrow at him. "Is my assumption of who you are talking about right?" He asked without explicitly saying a name.

Ichigo felt a smile pull slightly, not grasping what encouraged it. It was the first time he felt any form of amusement since the drama with Grimmjow. "Most likely," Ichigo admitted, anxiously waiting for the guy across from him to perhaps give him another slight burst of dopamine that was probably not deserved.

"It is impossible to know everything about a person. You may feel like he knew everything about you, but he doesn't know what you are thinking so you can't assume that you know what he is thinking." The waiter said mimicking Ichigo's posture and his roundabout way of saying what he actually meant. "Everyone has secrets and not everything is the way it seems."

Ichigo propped himself by his elbow not looking directly at the guy sitting opposite of him. "Do you just plan on saying vague shit to me instead of actual advice?" Ichigo mumbled.

The redhead gave a hearty laugh despite Ichigo's less than enthusiastic attitude. "You're not much better. I don't know what the hell you are talking about." He said. "I don't know why you are sitting here and not talking to him. You can always learn more about a person besides what they show you. Just keep an open mind."

Ichigo let out a sigh. "How are you talking more than I am without even knowing what is going on?"

His classmate shrugged. "It's just my standard advice." He pulled his notepad out of his pocket and jotted something down before tearing out the page and placing it in front of Ichigo. The slip of paper had a seven digit number jotted down in messy handwriting.

"I don't know if you really want to talk about it, but you seem stressed. If you need help then we can go see a movie or grab dinner or something, maybe some place where he visits less." He said with a wink.

"Thanks Renji." Ichigo acknowledged as he slid the note closer to him, pulling his phone out and adding the number to his phone.

"Not to mention I may be able to help you out a bit more with some other, more personal things. It may help to talk to someone with some similar situations and interests." He said winking before he slid off the booth and jogged over to help the customers up front who just walked in, a father and son.

Ichigo looked at the pair longer then a normal person should, but looking at the bouncing kid pulling the man by his hand as they were escorted to a booth further from Ichigo. The kid reminded him of Grimmjow in a weird way. When he was a kid Grimmjow used to go to Friendly's all the time with his dad.

His mom took him there the first time and he instantly fell in love. Grimmjow's dad was very upset how he got so attached to greasy "commoner" food and despite trying to take him to other places he never liked them as much as he loved this quiet family restaurant. It was truly a hidden gem to him. Eventually he gave up. Despite his father hating the food there and never ordering anything he would take his son to Friendly's afterschool on Friday every week, even treating Ichigo sometimes, since he worked all week and barely had any time to spend with his son who was in bed by the time he got home.

Despite Grimmjow and his dad having a rocky relationship now the memories were still pretty sweet. His father always seemed cold, but he did make it a point to have some form of a relationship with his son. Every part of the restaurant screamed childhood, the booths that were getting more and more worn down, the wall decorations, the dishes with ice cream designs on them, the mural.

Ichigo even knew that Grimmjow's first childhood memory was of him tracing out the lines of the carnival themed mural. How could he know such an insignificant detail yet know so little about him? He learned the dirty details of what happened with his dad only recently and he still didn't have the whole story. He wasn't sure if he ever will know the whole story now or if he'll even ever talk to him again.

Renji may have suggested talking to him without even knowing any of the details of that story, but he wasn't sure he had the guts to do that much, so much for him not wanting to ruin their friendship. Ichigo traced his lips that Grimmjow kissed. It was his first kiss with a guy, with his best friend who he secretly had a crush on before stuffing it in a bottle and throwing it in the ocean just for it float back with the tide.

"Ichigo, I swear that if you don't eat that burger I will." Renji called over while placing a paper table mat with crayons in front of the little boy. Ichigo stared at his burger. It probably wasn't the best idea to eat unhealthy after recovering from an ulcer, but he didn't want to just walk in without ordering anything.

He needed to relax. He'll get sick again if he stressed about every little thing even if this 'little thing' is disguised as a big thing. It was too bad that it was hard to not be stressed when his mind was running around in circles. Seriously, he was right about that poem. Grimmjow consistently destroyed the best parts of him leaving him a complete mess without even trying. Yet Grimmjow remained intact through everything they have been through. It almost felt unfair.

"Keep it Renji." Ichigo said pulling out a few bills before placing it on the table without even having the check delivered to him.

Grimmjow was so confident when he confessed. Back then Ichigo's heart leapt through his throat so hard that he thought he tasted iron and he wasn't even the one saying what was on his mind. Grimmjow cared a lot about reputation enough to try and save Ichigo's nonexistent one and he practically threw it away just to say that he liked him and wanted to start a relationship that was more than friendship. They were in private with no one around, but that doesn't change the fact that he kissed him while he was on school grounds.

Ichigo got up from the seat and left through the front door ignoring Renji calling after him that he was kidding and that he should eat.

Did he realize what he was doing or did he just expect a free pass to do whatever he wanted? He seemed so calm coming out of the closet if he could even call it that. His feelings may or may not be made up by a delusion of discovering he was on the spectrum, but he seriously thought they were real. Ichigo debated over his feelings for him for too long and when the opportunity presented itself he turned him down. It was the right thing to do. He couldn't deceive him; it wasn't right to do that to a friend and they both could have ended up getting hurt from it. Grimmjow will go back to the way he was in time.

Ichigo looked both ways before jogging to the other side of the street on a busy road, slowing his jog down to a walk as he reached the other side of the road's sidewalk and started on his way home. He really hoped he stayed at Friendly's long enough so that if Grimmjow actually did visit his house he would have missed him.

If Grimmjow was going to go back to the way things were then maybe he should too and go back to focusing on work and hopefully return to his place in the school where he can reblossom into the wallflower he was before. He didn't need a boyfriend. All he needed was himself until things settled down. It was like that before so it wouldn't be the worst thing ever for him to go back even if he is just hiding his loneliness. He may have said that he didn't want to lose their friendship, but he knew that it will never be the same after this.

And he was right.

Going to school was a lot more difficult then he thought. He has already gotten used to the additional bullying especially since it was now coming in waves of whether they bothered to do anything or not. He was a boring target. He pretended not to care when he was bullied and he knew how to defend himself from getting attacked when they tried a more physical approach. He would destroy the precognition they had that attacking a gay man would be safe because of the flamboyant stereotype. They could have gotten more of a reaction from knocking textbooks out of a 'nerdy' student's hands despite it being too old school.

It was already November, a couple weeks after the entire incident with Grimmjow. A lot has happened within that time. He and Mr. Ukitake were even closer than before now that Ichigo met his fiancé. He still found Mr. Ukitake attractive, but he was steadily losing interest in him as it settled in that he was taken and madly in love already. It was a slow process, but he was getting over it. It wasn't his fault that a man in love was even more attractive, but he was happy for him and wished for him and his fiancé, Kaien the best of luck.

The one good thing that came out of the incident with Grimmjow was that he wasn't trying to get between him and his teacher anymore. Ichigo would be able to stay after school and discuss stories and get sneak previews of the romance novel his teacher was writing during his free time. Grimmjow wouldn't have had any time for him anyway now that he has a new girlfriend anyway.

It stung to see the two of them together despite him being the one to reject him. He was hoping that Grimmjow would run after him and prove him wrong, but the day after Grimmjow confessed to him underneath the oak tree he came in with a new girl. He wasn't supposed to have some girl hanging off of him. He was supposed to be the one standing at his side. God, Ichigo also hated how jealous and possessive he was over someone who seemed to have no relation to him anymore.

Grimmjow has not met his gaze in two weeks. He never even had an opportunity to talk to his new girlfriend though he wasn't sure he even wanted to despite having plenty of opportunities to. Ichigo would admit to himself that he was just as guilty as Grimmjow. He made a constant effort to avoid him as much as possible because whenever he saw him he got a crushing wave of loneliness and eventually resentment, but not for him, for himself. He hated his mixed feelings and that his actions were sending the wrong message. Heck he didn't even know what message he wanted to send anymore.

Despite his avoidance it seemed as though the universe was drawing them towards each other. It must have been some universal law that physics was never able to explain that when someone is avoiding another person they would run into each other everywhere. No matter where he saw Grimmjow that girl was always on top of him too, weaving her manicured fingers between his calloused ones. She would always be animatedly talking to him as she pranced next to him to keep up with his long confident strides, trying not to lose him in the shifting hallways, dodging people who involuntarily knocked into her. Ichigo half expected her to follow him even if he went into the men's room. Ichigo did his best to try to avoid any drama and to stay as far away from it as possible, but he found himself growing, curious of the girl he decided to stay with after he told Ichigo his 'true' feelings.

He thought that if Grimmjow really liked him then he would have dated a girl that was similar to him, but this girl was gaudy. She was short and pale with dark, long, curly hair. Her hair was a deep indigo and she wore so much makeup that Ichigo couldn't even imagine what she would look like without it. Maybe it was because of the makeup, but her skin looked smooth in comparison to Ichigo's which was spotted with ache that seemed to have spiked from stress. Even her personality was the opposite of his. She seemed ditsy and talkative, but also, without a nice way to say it, unpleasant. She only shared one class with Ichigo that she transferred into about three weeks ago and that was his PE class. Apparently her name was Cirucci and she only transferred to their high school last year which would explain why her face seemed so fresh despite her sticking out like a sore thumb on steroids. That girl looked like she was meant to be a design for a gothic doll. Never has Ichigo had such judgmental thoughts for a complete stranger and he found himself beating himself up for them.

She was pretty, another one of Grimmjow's conquests. Ichigo was right about how he would get over him, but it still took him for a ride just how quickly he was forgotten about. It made him sick how jealous he was of this girl who he knew very little about, growing irritated whenever he saw her hanging off of him. He would catch himself glaring or knitting his eyebrows or scrunching his nose whenever he heard her annoying high pitched voice. At one point he had made eye contact with Grimmjow and his eyes softened immediately before he remembered that he was supposed to be avoiding him so he just turned away and hoped that he wouldn't think much of it and that his icy blue eyes weren't following him yet he still felt an icy chill run down his spine, knowing that he saw staring into his back as he retreated.

He was full of shit, no one needed to tell him since he was fully aware. He rejected Grimmjow, saying that he was afraid to lose their friendship, but now here he was ducking behind corners hoping that Grimmjow would stop watching him. Was it because he was embarrassed? Or was it because he was afraid of Grimmjow finding out his true feelings? He said that their friendship meant so much to him and here he was hiding from him. Friendships weren't meant to be like this, but he couldn't stop himself.

He felt so alone without Nel and Grimmjow around despite him spending more time with Rukia. Rukia would invite him over a lot to distract him from his crippling loneliness, but he would still find his mind drifting to times where he would be eating pizza with Grimmjow and Nel. At some point Grimmjow would get into a wrestling match with him and Nel would laugh and sometimes record it and add it to her Snapchat story. He didn't do a good job at hiding his thoughts as it became evident that Rukia would notice that the lights were on even if nobody was home and get impatient with him. She would tell him that moping wasn't getting him anything and that talking about it may help or at least get a boyfriend who may do a better job of distracting him.

He would run into Renji more often at school and they would walk to class together. Since they had the same gym class it allowed them to chat more often. It became easier to talk to him now that he essentially reached out first instead of pretended to not know each other. It also helped distract Ichigo from his usual glares at Cirucci which over time has become less frequent as he and Renji became closer.

He found it surprisingly easy to talk to Renji about his issues and not only about the ones including a certain jerk that he was thinking too much about lately. He would talk about his experience being bullied and despite him acting like it was not a big deal, it has actually become a big stressor in his life that has been wearing him down despite learning how to cope with it.

Renji was a surprisingly good listener and was able to contribute his own stories of what he had to deal with at his old school. Renji was right about learning that there was more to a person then to expect. It turned out that he and Renji were more similar then he initially thought. It was amazing to learn so much about a person that he has seen so many times without ever actually having an in-depth conversation.

Ichigo was glad things so far haven't been so bad that he has to change schools. Renji literally had to move in with his grandma to get some distance from his old school in hopes of not seeing anyone he knew. Renji seemed a little nervous telling his stories, but Ichigo reassured him that he didn't have to share anything unless he wanted to. "It's not much better here than there." Ichigo reminded him.

"Yeah, but at least no one here knows. I bet I can keep it a secret for a bit longer." Renji said, shrugging. "I just need to keep my head down for a bit longer."

"Anything you miss from your old school?" Ichigo asked, hoping to learn a bit more from Renji's past life.

"Besides my friends that stabbed me in the back and abandoned me? My school had a nice rugby club." Renji perked up at the memory. "You should try playing." He suggested ending the depressing conversation they were having bringing an end to Ichigo's hesitant, but persistent curiosity.

The sun beamed down on the two of them on the surprisingly hot day as they jogged the track at a moderate pace. It was so hot that Ichigo wondered why they weren't swimming that day despite it being the 'swimming unit.' At least he got to hang out with Renji since his friend couldn't go in the pool because of his 'chlorine' allergy. Despite the heat Renji still wore one of his signature oversized sweaters.

The rubber like floor bouncing their feet slightly to take some of the pressure off of their ankles as they kept up a faster speed then the rest of their lazy and overheated class. It also kept them from overhearing their private chat. "A little more exercise can do you some good." Renji reached over and pat Ichigo on the belly.

"What are you trying to say?" Ichigo said looking at him in bewilderment, hiding his stomach under his folded arms and hunching over slightly to better cover it which only gave him a harder time running causing him to fall behind slightly. Renji slowed down to stay next to him and chuckled at his sudden self-consciousness.

"I'm not saying you're fat, but you lost some muscle while you were sick." Renji pointed out. "Those guys attacking you will eventually gain up on you, heck I'm surprised they didn't yet. Plus some extra exercise could be good for your mental health."

Ichigo shrugged unfolding his body to pick up the pace he had before Renji sped up as well to minimize the distance between them. Ichigo could practically feel his body heat on him and his heavy breath labored from their nonstop running. They could have taken a break, but both refused creating an unintentional endurance competition between the two of them.

"But why rugby? Ichigo asked.

Renji shrugged. "Because this school is way too into American football which is only a baby sport compared to rugby plus the protective gear isn't as pricy." Renji winked. "It's also the sport I know best. The club at my school was a student made one and since there were not a lot of people in our club we made it co-ed and formed smaller teams." Renji said, smiling at the memory. "The plan was to join other teams when they were lacking players."

Renji turned his head away to hide his small nostalgic smile. Ichigo couldn't help, but feel sorry for the guy. Ichigo's hobby was more of a solo thing so he never had to worry about doing things with a buddy. Despite being a cool relatively normal guy to hang around with he didn't seem to have enough friends. Was it possible that he had some trust issues considering his experience at his last school? Ichigo couldn't blame him; he wouldn't be surprised if he eventually acquired some.

They ended their fifth lap around the track, coming back to where they started jogging before continuing around the turn onto their next lap. Ichigo's eyes lingered on the cabin next to the track field that is used for storing equipment that belonged to the track and field team. Leaning against the wall in the fetal position was Grimmjow's current girlfriend eyes glued to Ichigo as he jogged past with a blank look in her eyes as if she were staring off into space. That girl never participated in physical education activities, refusing to change out of her combat boots and afraid of how it threatened to ruin her hair and makeup. He wondered how that girl will even pass the class for sitting out so much.

"Maybe some new hobbies will make you stop thinking about him too." Renji added.

Ichigo exhaled noticing that his Renji noticed that he got distracted from the conversation while his eyes lingered.

"I'm just worried about ya Strawberry." Renji justified, patting him on the back and picking up the pace causing Ichigo's eyebrows to knit and took a few longer strides to catch up to Renji's not exactly recommended jogging speed.

"Don't call me that." Ichigo gasped in displeasure. He picked up the speed, running ahead of Renji with a smirk.

"Oh I see how it is." Renji said with a chuckle picking up his own speed until they were both running at top speed, passing everyone on the track with smirks on their faces. It became more than an endurance challenge and it took their PE teacher yelling at them to slow down to make them stop, calling it a draw.

Renji argued about who was truly the winner of their childish competition knowing full well that their attachment to the topic was silly on their way to the locker room. On the bright side if Renji does eventually convince him to play rugby with him then there was no way the guy would let him slack.

Renji quickly opened up his locker to grab his gym bag and walked to the stalls before anyone could get there first. Ichigo stood in the stall reserving it for Renji as they swapped places allowing Ichigo to grab his own bag and start to change as well. He looked down as he peeled off his sweaty shirt. He examined his flat stomach and traced the small grooves that used to be more defined muscles. His skin stuck to his fingers slightly as he pulled away. They never gave them enough time to shower and there were not nearly enough showers for everyone to do so. School was almost over anyway so it didn't really matter so much but he hated feeling sticky on the way home, but there was no way Renji was less sweaty then him in his giant sweater.

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 **A/N: I'll try to post more...I swear I'm trying to make some progress in rewriting my story, but seriously I need to buy myself some more time to write chapters and eventually scrap them (let's be honest.) In the meantime feel free to leave a review, follow, or favorite those who didn't are dead to me. You made the stupidest decision of your life... but it was a pleasure meeting you, and you've got my information so feel free to review any time... (anyone who gets this reference will get a shout out.)**


	13. Chapter 13

I'm not done with school, but I'm procrastinating. Here's a chapter you've probably been waiting for or not. I don't know your life.

By the way. I forgot to mention the comic that I accidentally stole from. It's Big Jo. It's on Line Webtoon, which by the way is dope. Download the app and check out Big Jo. It'll be a little treat and I'm known for giving good suggestions.

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Chapter 13

Pissed off has become his default personality. He was pissed at his friends that seemed to have become less and less tolerable as his patience wore thinner and thinner. He found himself getting annoyed at Nel more frequently despite her not doing anything wrong. He realized that it was only him being the asshole and had nothing to do with her, but he couldn't stop himself from snapping every now and then. Even when she was trying to help and get him to talk about his feelings that he tried so desperately to hide while he was boiling over. It was just frustrating. Eventually she became dejected and started to talk less and since Grimmjow got his girlfriend she went home after school by herself every day.

He hated how he would wake up on the weekend with his girlfriend sleeping right next to him in the nude with her nipples perky despite her still being asleep while he sported a raging boner that was not there because of her. He hated how his childhood friend's lips were the thing that haunted his dreams and all he could think about while he humped the living daylights out of the girl next to him. Sometimes when he closed his eyes he would think about what else those lips could wrap around.

He got out of bed slowly in an effort to not jostle the mattress while he escorted himself to the shower, grabbing a change of clothes on the way out. He didn't leave quietly because he wanted to let his girlfriend sleep in out of the niceness in his heart. He just didn't want her to be the one to handle his morning wood, never thought the day would come where he would rather take a cold shower instead of letting a willing hot girl to handle it.

He walked down the hall completely bare, not worried about his mom seeing him, knowing that she had to work overnight again. Still, walking around naked in the open was weird, but it was necessary since he didn't want to risk waking Cirucci.

The cold tiles of the bathroom greeted him as he walked in and shut the door behind him. He rested a hand on his erection and sighed. He was convinced that a cold shower was the worst way to start a morning. He turned the water on and felt the icy rain against his arm as he tested the water. He trembled without even having to step in, his toes digging into the bath mat as if trying to keep him from stepping in. He turned the nozzle more to make it warmer, and then warmer. What the fuck was he doing? He asked himself as he stepped into the tub, erection still in hand.

The warm water eased his muscles that were clenched from the threat of the cold before. He sat under the showerhead contemplating what he knew for damn sure was going to happen, knowing full well that he couldn't help himself. His calloused hand started slowly, just tracing the veins of his erection hesitantly before he tightened his hand and started to pump.

He tried to keep his mind blank, just trying to get the deed done quickly without having to think too much about it. He tried to do it quickly before the inevitable thoughts started to creep in. Much like anything else that was taking place during Grimmjow's life at the moment, it didn't work out the way he wanted.

Thoughts of Ichigo flooded his mind his scent, the intensity in his eyes, the expression he has when he is reading a book, his wrestling matches with him, times where he was pissed off at him, but couldn't stay mad at him. He never thought of these things as erotic yet his dick twitched and urged him to keep pumping. His laugh, his skin, his surprisingly thin waist, his lips, his tongue, his butt. Grimmjow's head dropped and his left hand kept him balanced, bracing itself against the tiled wall as Grimmjow picked up the pace and sucked in is teeth, welcoming the warmth humidity of the shower and the friction embracing his cock.

He imagined Ichigo below him, bracing himself on Grimmjow's bed, fingers tangled in the sheets, panting while he gave it to him. He fantasized about the sounds he would make and how he would beg him for more. He knew that Ichigo would probably rather die than beg, he's too stubborn, but this was a fantasy dammit.

Grimmjow teased the slit of his dick. He never imagined what Ichigo would be like on his back despite where his fantasies would take him. He never imagined him burying himself in his ass or how he would grunt while tangling his fingers into his hair, but just the thought made his dick throb and beg for release. Grimmjow's head started nodding as his body crumpled more and more, making him fight against his knees that were threatening to give out under him.

He knew it was stupid and an awful idea to articulate it out loud, but he wanted to. He at least wanted to see how it would feel to say it. He closed his eyes tightly head facing down, grunting his childhood friend's name in a low, husky voice. It felt wrong and he hated admitting it out loud, giving himself vocal evidence of what he felt for his friend that would no longer look at him.

His voice cracked slightly as he repeated it, knowing that it was unraveling him just by saying his name. A hot stream of white cum coated the floor of the tub. He moved over slightly so that the running water could pick it up and whisk the evidence down the drain.

He rode the wave of pleasure, panting as he stroked his dick a few more times while it calmed down, before letting his arm fall loosely to his side. He kept his head down as water ran over his head, pouring down over his hair that let leaked heavy streams of water as he processed his shame. He couldn't believe he just masturbated to his best friend. Fuck, when was the last time he masturbated at all? He had a hot naked girl sleeping in his bed yet he handled himself in the shower while thinking about his friend, his _male_ friend who he has not even talked to since that incident that he hated to think about. Can he even consider him a friend anymore? The thought depressed him even though he thought of it countless times. It wasn't like he didn't try to talk to him. In fact he has, but whenever he was about to get the nerve to talk to him Ichigo would duck out of his view avoiding him.

At first Grimmjow understood that he was feeling awkward and he knew that he may have just needed time to process, but after waiting so long he has grown impatient. He put his entire friendship on the line to confess to Ichigo. Those emotions that he couldn't comprehend were eating away at him and he did something about it. He may not have expected to be turned down, but he at least hoped that Ichigo would understand where he was coming from and accept his feelings. Instead Ichigo tried to convince him that they weren't real, but here he was three weeks later and he still had them.

He may have had a girlfriend, but he knew that she was just a coping mechanism. He was such an asshole and he knew it. She may have been a bitch at times, but she was a person, a person who liked him more then he liked her.

After spending so much time with Ichigo he thought he was becoming a better person, but now it felt like nothing has changed. He couldn't tell if he was sad about that or relieved. If Ichigo didn't want him at least everyone else did. Hopefully that will be enough eventually, but for now everything hurt.

He couldn't remember ever having a good moment with his girlfriend. She was chatty and annoying, but at least she was hot and wicked in bed. She liked it rough and it allowed him to let out some of his frustration in the bedroom, but he could never get rid of all of it. Every time he saw Ichigo he would get more pissed off, knowing that he was going to continue avoiding him, not even letting him make the first move.

What pissed him off even more was that Ichigo seemed completely fine with replacing him. More and more he started to see Ichigo walking around with Renji. That fucker worked at his favorite restaurant so he better not ruin that place for him. He hasn't gone over there since he saw him sniffing around Ichigo. Just seeing Renji pissed him off.

Ichigo didn't want to date him but he was totally fine with someone else? Ichigo seemed to have no problem chasing after guys, losing interest in them, and start chasing after another guy. Yet Ichigo was the one of accusing him of throwing girls away. He was just as guilty. Grimmjow wanted to be pissed off at Ichigo but all he could feel was loneliness. Despite him having a girl who adored him hanging from his arm his chest panged at the sight of him and made him feel empty.

He always thought Renji was straight, but what the fuck did he know? He thought Ichigo was straight until this year. Heck, he thought _he_ was straight, but the idea of having Ichigo in his arms made his heart swell and then it would implode on itself from the crushing loneliness.

He was the one who introduced Ichigo to Renji unintentionally which only made him feel worse. He thought back to the times where he, Ichigo, and Nel would go to Friendly's where Renji would bring them their food and sit down with them if the place wasn't busy. It was the only time he saw Renji so talkative since he tended to keep to himself more at school. He didn't know why since he was a good looking guy, but now that he was thinking back on it he remembered Renji talking the most with Ichigo. That fucker was probably zeroing in on him from the start.

His emotions has become such a rollercoaster of anger, more anger, and depression that class has been the only time where he had some quiet time to think. Despite his best efforts his mind kept on drifting back to Ichigo, but at least this time he didn't have his girlfriend hanging off of him. Congratulations universe, the day has come, he liked class now. It was too bad some of that class time was cut off because Cirucci insisted that he walked her to class for once. After being together for three weeks she started to want some compensation for all the love that she has been giving him and it caused him to be late.

The hallways started to thin out as he rushed to get to class before the bell rang and his teachers marked him late. He halted as a body slammed into him and papers that she was holding spilled all over the floor. He placed a hand on his chest where a hard head slammed into him, while the girl who slammed into him dropped to the floor to pick up the papers that flew out of her folder that she was holding. Grimmjow sighed and crouched, hearing the bell ring signaling that he was late for class and that there was no point to rushing anymore.

Part of him wanted to keep walking, not needing to bother help the girl he knocked over. He cocked his head at the girl on her knees sliding papers that she dropped closer to her so she could pick them up. She looked familiar and he bent down too so that he could help. In most cases this may have been one of those 'meet, cute' things that they always do in Hollywood, but he was only on his knees because he was curious who this girl was. He studied her face, knowing full well that he met this girl before, but he couldn't recall her name or where he met her.

"You are so lucky these pages are numbered." She growled looking through the paper and sorting them, taking the ones that Grimmjow collected from his hands and reorganized them.

"Gee you're welcome." He grumbled, as he straightened out his knees as he stood up, causing them to pop deciding that it wasn't important to remember this girl.

"Why should I thank you if you were the one who knocked into me?" She glared at him with fire in her eyes while she stood up. Despite her practically being half his size she looked at him like she could kick his ass if he decided to piss her off any further. From the intensity in her eyes part of him didn't doubt it.

Grimmjow was puzzled though. Not one student dared to talk to him like that unless they were in his social circle, well them and Ichigo. He ground his teeth at her defiance. "What the fuck crawled up your butt?" He didn't know why he was engaging with her when the proper thing to do in this situation was to not bother and just go to class.

"You did asshole!" She hissed.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes at the girl. "Are you really getting hysterical just because I knocked into you?"

The girl stood there with a blank look on her face. Before scrunching her nose and then sighing seeming to come to a realization. "You don't remember who I am, do you?"

Immediate stress filled Grimmjow's stomach. His mind started to flip through the many blurry faces of girls that he had slept with wondering what the fuck he did this time. "Are you the girl that let me do you in your ass?" He asked hesitantly, not entirely sure and damn he was hoping he was wrong. He wouldn't know how to act if she was.

The girl looked at him in horror which dissolved that thought. "N-no you pig, I've never slept with you and thank God I haven't." She said correcting her surprised stutter to go back to her strict and stubborn attitude.

"Then who the fuck are you?" Grimmjow asked tired of playing games and knowing that there was no hope he was going to be able to convince his teacher to not mark him as late.

"I'm not surprised considering us 'less popular' people don't really concern you." She sighed. "Does the name Rukia ring a bell? I'm Ichigo's best friend."

Grimmjow remembered Ichigo mentioning her quite a few times and he has seen her once at the nurses' office, but didn't really talk to her much. She didn't seem like the type of person who was interested in becoming friends with him. From the way she acted he wasn't sure if he wanted to be her friend either.

"I don't know what the fuck you did to him, but you better fix it." She said. "He hasn't been himself for weeks and he refuses to talk about you now. He may be getting better, but he's not fully there."

Grimmjow growled and he had to stop himself from knocking the papers out of her hands to make his escape. He was more curious. Ichigo told him that he would tell Rukia everything. She knew about his sexuality before the rumor spread and was one of his greatest allies in helping him through it.

"Maybe he's the one that should be fixing it. He's been avoiding me this entire time." Grimmjow said through his teeth to prevent him from projecting his voice.

Rukia blinked a few times. "Well I don't know the story between you two. I'm not sure you could stop the bullying in this school even with your 'almighty power' especially since your 'pretend to be straight' plan didn't pan out the way you wanted it to."

"If Ichigo really does tell you everything then you should know that I was serious and I still am serious about wanting to help him. I just…I really miss him." Grimmjow said realizing that he shouldn't be saying this. He now seems to see why Ichigo tells her everything. She felt like she had some magic power that made him feel like he could confide in her.

Rukia chewed on the bottom of her lips, face relaxed since he started to pour out his thoughts. She ran her hand through her hair nervously; she may have picked up that nervous habit from Ichigo. "Okay," She said plainly. "Okay, fine. If you are seriously being honest, and I can tell that you are, I'll help."

Grimmjow blinked a few times in surprise. Was she actually serious? And was he actually ready to patch things up knowing full well that his feelings for Ichigo has not died down yet?

Rukia clicked her tongue. "I really shouldn't be telling you this, but he has been hanging out with Renji after school a lot lately. They've been working out in the park." She recalled.

Grimmjow looked at her curiously for someone who seemed so angry and spiteful towards him she was suddenly giving him tips on how to make things right. It looked like she really did care for Ichigo's wellbeing. Was she some kind of angel? In a way Grimmjow was jealous of her. He knew that she wasn't competition, but he still felt the need to keep Ichigo all to himself despite.

They stood in silence awkwardly until the short dark haired girl with intense eyes spoke first. "What the fuck are you still doing here? Don't you have class?"

She said walking away, holding the folder she was holding close to her chest as she turned towards the double doors of the library and let herself in.

He knew that he needed to go to class, but part of him wanted to follow her. He wanted to find out how Ichigo was doing. He was upset and despite how crappy he felt he didn't wish the same thing on him. Dammit, he really did care about him. What the fuck has he been doing?

He followed her, a few feet behind her. She looked back at him with an odd expression on her face; she rolled her eyes, turning away to hide the small smile that threatened to break out. She walked to the desk in the center of the quiet area of the library.

"I won't make judgments on you skipping class, but Ichigo probably wouldn't approve."

Grimmjow shrugged, it wasn't like Ichigo was there to judge him and he wasn't sure how much he would even care now. He knew he wouldn't be able to pay attention to his teacher anyway. At this point he already forgot what period it was and which class he was going to. His mind wasn't able to focus on one thing at a time anymore.

The library has always been a safe place for Ichigo even before he was welcomed into the world of unavoidable drama. He has always been able to hide there since the bullying started and when he became an outcast from the lunch table. Grimmjow knew better than to search for Ichigo in the library. There he was protected by the library's guardian angel who has taken an odd liking to the orange-haired teenager.

The guardian angel residing in the form of a librarian looked up from her book and greeted Rukia with a smile. That was when she recognized the figure hidden behind a large stack of binders and books that was piled on the far side of her desk and frowned. Rukia shrugged nonverbally communicating that she wasn't sure what he was doing here either.

"How've you been Nanao? Mr. Ukitake wanted you to look through his revisal of the first three chapters of the new book he has been working on." Rukia announced handing the folder to her.

Nanao flipped through it, choosing not to acknowledge Grimmjow anymore then she did at the moment. She pulled it out and bit the bottom of her lip slightly. "It looks like he's done a lot since the last time he asked me to look through it. I can tell."

Rukia nodded her head towards the stack of binders on top of the desk. "I hope you'll have time to look through it."

Nanao nodded and immediately opened it and pulled out a red pen and highlighter. "Everyone wants to be a writer now, huh? Most of this feels like remastered fanfiction though. After the success of _Fifty Shades of Grey_ everyone thinks that their writing only needs to have the names changed, but they leave in so many things from what they were writing."

Rukia laughed and picked up the binder at the very top. "Please share." Rukia flipped through looking for red pen or highlights of some mistake that were left in.

Nanao sighed and ran her hand through her hair, messing up her bun as she sucked her teeth in clearly annoyed as she remembered some of the struggles of looking through amateur work. "I really wish people would look up to something better than a story that was originally a bad fanfiction. I don't really know how to react when I read something that leaves weird references in. What the hell is a shunpo and who the heck is Hanataro?"

Grimmjow sat their quietly in awe of what he understood what was going on. He knew this for a while, but there were many different cultures of what was going on in the school that he was supposedly ruling over. Teachers and staff that he never really regarded are people too. They talked casually when they weren't acting professional and had influence in other students' lives by truly wanting to help. Ukitake tried to help Ichigo by introducing him to his fiancé to show that things can get better if he holds on.

Now he was witnessing what was going on in one of the cultures at that very moment and it was surprisingly vast judging by the amount of binders on the librarian's desk that was supposedly filled with student's work that they asked her to look through. He couldn't deny that he was curious.

It took a while for Grimmjow to get up the nerve to talk, but eventually he too picked up a binder and looked through it. "May I ask why you bother doing this much?"

Nanao lifted an eyebrow, but answered respectfully. "I'm the advisor for the writing club. Recently they decided to break off from poetry and start working on novels although I personally think it is a little over ambitious."

Grimmjow flipped through and studied the red pen marks noting running sentences, bad grammar, and oddly broken apart paragraphs, odd anecdotes that should be removed because they served no purpose and were never referenced to, strange details in a story that was used as a weak way to move a story along. Grimmjow had no idea that there were so many mistakes in writing and this probably wasn't even scratching the surface of it.

"How do you get through all of these?" He said noticing just how many mistakes were marked in just one chapter of the binder he picked up.

"I usually have Ichigo help me out." She admitted. "He's an amazing writer, but he lost his drive."

Grimmjow looked up at her with wide eyes. He had no idea that Ichigo wrote stories. He wasn't surprised considering his love for literature and would read through just about any genre, but he never shared that part of him. He always knew that there was more to Ichigo then he let on. He was strong, smart, and despite his denial he was damn attractive. Grimmjow always thought that he was a wallflower and that wasn't wrong, but he had a hand in other people's lives despite them not even knowing about it.

He was the complete opposite of him. Ichigo worked from the shadows and helped people better themselves even if it was only a small percentage of the school, and probably asked nothing in return. He would tutor people, but he didn't really advertise it nor did he demand much payment. Yet Grimmjow demanded attention. He wanted the spotlight at all times. He had influence in the school, but it most likely wasn't positive like Ichigo's. There was a power struggle and people referred to him as if he was at the top, the king while Ichigo was a commoner that gave back to his fellow commoners. He couldn't believe that he was just realizing that now.

Nanao acknowledged his curiosity and pulled out a drawer in her desk that was filled with files. She handed one over to Grimmjow, the tab labeled with 'Ichigo.' "His short stories are interesting and diverse despite him not being so great at poetry." Grimmjow hesitantly took it from her, not knowing if it was a test of some sort.

Rukia looked at Nanao with wide eyes, but smiled at her before giving a slight nod to Grimmjow before she excused herself to the back table where Ichigo usually sits, pulling out a book for herself to read. Those two seemed to be made for each other. It's a good thing that Ichigo is gay.

She would look up every now and then at Grimmjow rummaging through the surprisingly thick folder filled with short stories, each story stapled neatly with minimum red marks from corrections. Each story had a post-it on it labeled with a genre, romance, fantasy, mystery, horror, it felt like he has made a short story in every genre, or at least he was aiming to.

Grimmjow was amazed at the diversity and pulled one out reading the title. Nanao peeked over the paper and shook her head. "That one is a little too complex for you no offense." She took the folder from him and rifled through it pulling out a small, five page story that was labeled with the title ' _No Reality_.' The post-it labeled it as horror. He flipped through it and sat down at the same table Rukia was sitting at. She gave him a side eye before returning to her own book, pulling out a notebook and jotting down answers to homework questions.

"If you are planning to skip class to read through his stories I would suggest starting with that one." Nanao said looking back at the folder holding Ukitake's work. "Don't worry; I'll pretend that I didn't know you had class this period. Just get out when the bell rings. It's Ichigo's lunch period and I would like him to help me out so I don't need you scaring him away."

Grimmjow nodded completely understanding and grateful that she let him look at his work despite her knowing that he was going through a rough patch with the author of the stories he was holding. He was expecting her to chase him out of the room despite the library being for everyone. She was also probably not allowed to throw around his work to anyone who wanted to read it. He couldn't tell what her and Rukia's angle was, but he was grateful that it was turning towards his favor.

"Oh and don't tell Ichigo I let you look through that." She said looking over the stack of papers briefly before returning to the story only for a moment before adding "and that goes double for you, Rukia."

Grimmjow was immediately entrance by the story he was reading. It was a page turner, quick, suspenseful, didn't focus on details and allowed the imagination to do the talking; only putting details where it needed them. He didn't exactly talk about how blue the sky was. There were notes on post-its that were written by his fellow students who have read through it as well requesting more details, but Grimmjow disagreed. More details wouldn't have done it justice; it would take away the feeling of someone verbally telling a story.

He looked over at Nanao who was focused on the story she was reading, highlighting a rather long portion of it. He then pulled out a pack of post-its from his bag that he has long forgotten about and jotted down on the note. 'Hey Ichigo, I know you probably aren't going to see this, but I really liked this story and I think that you shouldn't stop writing.' He stuck it to the front page before hiding it back in the folder towards the middle. He breathed out and noticed the girl he was sitting next to looking right at him while he was doing this.

Grimmjow felt the back of his neck before cold from the sudden sweat that broke out, but he kept his cool. He placed a finger on his lips making a quiet 'shh' noise, darting his eyes towards Nanao momentarily who hasn't seemed to notice. Rukia nodded "Are you sure?" She asked in a low whisper.

Grimmjow shook his head. Honestly, just writing a hidden note to him made him nervous. He wasn't sure how Ichigo would react if he saw it, but he enjoyed his story and he wanted to let him know that someone read it and liked it. Hopefully if he saw the note it would encourage him to start writing again.

Rukia shrugged and offered a small smile. She then rifled through the folder searching for another story quietly by only lifting corners of the pages and peaking at the title labeled at the top before tugging another story and placing it on top. She tapped it, silently telling him to read that one too. He smiled picking it up, enjoying the little secret he shared with an unexpected ally.

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 **A/N: Do all the things I've been asking ya to do for the 12 chapters before this. Just a reminder follow, favorite, review, whatever ya feel like doin.'**


	14. Chapter 14

It's been too long since I've updated. It probably isn't a good idea since I am low on chapters at the moment, but I am excited about this one since it deals with kinda personal issues that I am asking you to keep an open mind about.

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Chapter 14

Ichigo sighed in relief as he eased himself in a chair at the usual round table he sits at when he pays a visit to the library which has once again acted like a safe space. Outside in the maze like halls students who regarded themselves as higher than him got away with the minor bullying they do. They would throw crumpled up paper at the back of his head, it didn't really bother him that much anymore. It was just a nuisance. People calling him 'fag' in the hallway sucked, but it was not nearly as bad as how it used to be. The bullying was still there, but he could sense that people were seriously starting to get bored. They may have gotten bored faster if it wasn't for the fact that he 'fell from popularity' in only a few weeks. His desire to confide in Mr. Ukitake or Nanao died down especially since they already knew.

He had Rukia and Renji anyway. He knew Rukia for so long. She was the first person that he came out to. He knew she would never betray him and she always made time for him. Even if she was supposed to go out with her boyfriend the same night they made plans she would cancel them in favor of being with Ichigo. She and Renji became fast friends and he was soon treated equal to Ichigo in her top priorities. Renji was the most supportive person he has met in a long time. He was a great listener and understood most of what Ichigo was going through in terms of bullying.

The school liked to brag about how long they have been violence free, but just because there hasn't been a fight in the hallways for a long time it didn't mean that violence and bullying didn't exist. It was well known too. The graffiti that was in the bathroom has been painted over, sweeping evidence under the rug so that the school didn't have to deal with it. So that it can keep its reputation. Renji said that he thought every school was like that and even if some teachers are against it those teachers could find themselves getting in trouble if they don't play dumb. It seemed like Renji would know better than anyone considering how his school was the same.

At least there was one sanctuary left for him at the school. No one dared to bully him there since there was the risk of assuring Nanao's wrath who acted as a bodyguard. The people like him who are regulars there knew and respected him. They knew who he was and the amount of work he did for the lesser known students that were in the same social group as them, tutoring, critiquing writing, gives good book suggestions. He was also the kind of person that will help with homework if asked without hesitation. Even with his reputation of being the only gay person out of the closet in the school and taking the brute force of bullying he still had unspoken appreciation.

Despite the library being a nice place to relax typically ever since the incident with Grimmjow he could never focus on the book opened in front of him or the stories he was critiquing without thinking about him. His lunch period was the only break he got during the school day, but knowing that he shared the same free time with a blue haired jerk made him feel uneasy. He hoped that Grimmjow wouldn't come in for any random reason. He wasn't ready to see him yet. He didn't think he could face him since he poured out his feelings to him. He knew that he liked him and rejected him, after Grimmjow snapped back to his old self while having the knowledge of his true feelings. His eyes would keep darting towards the door to see if Grimmjow would come in so that he was ready to run.

The worst part of it all was that there was a part of Ichigo that actually wanted to see him. He missed him. He missed his laugh, his scent, the way he looked at him with interest instead of disgust. He didn't know how he would react if he saw Grimmjow come in through those double doors. His plan was to run, but he wasn't sure if his legs would carry him. He was so confused by his own emotions that he was making himself sick as his stomach reminded him that he was a terrible human being.

Nanao seemed happy to have someone who gave her the time of day. His fellow students don't really care enough to see how the librarian is doing, even the ones who spend a lot of time in the same space. Even if Nanao was happy Ichigo could tell that she knew how upset he was. It made him feel awful for making her worry about it while he refused to bring it up. She tried to keep him busy, giving him book suggestions, starting conversations about topics he liked, and giving him some stories made from the writing club for him to critique and correct.

The short story he was working on critiquing took up two pages of his critiques starting with the bad grammar and ending with not having an understandable conflict. He even started to write another paper, writing the same critiques again, but trying to make it sound nicer as well as throwing in some compliments. He recognized some of the mistakes as some of the ones he has made in the past and he cringed at the memory.

He thought that his life was completely over with the popular crowd, but the past has a habit of clinging to the present. He opened up a new folder containing another classmate's work, ignoring the name of the writer to avoid bias. He pulled out the first chapter of the new novel she was writing. He was just getting through the first few paragraphs, twirling a pencil in his hand, when he heard the sound of a chair pulling out from under the table, someone plopping down next to him, and something like a book getting placed on the table. Out of the corner of Ichigo's eye he saw seafoam green hair and a large chest hidden under a shirt that did its best to cover it. Ichigo's head bolted up, eyes bewildered and mouth hanging slightly open.

"Nel, What are you doing here?" Ichigo asked in a hushed whisper. His eyes bolted to the door to see if Grimmjow was there following behind her.

Nel's kind smile greeting him like she normally did before his long absence and avoidance of the popular crowd. "Can't a girl visit her friend? I figure you'd be here if you weren't at our lunch table."

Ichigo clicked his tongue and turned his head down, facing the stack of papers neatly placed in front of him. "Maybe you haven't noticed, but I haven't been there for a while." He spun his pencil on the top of his hand a few more times, not knowing what to do with his hands or his now rigid body.

Guilt sunk to the bottom of his stomach. She used to wave to him in the hallways and now that he was avoiding her and Grimmjow's crowd he would acknowledge her less. He would pretend not to see her and ignore her big eyes that watched him pass her.

Nel nodded slightly, "I have noticed, and I have also noticed that Grimmjow has been incredibly grumpy lately." She tapped her finger on the desk and crossed her legs tilting her head down in an effort to get to see at least a fraction of Ichigo's face. "Did something happen between the two of you?"

Ichigo turned his head further away from her. He didn't want to be rude to her, but he didn't know what to do. He didn't want her to see how he was actually feeling and he wasn't sure if he would be able to pull off his 'over compensate by smiling act' with her. "If Grimmjow hasn't told you then he probably doesn't want you to know." Ichigo suggested.

Nel's looked downcast, her usual smile gone and replaced with a glum expression. "I figured that, but lately he just hasn't been talking to me and I could really use a friend." She swung her legs slightly from under the table, managing to hit the other chair on the other side.

Ichigo turned his head slightly and looked at her from the corner of his eye, recognizing the depression expressed on her face instead of her happy go lucky personality that she usually hid behind. "I'm not sure if I can help you." He responded honestly. He wasn't sure if he was in the right position to help her out, "But maybe we could talk somewhere a little more private?" He suggested, not really sounding sure of himself. He felt like he needed to do something though. He has been a terrible person lately and maybe he could find a way to make it up to her.

Nel shook her head looking more downcast. "No never mind, this was a stupid idea." She suggested. "I'm fine." She said with a smile, dragging the binder she placed on the table closer to her. "Can I just sit here silently and get some work done?" She asked as if she needed to ask his permission to sit down at the library.

Ichigo turned her head to look at her casually for the first time since she sat down. "Are you sure?" He asked. He looked at her with genuine concern. He may not have talked to her for a long time, but just a few weeks ago he considered her a friend and she herself still called him one.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said with a forced smile that quivered, her eyes blinking a few times to try to stop the tears from falling. One tear betrayed her and she immediately turned away, frowning and staring intently at her binder.

Ichigo pretended not to see the tear that was accompanied by a few more while she tried to correct any feelings that she had on her sleeves. She focused on open book like it required all of her concentration and pulled out her unfinished math homework.

Ichigo peeked at it out of curiosity and found himself sighing, sliding the paper away from her. She looked at him in confusion, her face still a bit of a mess. "You are using the wrong formula." He said kindly.

Nel's eyes grew and she grabbed her paper holding it up and studied her work. "Really?" She asked in complete shock. Whatever sadness she was hiding before was gone. Just like that a switch flipped and she was more surprised and focused on the formula then whatever was making her cry before.

"Yeah, let me help you with that." Ichigo reached down and pulled out his calculator, pushing the story he was reading to the side. It wasn't like he could focus on the story anyway and plugging numbers into a formula seemed a bit easier at the moment.

He crossed out the formula she has written at the top of the page with the pencil he was twirling in his hand and wrote down the correct one. "This is the formula the teachers want to see even if I know a better method. If you use my method though you won't exactly get a good grade on your test though. You can use it to check your work if you think you have enough time though."

He helped her with the first three problems and with Ichigo's detailed teaching and patience she was able to figure it out and started to do the problems by herself while Ichigo watched and coached her whenever she made a mistake, whether it was her getting disorganized or making a calculation error.

"So how have you been?" She asked, trying to start a conversation that didn't involve math. Hearing her engage in conversation with him was a relief. He was nervous when Nel wanted to just sit their quietly without saying anything. At least now it felt a little normal. It may never be what he considered normal or even his new version of normal again, but this was something.

Ichigo crumpled his left hand slightly and gave her a wide smile. "I'm fine, just a little sore from working out with Renji." He wasn't completely lying he told himself. He wouldn't define himself as 'fine,' but he wasn't lying about being sore. Well, he was sort of lying. He wasn't a little sore. He was _very_ sore. He didn't realize how out of shape he was. Looked like he didn't get his healthy weight from hard work rather he just had good genetics.

"That's right; I've noticed you've been hanging out with Renji more often." She hinted, with a smug look. "That seems fun. I'm a little jealous that you replaced me~" She teased.

"Yeah, he's a cool guy. I wish I knew him sooner." Ichigo said with a genuine smile. He looked up to see Nanao looking his way with a brow raised in curiosity. He gave her a smile to reassure that everything was okay. Despite usually sitting alone, only being approached by people who needed help, someone she may have only seen a few times sat down with her favorite regular like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"So tell me, do you like him?" She said in a hushed tone with a slight giggle, but not doing well to hide her excitement. She looked around to see if anyone over heard her, but her scanning the room only made her looks more suspicious. She returned her attention to Ichigo. His ears were bright red and he looked away from her. She leaned in further so her face was only a few inches away from his. If Ichigo didn't have his ongoing reputation of being gay then the onlookers may have thought that she was flirting.

"Sh-shut up, it's not like that." He stuttered. He forgot what it was like to get probed and teased by her. It was comforting in a weird way, just a hint of familiarity even though he should be used to sitting alone in the library more than anything.

"Look, your blushing~" Nel cooed.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes and looked downward, past her chin to cast his gaze on the paper in front of her. He pulled it closer to him and pointed to a problem. "Why is that number there?" He grumbled in a strict tone, changing the subject so that he was back to his teacher mode.

Nel looked down at her paper and bit her lip lower lip slightly realizing that she couldn't hide her mistake that she knew was wrong, but still did it out of being uncomfortable and wanting to get something on the paper. "Because I didn't like it?" She said hesitantly in a cute voice hoping to not get him frustrated.

"You can't just move around numbers and do things out of order because you want to avoid it. Remember PEMDAS from when we were in 6th grade?" Ichigo reminded her of basic algebra that was taught in middle school. He took matters into his own hands and erased her work and told her where to start from and what she did correctly.

Over time Nel's eyes brightened as she started to comprehend the lesson, gaining something she didn't come over for. She stretched with her arms in the air, tilting her head up and flipping her hair out so that it ran like the tide before falling down with a slight sway. Ichigo slid the paper closer to him as he checked her work. He gave her a smile as he slid the paper back towards her. "Great job," He complimented as he pulled the folders that he was working out of in front of him again.

"Thank you so much~ I didn't know how much I didn't understand until you showed me." Nel said. She tapped her finger to her chin and looked over to him with her big brown eyes that shined like caramel. "Then again you tutor right? That's how you were invited to Harribel's party, right?"

Ichigo's eyes dulled and he looked away from Nel yet again in an effort to hide his face. "Not anymore, she discontinued her lessons."

Nel tilted her head, her hair a strand of hair rolling over her shoulder with the slight movement. "I share a class with her and her grades have gotten worse." Nel said in a serious tone. "She admitted it to me herself." Her upbeat attitude was gone, realizing that something was wrong. Despite her acting oblivious and ditsy like a kid she knew how to read people

Ichigo didn't respond, the only thing that Nel could see from her angle was Ichigo's jaw tightening as he clenched his teeth.

"Tell me what happened." She said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

The warmth of her touch was reassuring and made his eyes sting slightly from tears that he became an expert at preventing. "Take a wild guess." He shrugged.

"She left because of rumors?" Nel asked. "She doesn't seem like the type."

He ran his hand through his hair and gripped it, hiding his pain behind a chuckle and a smile with his back still facing her. "I didn't think she was the type either. I even thought about telling her I was gay before that rumor went crazy."

He faced towards Nel with an aloof expression. "It seems like in this school reputation is everything and she would rather sacrifice her grades then risk lowering hers."

As soon as he said that Nel shot from her seat and wrapped her arms tightly around his back. Her hair leaked over her shoulders smelling slightly like mint and cool to the touch that tickled his cheeks. She rested her head on his shoulder which held her hair in place and buried her head into his neck. Her breath gave him goose bumps as her breath teased his overly sensitive neck. "She isn't a real friend. Real friends don't ditch another friend just because of some minor flaw." She said before correcting herself with her next statement, "and homosexuality isn't a flaw."

Ichigo placed a hand on hers and leaned back into her, the only way he could accept her hug. "It's okay." He lied. "I'm used to it at this point. A lot of my friends left me just to save them from being bullied the same way."

He thought about what Renji said. 'You never get over it when your friends leave you just because you shared who you really are.' It rang through his head as well as his next statement. 'I wish I knew their true feelings before because once the secret is out there is no way to go back.' He was right. Renji had a very similar experience to what Ichigo was going through right now.

"In fact, I'm surprised you didn't do the same."

Nel shook her head, causing Ichigo to sway with it. "I don't wanna." Was all she said, refusing to let go.

Before Ichigo was out of the closet he was so far in that he was in Narnia. When Harribel asked him who he had a crush on he lied and said a random students name from his class. He didn't even remember the name he said. She guaranteed that she will be going to her birthday party to try to tempt him to go. He felt cornered so he went. He may have not played sports at school and stayed away from gender norms, keeping to himself in the library reading, studying, doing homework, or writing. He didn't sexually harass girls because he respected women and his best friend who he loves is one. It was too suspicious apparently because as soon as the rumor started all these little details looked like evidence.

Ichigo gestured with his head slightly to avoid knocking into her face which rested against his neck, her head leaning on his shoulder. "Izuru, Momo, and Shuuhei barely come over anymore. Uryu as usual keeps his distance despite our dads' acquaintance with each other." Ichigo noted. He kept listing names, pointing out every regular in the library that he has become familiar with from them asking for help, sharing book suggestions, setting class schedules for next year, and asking him to help with their stories. Despite the knowledge that Nel probably doesn't know most of these people he kept on going. He talked to Rukia about it, but he knew talking about it more may make him feel better.

Nel tightened her grip around him as he started to finish up. "You still have friends; you still talk to Rukia right?" She said not fully certain of the name, "and you've been hanging out so much with Renji." She pointed out.

She lightened her grip on Ichigo to look at him square in his expressionless face minus his usual stern eyebrows. "Also I'm still here. Just because we haven't talked in a while doesn't mean that I am no longer here."

She let go as the bell ending the period rang and Ichigo started to shove his books into his book bag. He carried the small piles of folders that he didn't have time to look through to Nanao's desk. "I have to go." Ichigo said he said walking towards the double doors that were the exit of the library. He looked over his shoulder slightly at Nel whose eyes shined with eyes filled with tears that have threatened to fall again. Then Ichigo managed to say one thing lightly, unsure of it himself, "thank you."

Days passed, things started to feel normal once Nel started to text him again. Despite him not talking to Grimmjow he got to learn more about Nel as an individual instead of Grimmjow's accessory, talking to her one on one more often. At that point he started to work out daily with Renji rather than occasionally. He even started trying to get him to play rugby. After they worked out they had plans to either have 'stupid movie night' with Rukia or have dinner with her depending on what they were feeling.

The school bell rang and he walked down the halls joining the crowd of people all going in the same direction to leave the building. Waiting by the exit was Renji with a big smile on his face with his gym bag over one shoulder and with his backpack over the other. Ichigo approached him and they started to walk to the park just like they did every day before breaking into a jog. They would drop by Renji's house to drop off their stuff; he would give his grandma a kiss before grabbing the rugby ball and water bottles, changing into clothes that they don't mind getting dirty before jogging out the door.

This was the only time Ichigo ever sees Renji without a large sweater on. He looked fit which was a shame that he hid it under a large sweater. Ichigo has asked him in the past why he insisted on wearing a large sweater now and he waved it off saying that it was out of habit. To anyone else that response may not have made sense, but since Ichigo knew his situation he understood. Though Renji saved up enough money recently to work himself out of that habit, Ichigo understood it would take some time to leave the comfort of his baggy sweaters.

He looked good, probably one of the most attractive people he knew. He was muscular and his skin looked clear. He was confident enough in his masculinity to grow his hair out and it looked great on him. He had a thin waist and although Renji didn't vocalize it that often Renji has mentioned that he is self-conscious about his figure and he worked hard to become stronger so that he could make up for it. If the thing with Grimmjow didn't happen so recently he may have had a crush on him.

They start their work outs by running to the park as a warm up, running to a spot that was less populated due to the decreasing temperature. As usual they set up the four same trees to be the ends of the field. Getting past the trees that seemed to line up perfectly was a tri. Despite it only being the two of them Ichigo was able to learn a lot from just that and Renji's agility gave him a challenge.

"How's your soreness?" Renji asked, tossing the ball from one hand to the other before passing it to Ichigo who caught it without being phased by the sudden toss. It took a while, but he was getting used to throwing it around. It was larger than a football which surprised him at first and it took a bit longer then he had hoped to get used to tossing it.

"Not great, it still hurts to even sit down." Ichigo admitted, "It's nothing I can't handle though." He said tossing it back a little faster with a spiral to prove that he knew how to throw it properly.

"Did you try the stretches I showed you?" He continued while catching the ball.

"I forgot some of them."

"That's not too surprising." He confessed.

"I'll show you after we finish. I still need to teach you how to tackle properly." Renji leaned towards Ichigo to grab a hold of his arm, guiding him away from slipping on some mud before he was ready to play. It takes time to get used to playing on slippery grounds. Ichigo blushed slightly from the unexpected contact and slight embarrassment. God he was muscular. "Are you excited?"

Ichigo smiled despite his eyebrows still knitted together like he always did giving him a smugger look then excited. He was admittedly excited for this lesson. He was bored of being taught the rules an how to throw, the proper ways to run to pass to teammates as well as receive. He was ready to knock some people down even if it was just Renji.

Renji took that smile as a confirmation and walked up to Ichigo in a stride before gently wrapping his sturdy arm across Ichigo's chest at shoulder level. "This is a high tackle, it's illegal." Renji started. "As much as we want to knock people down both of us need to get out of this alive." Renji said taking his arm off of him and slipping his mouth guard on which was good considering a second later he was knocked to the ground sideways with a body on top of him.

Renji fell on his side uncomfortable and struggled to roll over so that he was on his back as the offender repositioned himself so that he was sitting on Renji's stomach that was breathing heavily out of exhilaration. The muscular, blue haired man pinned him down with one hand on his wrist with the other on his throat, not tightly but enough so that Renji knew not to move unless he wanted to get hurt or threatened to hurt himself. Despite knowing better Renji still placed his hand on Grimmjow's wrist that hovered over his gripped neck, not prying it off, but holding it.

"Don't touch him!" Grimmjow shouted, mouth snarling like a wild animal and eyes like a predator.

Ichigo was amazed and horrified. This was the most he has seen of Grimmjow after weeks of avoiding him and here he was, coming out of nowhere and attacking Renji for no reason, unprovoked and unfairly. This was the most he has ever interacted with him even though his statement wasn't directed at him. He was unhappy to say the least, but mostly he was confused and mad. How the hell did Grimmjow find him in a park during the time of year that was rapidly getting colder? And why the hell was he attacking him? He can guess from what he said in his last statement, but that still didn't justify the insane action.

"What the fuck Grimmjow!" Ichigo shouted, ready to pull Grimmjow off, but stopping, realizing that his hand around Renji's throat can potentially hurt him if he tightens it as a reaction. "What are doing?"

Grimmjow looked at Ichigo out of the side of his eyes with anger still ingrained into his eyes. "I'm fucking up this pervert. Isn't that obvious?" He growled turning his attention back on Renji, looking like he was about to tear him a new one. At least if Grimmjow decided to do just that he had a mouth guard on to keep his teeth from being bashed in, not that that was an option.

"Get off of him." Ichigo demanded with a little bit of franticness in his voice. "This has nothing to do with you."

Grimmjow's eyes grew and whipped his head back to Ichigo, tugging his hand a bit sideways unintentionally with the movement causing Renji to gulp. Ichigo stood frozen, despite him knowing that he probably wasn't mad at him his expression made him look like he was about to jump off Renji's chest and attack him.

"Nothing to do with me? You're the one running off with another guy." Grimmjow pointed out swinging his head in a slight nod to Renji, the small movement causing Renji to cough.

Ichigo wanted to interject saying that he got a girlfriend the day after he confessed, but not only did he not want to say it in front of Renji. He didn't tell anyone about the confession and he wasn't ready for Renji to know about it yet. He at least wanted to have a normal relationship before unloading everything onto him and Rukia. He bit his tongue knowing that his first priority was to get Grimmjow off of him before he noticed.

Grimmjow's anger quickly turned to one of realization, blinking a few times before turning his attention slowly and hesitantly back to Renji. "Um…Renji?"

Renji coughed again and looked at him with more impatience then anger. "What?" He struggled to say through his mouth guard and neck that was currently being held.

"Are you a chick?" He asked with clear uncertainty in his voice.

Shit. He noticed.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey...**


	15. Chapter 15

Please don't get mad for me being gone for so long. I don't want to go into details about it so let's just do a quick recap of what happened last chapter.

Shit happened. Now here is another chapter.

* * *

Chapter 15

What the fuck? Grimmjow thought as he looked at Renji pinned down under him with a hand around his throat. How did he get there? He knew how logically, but this moment was not exactly expected. He followed Rukia's tip; he went walking in the park right after school the day he was given that secret information. He sat through his classes the entire rest of the day thinking about what he was going to say and what excuse he had to come up with for running into him casually. It was the first time he was scribbling in his notebook in a while, not notes for class, but to keep track of the ideas that were thrashing around his head. Each one sounded stupider then the last and every idea written messily as Grimmjow bounced his leg while writing before he gave up, tearing the paper he was writing on. All of those ideas that were torn apart were probably much better then what actually happened.

He was never even able to articulate anything before he threw himself at Renji. Rukia has told him that they work out in the park. He was expecting Renji to be there. He knew he would be. He just didn't anticipate Renji being so hands on during the regimen though. He fucking new that guy was a threat!

In retrospect it was stupid to assume that he was flirting because from what small amount he knew about rugby was that it was a pretty physical sport. He could tell now from the ball lying on the ground that they were planning to play as much as you can with only two people. Yet seeing another guy put his hands on Ichigo was more than he could put up with. If he can't have Ichigo then no one can. He knew it was fucked up, but they were his real, selfish, irrational thoughts. No matter how fucking crazy they were they were real to him.

He walked through the park for a while looking for them despite knowing that he probably was there early. He ignored the fucking cold with a solid determination to face Ichigo and make him listen after not talking to him for what felt like a fucking lifetime. He finally found them after walking towards a back part of the park that he already walked through twice during his rotation. He must have caught them really early now realizing that the only sweat on Renji probably came from the stress of being tackled to ground unexpectedly. It took a while to notice many details in his rage. Details like how light Renji was when he knocked him over, the slimness of his waist that he wrapped his legs around, his surprisingly soft skin, the smooth evenness of his neck.

It took him a few moments for his brain to catch up with his adrenaline before he realized that he did something morally wrong. His eyes were large after the silence of both Renji and Ichigo. The man(?) pinned under him blinked a few times and used his hand that was gripping Grimmjow's wrist to pull his mouth guard out of his mouth, saliva coating it despite only wearing it for a little while. "Can you please get off of me?" He said clearly annoyed, and oddly not threatened in the least.

"Wait, are you?" He was so confused. He couldn't tell whether he should get off of Renji or not. Was this sexual harassment if he was straddling a guy his age who he thought was a dude, but is actually a girl? He probably should get off either way, but that wasn't the point. If he was a dude he would have probably given him hell by now despite knowing that he did nothing wrong. Now that he was potentially a girl he didn't know what to do. Was this guy or um…really the pervert? He was starting to feel like one for pinning him (her?) down.

"I'm a guy. Let's leave it at that. Now get off, please." He rolled his eyes as if clearly showing Grimmjow that he was annoyed because, let's face it, Grimmjow was pretty fucking dense. And yes, he was annoyed, but Grimmjow could sense something else. Agitation? Anxiety?

Ichigo's hands fell limp to his side and bit his lip with sorrow in his eyes like a dog died in movie. It takes no convincing to say that that is worse than seeing your friend tackled to the floor.

"I'm sorry, what is going on? He asked unaware and feeling like an idiot.

Ichigo's expression changed from sorrow to distaste. "Grimmjow, just leave it and go away."

"You were going to have a conversation with Ichigo which can be taken place anywhere but on top of me." Renji insisted now rolling his foot back and forth similar to how Grimmjow bounces his leg when he is agitated.

Grimmjow stared at him again, drinking in all the features he missed before. Renji was wearing a mask of makeup. His jaw line was shadowed with makeup, his neck, his forehead. His entire face was constructed to form an illusion. He's seen how long it takes for Cirucci to put on makeup. It seemed elementary compared to the work Renji put in to reconstruct his face. It really seemed that people did not want to know that he was a girl.

He was sitting on top of him, but his chest seemed flat, or flat enough for him to believe that he was a guy.

"Hey" Renji insisted bringing him back to Earth. "I may sound like a broken record and I'm starting to feel like I'm the one going insane, but get off." He said struggling, finally deciding to pry Grimmjow's loose hand off of his neck. "And stop looking at me like that. It's weirding me out."

Grimmjow noticed the movement and got off of him, anger completely drained and turned into disbelief. He could never look at Renji the same way, seeing the structure of his face being sculpted by makeup and now seeing through the illusion now that he was looking. It must have been impossible to make it look the same every day. The amount of time he puts in must be insane. How does this guy never look tired and full of energy?

"You better not tell anyone about any of this." He said with a serious and threatening tone. "I can't change schools again."

Even his voice he couldn't look past. It sounded masculine, but forced masculine like that wasn't his real voice, but he was impersonating a guy's voice and constantly struggling to keep it consistent for a long period of time especially now that he had Grimmjow's hand wrapped around his throat before.

"Ichigo, keep him on a short leash. I'm gonna go and let you two sort your shit out." Renji called, picking up the forgotten ball.

"Wait Renji!" Ichigo called.

"Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. Just not in the mood to be looked at under a microscope. I'll help jot your memory of what the fuck is going on. Grimmjow just attacked me and yelled at me not to touch you. Can you go back to that? It's probably way more interesting"

Grimmjow blinked a few times, remembering that his original purpose of coming here wasn't to discuss his usual waitress's…err waiter's identity. He'll get that story from Ichigo later…maybe. He couldn't believe that he was actually curious what the fuck was going on with him about that.

He looked over at Ichigo with a slight blush. He doesn't blush, but Ichigo was the only one that could bring that out of him. He remembered his plan of _casually_ running into him and what he was going to say, but that all went to hell. Now he couldn't find the right words and was now hoping that Ichigo would take the lead.

Neither of them talked as Renji's attention swapped from looking at Ichigo to Grimmjow back to Ichigo again apparently forgetting that he just said that he was leaving. "Goddammit," He stated breaking the awkward silence despite not being part of this and was even trying to get out of the entire situation. He acted friendly if not impatient like Grimmjow didn't just assault him and it was a normal day at Friendly's. "Grimmjow, you have a car right? Go somewhere else more private where you can't escape each other. Ichigo I can bring you your stuff later. Text me if you can't hang out with me and Rukia later. Knowing her she'll understand, maybe even encourage" he waved his finger between Ichigo and Grimmjow "this, for some reason."

The car ride was silent despite the small conversation the two of them had about where to go and they settled on Grimmjow's house where the chance of them being interrupted was the lowest and where neither of them can really run away from. They stared ahead looking at nothing; Grimmjow was in a trance, barely focusing enough on the road he was driving on. Once in the house Grimmjow lead the way to his room with Ichigo following him in complete silence with his head down. He dreaded the heavy silence that was so thick that you needed more than a knife to cut through it, maybe even a buzz saw.

Grimmjow sat on his bed and Ichigo followed his example, sitting down hesitantly. It was silent, a few seconds, a minute, what felt like an hour passed of them just staring at the floor. He wasn't quite prepared to say anything. Everything he was planning to say started to sound stupid in his head and every moment that passed became more awkward realizing that Ichigo was waiting for him to speak first.

Ichigo sighed. "What are we doing here?" He asked. Grimmjow expected him to talk more, but his question was followed by more silence.

"I'm tired Ichigo." Grimmjow managed to say after who knows how long. "I thought up all these things to say to you, but none of them makes sense. I'm just tired."

There was more silence. This pattern of a sentence or two followed by silence was getting nowhere, but neither of them knew what to say. Not with Grimmjow's past experience of girls confessing to him or Ichigo's knowledge of fancy books.

"What did you think you were doing?" Ichigo finally asked. "Attacking Renji, yelling at him not to touch me, how did you expect me to react?"

"I don't know, I wasn't thinking." Grimmjow admitted as soon as Ichigo's question left his lips. "I just got angry and I did it without realizing what was happening." He was probably stating the obvious, something that Ichigo probably figured out himself already.

"What would you have gained from attacking the guy I was hanging out with?" Ichigo asked again, wording it differently, clearly not satisfied with Grimmjow's answer. Grimmjow hated how he was only contributing questions, milking out every feeling that was rushing through his mind. He couldn't sort through them himself and now he was being asked to articulate them.

"He isn't a guy." Grimmjow corrected, causing Ichigo to knit his eyebrows and clench his fists.

"Yes he is, and don't you dare think otherwise." Ichigo threatened the heat raised in the discussion, but it was not going in the direction Grimmjow hoped. "Stop getting side tracked, why did you attack him?"

"Because I'm fucking in love with you! What do you think?" Grimmjow shouted, making Ichigo jump back, too shocked to blush. Grimmjow just panted after blurting it out, anxiety making breathing hard, not knowing where that explosion came from or what kind of animal it felt like was standing on his chest. He was just as shocked as Ichigo the second the words left his mouth.

"What?" Ichigo asked hesitantly. "We-we've been through this. No you don't. You have a girlfriend. You don't." He said in fragments, he started to rub his arm with his opposite hand, looking down to avoid any form of eye contact.

Grimmjow growled at the thought of her being brought up in the conversation. "She means nothing. She's disposable," he said pinching his eyebrows together. "You aren't, fuck. Not talking to you was the worst three weeks of my life." He admitted quietly making his voice raspy, but it still had a hint of spice from his left over anger. He hesitantly lifted his hand and placed it on Ichigo's leg, taking a deep breath to calm down. Ichigo flinched, but he didn't shove the hand off of him. That must have been a good sign, right?

Ichigo stayed silent and leaned back a bit more into his bed taking a deep breath and looking towards the ceiling, focusing on the spinning of the ceiling fan that adorned Grimmjow's simple looking room. "I'm sorry." Ichigo said simply. The short sentence, as simple as it was felt genuine.

"You said that you wanted to remain friends, but you never talked to me. I wanted to give you time, but after a while I looked for you. You hid and I thought that was the end of it." Grimmjow explained he threw his head down. "It hurt so much that I can't take it anymore! All I can think about is you!" He shouted. He took his hand off Ichigo's leg so that he could lean his elbows on his knees and bury his hands into his hair.

Ichigo remained quiet for a few seconds of Grimmjow's heavy breathing. "I'm sorry." He repeated at a loss of what else to say.

"Fuck! This is all your fault!" Grimmjow shouted again, getting every feeling out that he had no idea was even there. He didn't know where this was all coming from. He never talked so much about his emotions before. He never thought so much about his emotions before. He didn't know how to articulate what chaos was going on in his head. He wasn't thinking about what he was saying anymore. He couldn't contain it anymore. He didn't know what to do anymore. "What have you done to me!?"

Ichigo stayed silent. A second past, a minute past, neither of them knew how long they were sitting there. "I know this was my fault, but I didn't know what to do." He admitted, explaining himself for the first time since they sat down. Hearing his voice respond more than two words comforted Grimmjow in a weird way, seeing that the conversation is going somewhere, and once Ichigo started to talk he continued. "I don't belong with you and you getting a girlfriend reminded me of that. We are from two different worlds and we both went back to what we knew best no matter what it felt like."

Grimmjow shook his head. "I don't want that." He said quietly, not picking his head up, slowly unclenching his fingers and allowing them to fall limply back to his knees. "All I could think about is you and being around you made me the happiest I have ever been since entering high school."

"I feel the same way." Ichigo admitted. "It's something I missed for the three years we haven't talked before."

"Then why did you push me away? The first time I shared my true feelings with you, you pushed me away." Grimmjow reminded him. This was his fault. He was the reason he was making him feel like this. It was his fault and he knew it. "You made me feel like I did something wrong."

"I was scared." Ichigo said in a whisper. "I never felt anything like that before."

Grimmjow lifted his head and looked into Ichigo's eyes that shined brightly over the amber surface. His lips were relaxed and his eyebrows for the first time he has seen in who knows how long were not scrunched together in a permanent frown. "You're not telling me something." Grimmjow noticed. "What aren't you sharing? I put myself out in the open so now it's your turn." Grimmjow returned Ichigo's usual glare, his face void of any other emotion.

Ichigo blew out a breath and tapped his knees as if trying to gather his thoughts. He didn't seem like he was trying to hide anymore rather he didn't know how to put his feelings in words.

"I don't know where to start." Ichigo said.

"Then just say something." Grimmjow said placing his hand on Ichigo's leg again, causing him to flinch again.

"I'm afraid of ruining your life. I've been terrorized ever since my sexuality has been confirmed at school. Even you were disgusted by me at first. Heck I still thought you were somewhat disgusted by me until you told me how you felt. If you date me I will drag you down with me, probably even deeper given your reputation."

"That's an easy fix." Grimmjow said. "We can keep it a secret if you are afraid. I still want to hang around you at school, but we don't have to act like a couple. I'm willing to do it if you wanna try it."

Ichigo said nothing. So Grimmjow decided to keep pushing forward. "Is that it?"

"No." Ichigo said. "You are also ignorant. I knew this for a while, but I was just reminded how ignorant you are today."

"Okay, got it. I'm a dumbass. I'll read a book or something, you can teach me if it bugs you that much. Anything else?"

Ichigo went silent.

"You totally have something else." Grimmjow noted. He knew Ichigo long enough to know when Ichigo was hiding something. Not sharing the truth so that he can avoid hurting him. "Spill it. I can take it."

"Because kissing may be fine with you, but you are all about sex, fuck! You're homophobic so you won't want to do anything else with me. You'll get bored and leave me once you reach your limit and I don't think I can take that." Ichigo blushed then looked away.

Grimmjow wasn't expecting an outburst from Ichigo considering he is usually able to keep calm in awkward situations like this. He usually only saw Ichigo like that when he teased him enough, then it was easy to get that rise out of him. In situations a situation like this though, even Ichigo looked ashamed of himself.

There was silence again.

Grimmjow's mind flashed back to the time he had a surprise hookup session with his 'ex-girlfriend,' Righty in the shower. He then thought about his girlfriend who was asleep while he did that bit of self-care. The furthest Grimmjow has went with Ichigo was kissing and that wasn't enough for him. He could no longer be satisfied after just a taste.

"You couldn't stand the idea that I was gay and you clearly have a hard time remembering that Renji is a guy. I don't think you can survive in this world."

Grimmjow remained silent as Ichigo continued to get every last feeling out.

"I know I disgust you even if you are used to me. How do you think that makes me feel? If you really wanted to be a couple, how do you think I would feel if I can't even turn my boyfriend on? And how my boyfriend doesn't find me as attractive in the same way as I find him?"

Grimmjow was done listening to him. He grabbed the back of Ichigo's head and forced his lips to his, teeth nearly clashing. Ichigo's breath hitched and Grimmjow's eyes squeezed tightly, pained from having to hold his urges back that entire time.

Ichigo's lips were just how he remembered them and Ichigo hesitantly separating them slightly filled him with reassurance that spread throughout his entire body, which gave him the courage to slip his tongue inside and wrap his arms around him while scooting closer. He knew exactly where to go to get the right reaction from him he memorized it, dreamed about it, fantasized about it, and Ichigo gasping made him smile against his lips.

Grimmjow then felt a hand pressing to his chest, lightly, unsure of whether it was the best move to push any harder. Grimmjow growled and fought every instinct in his body to go against it. "If you go any further it will only make it harder for me." Ichigo muttered, his breath drifting on Grimmjow's lips. He was practically trembling which was once again out of character for him.

"That's kinda the goal here." Grimmjow assured.

His boy living downstairs agreed.

He wasn't sure if he was ready for sex. Sex was scary especially if it involves entering from the backdoor. He may have done it before, but he wasn't sure if he was willing to try that with Ichigo. He was terrified of hurting him. He's never been more scared of anything in the world.

"What do you want me to do?" Grimmjow asked pulling himself away slightly from Ichigo, allowing him to talk, but not enough to let him escape.

Ichigo was silent, oddly enough not trying to break out of Grimmjow's hold. They sat there for another moment, Grimmjow waiting, studying his distracted eyes.

He then became impatient. Patience was never his strong suit. He groaned in frustration, letting go of Ichigo and moving his hand southward to Ichigo's sweatpants

Ichigo jolted. "What the fuck are you doing?" He said shoving Grimmjow's hand off his crotch, body rigid.

Grimmjow grunted, giving a small glare at Ichigo, and moved his hands back to his crotch and started to untie his pants. Ichigo grabbed a hold of his hands tightly to try to get him to stop.

"I'm going to suck your dick." He said mostly to himself to reassure what he was doing and to encourage himself to keep going.

"What the actual fuck?" Ichigo said, hands trembling and starting to turn pink to match the color of his face. Grimmjow didn't even know that was physically possible.

"I need to do this." Grimmjow muttered. "I need to prove to you that I like you and that I am not disgusted by you." He felt his own ears turning pink and his stomach turn sour. He was nervous. He has never been so nervous in his entire life.

"Okay, I'm convinced." Ichigo said frantically. "Please stop. You don't need to do this."

"I want to." Grimmjow growled looking back up to Ichigo as he hesitantly undid the knot despite Ichigo's hands holding his. "Now shut the fuck up and relax."

He slid off the bed and got on his knees. He held the waistband of Ichigo's pants and attempted to drag it down, but Ichigo wouldn't budge.

"Ichigo, I swear to God let me take your fucking pants off." Grimmjow growled.

"No. I'm not doing anything until you come to your senses." Ichigo said.

"Suit yourself." Grimmjow said standing up and shoving Ichigo back on the bed and tearing his pants and boxer briefs off by force.

"Holy shit," Ichigo shouted, sitting up and covering his crotch with his hands. "We-we're gonna need to have a talk about consent…and safe words."

Grimmjow rolled his eyes "Shut the fuck up, when life hands you a blowjob you take the blowjob." He said grabbing onto Ichigo's t-shirt and pulling it up, forcing Ichigo's arms up and away from his crotch which seemed to be betraying Ichigo's wishes.

He threw his shirt in the opposite direction of his pants and pulled his own shirt off as well, dropping it behind him. He studied Ichigo; he has seen him shirtless more than once, but never in this context. It felt naughtier and hotter, especially now that he was claiming his body for himself. He wanted to touch him, but he knew if he did that he was going to procrastinate and wind up not going down on him at all.

He got back on his knees and forced his legs apart. "Wait, what about your girlfriend?"

Grimmjow growled. "Will you ever shut up? I already said that I don't give a shit about her." Cheating was already second nature to him. This time he wasn't doing it because he wanted sex. He was actually doing it to win over Ichigo. It should be okay if he was doing it for that.

He needed to concentrate. He looked back at Ichigo's dick which Ichigo finally decided to stop hiding which was impressive because he was half erect. He hesitated, studying it. It was larger than he expected it to be. It also seemed that Ichigo managed his hair, but has gotten lazy. The roots of the carpet matched the drapes, but appeared darker.

He reached out and gripped it in his hand. "Fuck," Ichigo cursed. He never held another dude's dick before. It felt just like his, but it was different. He couldn't tell why, but it was definitely different. He stroked it a few times slowly to get a feel for it, allowing Ichigo a turn with Righty, watching Ichigo's flat stomach rise and fall and his hands gripping the bed sheets. He picked up the pace knowing that he was procrastinating now because he has already gotten Ichigo to be fully erect.

 _Don't think, just go._ He hated when girls pussied out on him and he was determined not to do the same. Grimmjow slid his lips over the head. He didn't know what he expected dick to taste like, but he was now mentally thanking Ichigo for being so clean. Even though Grimmjow caught him working out and how he personally knows how it can get pretty warm where Mr. Johnson and The Juice Crew lives Ichigo's schween seemed to taste like soap, that soap that smells like 'rain' to be specific. There goes the anxiety of his dick potentially tasting like armpit, or feet, or even worse. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great. It was scary; the only thing that kept him going was knowing that it was Ichigo's.

"What the fuck?" Ichigo gasped, lurching forward to grab onto Grimmjow's hair. Grimmjow not anticipating the sudden movement took more of him into his mouth before he was ready, causing him to gag. He retreated slightly, but gained back his composure.

After all the times he had girls go down on him he wasn't sure what to do even when he had a dick in his mouth. He thought about what girls did that he liked and decided to work with that.

Ichigo shuttered and his erection twitched with more interest inside of Grimmjow's mouth. He gasped as Grimmjow popped it out of his mouth and licked a long line across his entire member, nose briefly meeting his pubes before dragging its way back to the tip and swirling his tongue around it which caused him to squirm, fingers grasping his hair tighter, making his own buddy downstairs gain interest.

Grimmjow hesitated, not because he was scared, but he didn't know whether he could finish Ichigo off properly. He looked up at Ichigo, studying his innumerable amount of emotions and expressions on his face. Grimmjow smiled in wonder of what would happen if Grimmjow went all the way down on him instead of just getting stuck at the tip.

 _Don't think, just go._ He gradually took more of him into his mouth, going as far as he could without gagging. He wasn't prepared to test his limit at the moment considering he was already pushing himself. Ichigo bit his lips to hold back a groan, which only excited Grimmjow more. Goddammit, he really hoped Ichigo would get him off too after he was finished with him.

He pulled back to bring himself forward again sucking him the way that he liked it using the girls who have done the same for reference. He avoided having his teeth graze against Ichigo's member as much as possible and took care not to slobber all over it, sucking whatever liquids that came out back into his mouth regardless of what it was or what it tasted like. He placed one hand on his hip while the other teased his balls, slightly tugging them and rolling them around the palm of his hand. His other hand he started to use to jerk himself off.

It seemed like more than Ichigo could handle. He was really shy about this stuff and just thinking about what was going on in his mind made him more excited. Ichigo made indistinguishable sounds as well as sweet nothings that mostly consisted of 'shit,' 'oh fuck,' and 'goddammit, Grimmjow.' That last one was his favorite.

He placed one of his hands on the inside of Ichigo's inner thigh, pushing it out to give him easier access to the part that he was working on. He held onto his hip to prevent him from rocking. As hot as it was when he did that to a girl, he wasn't sure if he was ready to handle that and it seemed Ichigo respected that by resisting against the urge.

Ichigo responded well to everything that Grimmjow did which filled him with confidence, noting his member that was pulsated in his mouth. He couldn't last long and then Grimmjow remembered one last thing he liked girls to do for him.

"W-wait Grimmjow, I'm going to cum." Ichigo insisted, tugging his hair to try to pry him off of his member without hurting him, but Grimmjow kept going. "Get off; I can't hold it much longer." Ichigo said seriously. "Please."

Grimmjow continued to bob his head, ignoring him, and even started to suck harder as a rebuttal "Wait, don't—" Ichigo cried out, arching his back involuntarily, and poured everything he had into his mouth. A hot load shot into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat and coating his tongue met by a second and then a third. His immediate shock of the warmth and consistency burning the back of his throat got to him first. Then he started to process the taste, bitter and salty. Bearable, but definitely not pleasant. In fact, he wasn't sure he could handle any of it at the moment.

Grimmjow pulled off of his member and started to cough in an effort to get rid of the burning sensation in his throat. What the fuck? Girls were doing that for him consistently? He should write them all a fucking thank you card.

"What the fuck did I just say?" Ichigo said urgently getting off the bed and grabbing the glass of thankfully unfinished water sitting on Grimmjow's bedside table.

He gave it to Grimmjow who threw it down his throat, coughing a few times and sighing at the relief of the pain subsiding.

"Better." Grimmjow confirmed still breathing heavily as the pain started to dwindle yet still present. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand, noting how wet it was, so much for trying not to slobber all over his dick. He has gained a new respect for all the girls that went down on him. It was a mental and in some respects physical workout. His jaw was probably going to be sore tomorrow considering how it was feeling now.

"You fucking, dumbass," Ichigo said covering his face. "This is so fucking embarrassing."

He grabbed onto the back of Ichigo's head and tangled his fingers inside, pulling him closer so that their lips could meet. An intended short chaste kiss turned into a long make out session before Grimmjow pulled away. "Totally worth it." He reached his hand down to gesture to his own cock. "Also maybe you can give me some help too."

* * *

 **A/N: Do me a favor and don't expect me to be fully back. Honestly I try to have 5 chapters prepared before I post, but I am way behind on that. But I do have some fun stuff planned now that we are finally at this part of the story. Let's hope that I have time for it now that I am in the mood to start posting again. Do me another favor, follow, favorite, and most importantly REVIEW it is the only way for me to see that the people reading are people and not just numbers on a graph.**


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